Relationships - hmmm … what can i say ! It is a known fact that men and women are made “different” … this has to be “understood” and “felt” by either. and this doesnt happen in a day. Relationships start out being a “bed-of-roses” and on a “coochy-koo” note (hahah) but as time progresses, both get to know each other very well and this is where the essence of the relationship kicks in. Its the responsibility of both the parties involved to get through this “phase-of-striking-a-balance” to make the entire life a “bed-of-roses” :-).

Its just like a scooter ! U definitely need those “sparks” to start the “engine” up. Small fights and some misunderstandings at the beginning form a building block for the relationship and if the “engine” can fire-up on those “sparks”, love (as a fuel) wud kick in together with commitment (as the oil) to keep the “engine” running. i think it is necessary for one to understand the other more deeply and to actually “feel” the other person in you. There needs to be a constant flow of fuel (love) and oil (commitment) to keep this “engine” running smoothly !! hahaha ! All u have to do is go ahead and safely change “gears” to pick-up on the speed ! even if one of them falls short, u r gonna have hick-ups no matter which “gear” (stage of relationship) u r on !

Again, If you dont have those “sparks”, its not gonna last long. Referring to a cycle here, if one if “driving” the other, it just ends up being a “bland” way, and soon some one s gonna get tired at some point !

oo boyyyyyy !!! what a “logically mechanical” way of looking at a relationship !! ppl … take-it-easy !! just had some thoughts that i added here ;))) ….

Either man or woman, both need to know the other is committed. The way they might need it may-be (is) different, but it does exist in both !

Cmon ppl … fire up ur comments ! LOL ! lots to talk about a “scooter” and a “cycle” !!! hahahah !

Nice expression of thots, Megs. Lage raho :-)

http://gvenum.blogspot.com/2004/07/relationships-re-revisited.html#comments

-Crush

[Chhotu] I think men get into a relationship to unpack and take residence just as much as women do. Years of straight-jacketing men as ‘players’ and women as the ‘lifetime commitment’ sorts has led to a certain pressure on both sides to conform to the stereotype. I think men long for stability and commitment as much and women long for freedom and the feeling of not being tied down. Its unfortunate that those sides don’t get expressed quite as much..

[Jupe] I have objections to what you said on SOO many levels, that I don’t know where to begin :) First and foremost, most women don’t assume that they are NOT their partner’s first choice. Secondly, even if a woman is a man’s first choice, he can still change his mind about her some day. So the need for reassurance isn’t because the woman feels like a second-rate citizen in any way. Its because relationships are dynamic, even the ones that are the ‘real thing’.

A mother-child relationship is not one of choice. Nor can it be ended by choice. A mother remains a mother period. There’s nothing you can do to change that, even if you will it so. A husband-wife/romantic relationship is different in this regards. It starts by one’s choice, it can be ended by one’s choice. That’s why it is dynamic, cos it CAN change. And if it doesn’t change, its because the two people in it strive to preserve it. Not because it effortlessly remains that way.

[gvenum & U Totally Rock Dude] Over to gvenum’s blog for more comments on this! (Boy do I write a lot of comments or what! :) )

[Anirudh] I think the ‘other ways of expressing affection besides directly saying it’ is something everyone does, men and women alike. In fact, to most people its the not-so-obvious ways that always remain more special. The old adage of ‘actions speak louder than words’ is indeed very true, in this case.

A Relationship Theory’s Value is inversely proportional to the generality of it.Every relationship has its own nuances and subteleties that can never be consistently captured in any single theory.

Having said that we all understand that a relationship is interesting exactly because of all the differences between X and Y chromosomes.

I think the most succesful relationships create a bond that has “Synergy” (where 1+1 > 2..I dont mean children BTW).Definitely a relationship involves some trade-offs on each one’s part.Some view this as taking away certainpart of the edge. You give away a certain piece of yourself gladly if you could see the whole picture but thats not always the case and hence difficulties in getting along.The myopic tunnel vision of one of the partners could lead the break-up.If only they could see and NOT observe…

I dont know whether it is the way for men as described in the article, maybe it is. Personally, for me it isnt. I think its a lovely guesture. Everybody needs reassurance from time to time, and there’s nothing like telling your loved ones you love them to make them feel cherished.

Oops, long post. Megha, I like the way you put words to your thoughts.