The one that got away!

There is something about giving out handfuls of cavity-causing, high-in-sugar blobs of candy to unsuspecting children with angelic smiles that automatically makes one feel like the devil on Halloween without having to dress up as one. On that cheerful note, here’s a heartbreaking story —

It all began on Halloween 2003. During the usual trick or treat merriment, a bunch of kids came by — a dragon, a cowboy, a fairy and a bright green M&M. The hero of the story is the last kid in this bunch, a most remarkable seven-year old named Kyle. Here was a kid who clearly hated the concept of dressing up as anything other than himself and was making this displeasure most apparent with a scowl on his face akin to that of the mob-boss’s sidekick in a Hindi film. Now I’m pretty sure Kyle doesn’t watch Hindi films, but he’s got a good backup career if he ever needs one. But I digress.

While the other kids happily took candy by the bagfuls, Mr Green M&M sulked in the corner until his mom (the chaperone) shoved him to the front. The conversation went something like this —

Me: Hello, what’s your name?
He: *mumble mumble*
His mom (background): Tell the lady your name!
He: Kyle..
Me: Hello Kyle, what are you dressed up as? (Yes it was apparent, but I asked anyway)
He: Can’t you tell! *scowl*
Me: *chuckle* Okay, here’s your candy!
He: I don’t want any!
Me: Okay? You sure?
He: Yeah.. I don’t want any!
Me: Okie. Have fun trick or treating!
(exit M&M, fairy, cowboy, dragon and M&M’s mom)

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang. It’s my favorite kid in the world, again.

Me: Hello?
He: I changed my mind. I think I’ll take the candy..
Me: Sure! *dump a bunch of candy into his bag*
He: Thanks.. *gives me a moderately long ‘what’s-up-with-this-girl’ look*
He: You’re cute!
Me: Huh?
(Kyle scampers off)

Yes, rather interesting. Three days later, I run into Kyle on the street. He on his bike, me walking to my car.

(Kyle slows down his bike on seeing me)
He: Hey!
Me: *cheerily* Hi Kyle! How are ya!
He: Am cool..
Me: Having fun with your friends? (Yes, I’m not very creative in my conversations with seven-year olds)
He: Yeah.. *walks away a little and turns around again*
He: Hey, I think you’re cute. I’d ask you out, but you’re too old for me.
Me: *an expression on my face that is impossible to describe in words — a mix of shock, amusement and horror, mostly*
Me: Huh?
He: Yeah..
Me: Yeah? *putting on the best disappointed expression I could possibly muster* Don’t worry about it, I understand..

So that was that. Dumped even before I got asked out. Quite a heartbreaking episode. The emotional scars will surely remain. Anyhoo, so as you can imagine, with Kyle still living in the neighborhood, I was looking forward to Halloween this year. Surely enough he showed up last night, all of eight years old and dressed as a vampire no less. (a costume choice far more suited to his personality than the cute green M&M from last year, if you ask me).

Me: Hello Kyle! Happy Halloween!
He: Hi..
Me: Nice costume!
He: It’s cool eh?
Me: Yeah!
He: You’re cool too!
Me: Huh? Thanks! (*chuckle from last year returns*)
He: I wanted to ask you out, but I asked my mom and she said you’re too old for me.

It took all the strength in the world not to fall over and roll with laughter. Apparently Kyle went home and told mom — ‘maa, maine ladki pasand kar li hai‘ but she disapproved! *SOB* Two Halloweens, two heartbreaks, same guy! There is no justice in this world, I tell ya!

31 thoughts on “The one that got away!

  1. Megha

    I am gonna steer clear of him on V-day. My heart is too weak to withstand this torture a third time! Vampires and candy can no longer be trusted! :>

  2. iii

    lol…look what you have done…you have opened up pandora’s box with this post! All the admirers whose existence, you always deny, are coming out … am sure there are more closet admirers :->
    Wonder if the biggest admirer ( I hope you remember who) reads your blogs!!!
    Ok no throwing imaginary daggers or for that matter real ones, at me …the million dollar question of the week in boston..(no not the us president) is kaun banega “cloud”pati?
    My bet is on kyle! any takers?
    Disclaimer: I kid.. folks dont take me seriously :-)

  3. Maddy

    LoL LoL … he he he, I just could not stop rolling in laughter. I wonder what Kyle’s mom must have gone through … LoL … but worry not Megha … I hereby proclaim … Megha re megha re … kabhi to nazar milao :)

  4. Ekta

    haha!
    hey megs..hilarious one!
    cliuldnt stop laughing aloud..just imagining ur expression everytime u had a conversation with the kid..heheh..STUMPED!:-)

  5. Nilu

    OMG!

    He seems to be a good’ one. Don’t Let go!!.

    He is smart, funny, forthright, cute by your own admission, young(!!) and not a Desi who would expect Dosas from his wife/GF.

  6. Megha

    People people people.. *shakes head in disbelief and disappointment* .. I narrate a tale of my woes and you all [Rajesh, gvenum, Jupe, Mustang, Padmanabhan, iii, Maddy] go and derive delirious joy and kicks at my expense? Tsk tsk. No offering of tissue, no suggesting you’ll play matchmakers, nothing? Hmpfh.

    aNTi, I know positive thinking is important at such times, but keeping my options open for 20 years from now? That’s too depressing to even think about. Although I did like how Nilakantan looked at Kyle’s potential. No more need to learn making perfectly-holey dosas … hmmm!

    Yeah Ekta, kids have an amazing ability to leave you speechless, don’t they!

  7. Rajesh J Advani

    > No offering of tissue,

    Here. Blow your nose.

    Um… no. I don’t need that back.

    > no suggesting you’ll play
    > matchmakers, nothing?

    What? Why in the world would we play matchmaker?!

    Isn’t there enough of a dearth of single women in this world? Why would we go and try to set up one of the last few with the competition (read as interesting younger men)?!?! We might as well sign the “Celibacy for Life” pledge!

  8. Megha

    [Hitanshu] Am sure there are people out there who are thankful about that! :)

    [Hawkeye] I wish! Truth is indeed stranger (and funnier) than fiction!

  9. QuaTros

    Now take this! My niece of 3 years, insists that she is the only girl friend I’ve got and ahem, I’ve got to wait till she’s old enought to get married to her! :-))

    Nice blog Megha.

  10. Megha

    [QuaTros] How sweet :) Thanks for dropping by and do visit again!

    [Matter of Choice] Nopes, but then again, I expect Kyle to resurrect only on Halloween, so I’ll update you in October ;) Thanks for dropping by. Hope to see you around on some of the new posts in the future!

  11. Pingback: A walk in the clouds.. » My so-called life

  12. TP

    Your imagination and SOH is hilarious:) Really enjoyed going through your blog. Drop in sometime if you can spare 5 minutes.

  13. Maya

    hey

    Kyle sounds so cute.
    Sometimes i think living in India has ruined romance for me, here even
    20+ burly uncle-looking guys cant ask us out.. and look at this kid. BRAVO !!!

    Guys here need to take inspiration form an 8 yr old.

  14. tic-tac toe

    She was a cute girl, everyone admired her sweet voice, tender nature and her deep eyes. He was an ordinary guy, nobody ever took notice of him.
    He loved her more than he could have loved anybody else ever, he could wait for hours just to get a glimpse of her, he would remember even the minutiae details of every chit-chat they had months ago, he believed he could do anything and everything for her…..
    He couldn’t express a bit of his feelings and she seemed to have none.
    One day in a casual manner she expressed her admiration for a writer, he listened to it as intently as ever, noticing every movement in her face, her admiration(he thought)deep eyes….. and decided that this is the destiny this is his chance his only goal….and he delivered.

    He became one of the most famous writers of his time, his fame spread far and wide, he was acclaimed by intellectuals and laymen alike, people idolized him……

    After a few years they met again…. he talked about his experiences, his novels, and his visits to places far and wide, she was awed, she told about her life… her mundane life.
    They bid goodbye to each other, she went home feeling proud about knowing someone so great personally and often narrated her faint(often exaggerated ) memories of him.
    He went home cursing himself that the meeting ever took place, he couldn’t connect the image of that angel so clearly engraved in his mind to this day with the person he just met, he was ashamed…..
    ( Inspired by Oscar Wilde)

  15. samir

    Very endearing. I totally understand how Kyle must have felt.

    Miss Moner was our teacher in grade 1 (class 1). Since I was her favourtite student and quite lovable, she used to hug and kiss me a lot. At one such occasion I mustered up the courage to tell her “U need to stop doing that.”
    “Why?” she asked innocently.
    “Because people will think that u and i are seeing each other.”
    Needless to say she was flabbergasted. Now I have the feeling that that incident must have ended up in her blog like your’s did. :)
    do visit my blog sometime. i got’ve the feeling u’ll find it ………….. thought-provoking.
    http://in-search-of-the-answers-to-life.blogspot.com/

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