Monday, June 27, 2005
Navel-gazing aka ‘Main Shilpa Shetty Banna Chahti Hoon’
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Serious short stories and intellectual book tags might give us the pretense of respectability, but one should never forget one’s humble beginnings. What is the blog’s real USP?, we asked ourselves, and on not finding an answer, in sheer desperation, asked Ajmeri Baba, while he was in town to solve the problems of the world. And his voice echoed through the corridors of the empty Hyatt Regency ballroom with the resounding answer — ‘Bachcha, it is a very special brand of mindless nonsense mixed with pseudo-seriousness. That is what you do best.‘ Humbled by his gyaan and out of gratitude for the man, we promptly suggested a tagline for his business — ‘Aaj-meri baba, kal teri baba‘. Alas, he failed to see the brilliance of it. Hmpfh. Oh well.
When I started my blog, I imagined it to be a place where I could be myself without letting the role I was playing, influence it. No compulsions to be the exasperating daughter, annoying sister, curious friend or nosy neighbor. Just my thoughts, expressed my way.
I thought a blog resolved the dichotomies we face as individuals. It blurred the lines between what we revealed to people and what we hid from them. We no longer separated our public and private lives. A blog overlapped these spaces to an extent. If Rao sir from class VI were present here, he would have interjected with — ‘Waitt, aii weel yekshplain with pickchar. You seeee, the red circle is public space. Blue circle, private space. And intersection set — purple flower petal shape, that is a blog.‘ Yes, we had a lot of bahaaron phool barsaao-ing in classes VI and VII. But you get the drift.
But now, as time has passed, I am more aware of the fact that I don’t always shoot my mouth off and say things like I was sharing a private thought with myself. When someone pisses me off, I don’t tell them how I’d like to boil them in oil, hang them upside down from a tree, paint them like a voodoo doll and do an African victory dance chanting —? jumbaaye agumbaye yaa aaygo aaygo aaygo. I visualize it in Eastmancolor, with twenty-four track stereophonic sound. I imagine being dressed like Sridevi in a jungle outfit, with a hibiscus phulwa coyly tucked in my hair, fluttering my two-inch long eyelashes while I do the dance. But, but, but — I don’t express it. Instead, I find myself thinking before I write, because I know I am being read and watched. So the dichotomy, albeit a different kind, is still in place.
In that sense, a blog is not just an online journal. As bloggers, we don’t simply write. We write for an audience. It doesn’t mean we necessarily pander to them. Well, sometimes we do, but that’s just because we luuuve you, don’t we precious? But we write, hoping to be read and knowing we are being read. Every blogger, no matter what they say, started their site because they want other people to read what they have to say. So, say what you will about ‘self-expression‘ and give the highfalutin spiel about how ‘I write only to give vent to my own feelings, I don’t care if anyone reads it‘ but at the end of the day, a blog is not just about introspection, it is also about performance. It isn’t navel-gazing alone, it is as much navel-baring.
So my conclusion — All bloggers hope to be Shilpa Shetty one day. Wait, I will yekshplain. This time, sadly, not with pickchar. You see, bloggers are like the sidey extras dancing behind the heroine in a Hindi film. The heroines, of course, are the A-list bloggers, while the sideys behind them are the ones hoping to make it big someday. So that brigade of tummy-baring starlets dancing behind the heroine — that’s us. Yes, this includes you men too. You wear those clingy transparent black shirts and dance in studio rain, so you’re just as bad. We’re all in the same boat. A bunch of bloggers, diligently baring our navels and souls, each hoping to get noticed, hoping to be the next Shilpa Shetty. Aw c’mon lets face it, when it comes to navel-baring, there’s not many who do a better job than her. Wot say?
Me in a clingy transparent black shirt? Really? *shudder*
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 12:31 AM
To me blogs are like trailers…. a bit of action,suspense,song&dance,juicy navel baring and mirch-masaala …
).( just baring mine too!!
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 12:41 AM
and I was contemplating seriously about responding to your book tag…navel baring ..hmm put that way…naah dont think anyone would want to see mine ..
am glad I covered up six months back ;-) pulling a sweat shirt over just to be sure…
…*triumphant grin* (wiggled out of a tag)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 1:41 AM
and we thought that salman, sunju baba (and now even shah rukh) were better off at the navel baring routine. can’t really help it if ‘we’ men just pursue the task with gusto! ;)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 1:45 AM
Oh! and yeah nice little dancing anime straight outta tamil(replace with your language) horror movie..am in so love with that little devil..does she have a suitor or can I claim her?
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 1:46 AM
You must be terribly modest to think of yourself as some sort of an extra! :) You are pretty much a *star* blogger, if ever there was one!
And Shilpa Shetty as the ultimate symbol of aspiration?! Ewwww, didn’t every instinct of yours holler?! :) Or may be it’s the staying away from home syndrome which has bitten you, which says that, ‘Thou Shall throng a Greatest hits of Bappi Lahiri concert!”
And I loved Rao sir… I went through all of school with such teachers, replace Southie accent with a Bong one though! :)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 1:50 AM
Damn you ! I wanted to blog about all this !! And double damn that you did such a good job too !! Now I have to wait for atleast a month for people to forget that you wrote this and write my own blog post about blogging ;)
And what about commenting ? Isn’t the presense of comments alone on someone’s blog enough indication that there is some level of pandering to the readers going on there ? I mean, if you were writing ONLY for self expression and all that, then why have comments right ?
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 6:42 AM
The mental image of you dressed like Sridevi in a jungle outfit complete with hibiscus and two-inch long eyelashes and dancing to “jumbaaye agumbaye yaa aaygo aaygo aaygo” reminds me of a certain Telugu pot-boiler from the early 90s.
A bunch of bloggers, diligently baring our navels and souls
I also take exception to the apparent claim that a man’s soul is represented by “wet clingy transparent black shirts”!
And who ever told you that Shilpa Shetty is the goddess of the navel? :p
First of all, navel gazing is so passe. And have you ever seen Sridevi dancing to “Kaate Nahin Kat Te Yeh Din” in Mr.India. No one can ever beat that.
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 10:18 AM
Yes.. Please.. thank you.
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 10:34 AM
Oooooh… that was soooo “Jerry McGuire” :P .
Me thinks…..even better than the original:)
But consider this, My personal blog had its first post day before yesterday and its first comment yesterday, so I guess I’m on the waiting list, to be an extra,
in a crowd scene,
and taking dance classes so that I can someday fulfil my dream of joining Saroj Khan’s troupe, and God willing be able to share a couple of frames with an A lister:)
I have my own opinions on Shilpa Shetty and her navel, but I shall keep them to myself since the wife seems to have taken a liking to your blog.
BTW mucho gracias for doing the honors and being first:)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 10:55 AM
haha!! Interesting concept!! :)
Really love ur blog! I’ve added you as one of my regularly read blogs. Check mine out and add me too :d
www.hotcuppa.blogspot.com
Ciao!!
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 11:34 AM
Echoos me pliss! I strongly object to this youvar haanar! Shilpa Shetty no! Sri Devi yes! Black transparent shirt and dancing in rain? Noooo! *runs away to delete his blog*
On a serious note, I love the part where u say “how I’d like to boil them in oil, hang them upside down from a tree, paint them like a voodoo doll and do an African victory dance chanting — jumbaaye agumbaye yaa aaygo aaygo aaygo.”.. ishmaal thingy — Me does it on my crappy blog ;)
And on an even more serious note, you ARE Shilpa Shetty in the blogworld, while me is still trying to become “an extra” in it :D..
On a much more serious note (No, I’m not *that* serious to be in an ICU yet), I agree with you on the part that bloggers consider their audience before posting. However, as always the case with “the exception that disproves the rule”, there is me. (just kidding, me not serious at all).
So, for fear of being cursed with bad VooDoo by you for posting such a long comment, i shall stop for now. You may yell at me if/when you are irritated or use an african rain dance ;) Peace out girl! And as an ending note (exasperated now are we?) me will always be dropping by and annoying you here. why you ask? I love to take a walk in the clouds. (can you *even* feel the iceberg on top of your head? yes, me is placing it there. thankoo)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 11:49 AM
if u r an extra, then what would you call people like me who just comment on such blogs???? Make-up people for the extras, I guess…
And it is my dream that some day I shall get to put make-up for the Shilpa Shetty types…..
‘Main Shilpa Shetty ka make-upper banana chahta hoon’
Nice blog with graphics….
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 12:44 PM
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 2:00 PM
hmm. You like to kill with taste ! Quote “boil them in oil”. Deep Fry I guess. That whole sridevi sequence reminds me of “maar diya jaaye, ke chor diya jaaye..”
I would agree and confess that I’ve at times been baring, but then I’ve also realized that all calls for “Save me” usually result in the loss of one more apple. But still, like many others, I like apples and to loose apples, because an apple a day keeps..
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 2:37 PM
*OUCH!!!*
-Clutches at general region below the belt, rolls eyes, sees stars and chirping birdies, and rolls over dead.-
The one about people being speechless was especially vicious. :P
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 2:43 PM
Shilpa Shetty –> Makeup artist of SS –> Gyrating extra behind SS –> Makeup artist of gyrating extra behind SS.
And then there’s me: Dabba-wala to makeup artist of gyrating extra behind Shilpa Shetty.
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 2:55 PM
[anshul] Now that you mention it, doesn’t Sridevi do her own version of maar diya jaaye ke chhod diya jaaye in the parody song of Lamhe? And yes, that is exactly the effect I was hoping for :) And so much talk of apples? And I thought Florida’s navel oranges is what were famous! Unless ‘Save me’ translated to ‘Seb me’ and I totally missed the pun ;)
On a sidenote - the key, i’ve been told, is to find a pretty doctor :)
[Devdutt] Awww, I thought the ‘I’m on the waiting list, to be an extra, in a crowd scene‘ classification was rather unfair so I thought you’d feel better being Rituparno Ghosh! Tchah! Neki karo aur gaali khaao :) And please to not miss my stereotyping. I chose a Bong artsy director (as opposed to a Mallu one) cos you hail from an Eastern Indian state :) :D
[Rajesh] Awww! That was tooo cute! :) I now have this image of this sad lil tiffin-dabba holding pillu named Raju who sits starry-eyed outside the trailer of the makeup artist of the gyrating extra behind Shilpa Shetty. In his spare time (while the gyrating and make-upping happens) he writes wonderful lil love stories that become famous in the blogosphere. But to the filmi-world he remains - apna Raju.
Hmm, that would be a nice title for a movie made on the life of Raju. Total artsy-fartsy types, with long still shots of Raju sitting lost in thought, with some major film studio in the background. Total contrasts of creativity types. One bright and ostentatious, one literary. Oooh, I am liking my idea more and more! And I know just the blogger who should make that artsy movie. Is our resident Rituparno Ghosh listening? ;)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 3:16 PM
Me is flattered by her Highness’ reply. (Yes, steam-roller run over kind of flattering!) Me never scares people into witness protection programs. why? Muhahahaha *villian ishtyle laugh* Me never leaves witnesses :D Honestly, there were a couple of times I considered my audience and was shocked to see that you were not among them, so I did what I had to do. I doused them with Napalm and got rid of them. heheheh! speaking of Voodoo, who can beat the queen of Voodoo who wears a good hair-do and walks on a cloud singing dum-di-dum-di-dum-di-doo .. ;)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 3:48 PM
Yup, I was thinking of Kshana Kshanam?
Though i did not know for sure from which movie that stupid chanting was from. It was from Kshana Kshanam right? Hmmm, i see that my knowledge of Telugu movies can still match up.
And as for the Shetty babe, I think she is passe too. I heard there are are newer ladies in town! Not that i am looking, but information is wealth, dont you think?
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 3:50 PM
:) Loved the ‘African victory dance’ part. Reminds me of a short story by David Morrel.
btw, Great Post :)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 4:09 PM
that was one of the best posts i have read in recent times on blogs. very very very very well written and it had so many smal gems that together made one big sparkle :) *i write all this while i wait for the actor in leather tights to return back for his shot as we extras sip nariyel paani*
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 5:08 PM
A better title for your artsy-fartsy movie - Raju Ban Gaya Shilpa Shetty.
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 6:02 PM
[Sriram] Ooh, now THAT was a darn good one. I don’t scare them into the WPP cos I don’t leave any witnesses! Niiice! :) And wears a good hair-do and walks on a cloud singing dum-di-dum-di-dum-di-doo .. Oh the horror! Eeesh! Just for that, you are hereby forbidden to complain about any of my PJs ever again! :)
[aNTi] Yes, Jumbaye is very much from Kshana Kshanam, so you can pat yourself on the back. I have it from reliable sources though that the song was copied from an African number. I Googled but couldn’t find the source online, but i’ll ask around and confirm.
My personal vote in the navel-baring department, goes to Antara Mali. I think the piercing works most nicely :) Not that you are looking, but just sharing information ;)
[Kumari] Hey, look who’s around again! Is good to see you! :) And thank you! No idea about the short story, btw. What’s it called?
[Sagnik] Aww .. leather tights .. now THAT is what I was forgetting! I knew the clingy transparent shirt image was lacking *something*, but I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what it was. No no, I wasn’t imagining them sideys without pants, not to worry, I just didn’t think of the black, tight and leather part. Much thanks! I knew I could always count on one sidey extra to help out another ;)
[VC] Ooh, I like! :) And this only gets better! I now have this image of Raju, the tiffin-dabba kid, who writes love stories by the light of the street lamp, and then to make ends meet, part-times as a cross-dressing Shilpa Shetty-wannabe!
Profuse apologies Rajesh. I can only imagine how painful this must be for you. Have I made you regret writing that love story yet? ;)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 6:32 PM
*me sizzling to a crisp*
Would you like catsup or imli chutney with that?
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 6:55 PM
[Sivani] Partial to imli. But what did I do? :)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 7:32 PM
Megha / VC: Raju Ban Gaya Shilpa Shetty! :O
Rja: we shouldn’t have agreed to do that rain dance! The rain dance seems to have so far led to “transparent black shirts in studio rain” and now this play on ur name! And I don’t even want to bring up that reference to your dress sense!
You shld probably fwd this lady a few email bombs or best write a story casting her as the evil vamp with two-inch long candy red eyelashes and equally long fingernails painted black ;)
Oh god, this mental image i am getting is making me go ROTFL! Incidentlly, I happened to see Chaalbaaz last weekend! Rohini Hattangadi as Amba! LMAO!
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 8:22 PM
[Megha] Awww… how essh the kween of Pj taking offense at a commoner’s attempt? Ain’t there not justice? Wait,,, actually there isn’t but what the heck.. me will complain as always ;)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 10:45 PM
[aNTi] Ah Chaalbaaz, one of my favorite movies of all times! Now i’m thinking of the endless list of endearingly nonsensical moments in the film -
* Sridevi’s main madira nahin peeti ji.
* Sridevi’s Jaggu-ji.
* Rajni’s little ditty - aaj Sunday hai, aaj Sunday hai, to din mein daroo peene ka day hai .. just before he ends up drinking ghaslet :)
* One word - Balllllllma!
* Rajni’s - abe teri maa ki aaNk in that beautiful Southie accented Hindi of his ;) Yes, aaNk, not the generic aankh. Justice cannot be done to the aaNk by typing it. It has to be spoken :)
* The entire na jaane kahaan se aayi hai song sequence.
* Sridevi’s bhikaari baba moment during the above song.
* The following scene - Sunny Deol and Sridevi sharing a sweet moment when he’s supposedly sick and staying over -
Sunny holds her close
Sridevi: *coy giggle* chhodo na ..
Sunny: *grin* nahin ..
Sridevi: *coy giggle again* chhodo na ..
Sunny: *lets go of her*
Sridevi: *muttering* dhat teri ki .. chhod diya!
The list goes on and on .. :)
Wait, you thought of Amba when you thought of me with two-inch long eyelashes and painted fingernails!? Oh you bad bad man! :)
[Sriram] Taking offense? Who said anything about taking offense? I whine and complain because it is, as Lokmanya Tilak so eloquenty put it, my janm-siddhha adhikaar thank you very much :) And justice? What’s that? ;)
Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 11:25 PM
> Just my thoughts, expressed my way.
Well, You have succeeded :)
I am waiting for a day where the word “blog” is replaced by something more meaningful.
>it is as much navel-baring.
Thats a revelation (no pun !)
Great to have you back from the vacation!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 1:03 AM
I hate to say it but…I agree with what you said :-)
Damn I had no idea navel bearing could be so much fun
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 2:58 AM
Sorry that was supposed to be navel baring…
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 3:06 AM
ya thats true. I started my blog just to be read. And when initially i didnt got readers, i visited others blogs & posted few comments, and then like an intelligent DEVIL said : ” If u have time, could u check out on mine plz”. :P
And the navel stuff. ya shilpa has got good one .but there r others as well :P
And to say more : DESH main BARSAAT has started. ITs cool now……..
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 3:51 AM
You wear those clingy transparent black shirts and dance in studio rain
What me?? Noways…I’d rather be dressed in yellows dancing behind Govinda thrusting my pelvis like Elvis!!
A Aa E Ee Ooo Mera Dil Na Todo
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 4:33 AM
I already have a black transparent shirt. And a white one too. When should I wear them? It’s raining here right now…
You should put more photos up on your blog. You take good ones.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 6:04 AM
*Points and laughs*
Oh wait, I’m an extra too.
*Bares navel, runs away to point and laugh from a distance*
(Loved the post, Megha. Even if you decline the Shilpa Shetty title, I must say that your navel is far nicer than ours and warrants MUCH more attention.)
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 7:20 AM
That is ‘Dark Evening’ - a collection of short stories by David Morrel and all of them are dark ones. This part. story is about a man refusing to believe in the witch doctor’s rain dance n what happens thereafter :) Nice read tho after Roald Dahl.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 9:33 AM
Wait, you thought of Amba when you thought of me with two-inch long eyelashes and painted fingernails!? Oh you bad bad man! - Not the generic Amba from the whole movie, but the Amba specifically from the scene where Saeed Jaffery and Anupam Kher are talking over the phone just after Amba has caught Manju/Anju using her make-up!
And btw, isn’t it “aaj Sunday hai, aaj Sunday hai, to din mein daroo peene ka din hai”???? Heck, have to go and watch it again!
And oh, you forgot - Naaaaaansense after Jaggu comes back after the “Yeh Manju hai, crack hai” exchange with the head constable!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 10:24 AM
[Megha] Men are better at navel-baring, you say? YES
Are you telling me that you’d rather watch Salman or Sunju take off their transparent shirts rather than gaze at Sridevi or Shilpa Shetty? NO.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 10:32 AM
*In a daze*
Tight black transparent shirts.
Black leather tights. *shudder*
Tiffin-dabba holding kid standing outside trailer of makeup artist with two-inch long candy red eyelashes and equally long fingernails painted black, doing a raindance.
Cross-dressing like Shilpa Shetty.
Shilpa Shetty!!!
*Sits under streetlight in the pose of The Thinker.*
What will life bring me next?
*Pencil with broken point sits on notepad with half-finished story*
Hope it includes sharpeners.
*Watching a sequin on the much-worn Shilpa Shetty outfit fall to the ground*
And a new dress.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 12:44 PM
Another loooong comment response. Boy do I talk a lot, or what? Tsk tsk.
[Paddy] You have an issue with the word ‘blog’ eh? :) I kinda like the whole ‘blob’ like feel it has. Like this big dumping ground of all the junk in your mind. Although, slowly, that is not turning out to be the case. And that would have been a nice pun, had it been one!
It’s good to be back :)
[Saraansh] Ah, glad you agree ;) And glad you dropped by and left a comment too. Hope to see you around again :)
[Anuj] Yes, one of the oldest trick in the book :) Bombard other blogs with comments until they feel guilted into coming over to yours and commenting. But the catch is - that works only the first time. After that, what keeps them coming back to read your blog, is your own writing. At least that’s what one hopes! :)
[Mustang] Okie, you can have your yellow with Govinda if you prefer that. I am not picky. But here’s a thought. As a Govinda extra you are sure to star in Anari No 1 (1999) in that most bootiful song - main laila laila chillaunga, kurta phaad ke. During that some generous yellow kurta-tearing will happen, yes? At *that* point at least, wear the clingy black transparent shirt, please? Thank you :)
[Anurag] Ah looks like the planets are all aligning nicely for your navel-baring-in-the-rain! Go for it pronto, I say! Not to wait for muhurat-wuhurat and all :) Black or white, I of course, leave upto you. And thank you for the photos! Will try to post them more often. Glad you stopped by and commented and hope to see you around again :)
[a-hem] Eeesh, now we’re doing navel-comparing? Oh the horror of it all! *shudder* And I have only myself to blame for this, am sure! Glad you liked the post :)
[Kumari] Ah sounds interesting! I do enjoy Dahl, so will definitely check out Morrell. A visit to the library is long pending, so looks like I will have to do the deed after all :)
[aNTi] Yes yes, I realized it was that exact moment. When Anupam Kher shrieks into the phone and scares Saeed Jaffrey. That is what makes you an ever badder man! :) Btw, Rajni sings both your version and mine, so we’re both right. And how could I forget ‘naaaaaaansense’. Bread-intelligence, as I prefer to call it. *ducks for cover*
[Dharmendra] Er D, you just confessed that you thought Salman and Sanju did the navel-baring better than the women. So what’s the deal then? :)
[Rajesh] The Save Apna Raju Foundation is a non-profit organization created to help generate enough moolah so the movie on Raju’s life can be made and his angst-filled story be told to the rest of the world. All profits from this movie will be directed towards helping Raju and other tiffin-dabba folks like him who slip through the cracks of the film world. (Profits? Who are we kidding? It is going to be an artsy-fartsy movie!)
As I write this, a wishlist is being prepared to be sent to the foundation. Please to make any changes you want so I can forward it -
* 4 black transparent shirts (they get wet in the rain, so I figured some spares would help)
* 2 black leather tights
* 2 pairs of candy-red eyelashes
* 1 bottle of black waterproof nailpolish
* Jazzy glittery lipstick to match, no color preference
* Mirror
* Salem Stainless Steel tiffin-dabba (minimum 4 compartments) - Export Quality
* Notepads
* Pencils
* Sharpener
* New dress
* Spare sequins for quick repairs when needed
* Tortoise mosquito coil (for sitting under street lamp) (I didn’t suggest Good Knight cos you won’t have electricity)
Anything else? Peoples, please to contribute to this wonderful cause. Thank you.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 2:50 PM
Artsy fartsy – my ass (oops, that came out all wrong!).
I say there should be 4 different overlapping storylines.
1) Cross-dressing Raju and his desire to make it big in the literary world without selling out.
2) Laloo Prasad Yadav and his obsessive compulsive desire for Shilpa Shetty after her UP-Bihar lootofying.
3) Sultry CBI special agent Preeti Talwar, who tries to convince Raju to help her make her case against Laloo in a multi-million dollar scam, but finds herself falling for Raju’s idealism instead.
4) Shilpa Shetty herself, who sees Raju and narcissistically falls for him. (Nice metaphor for Showbiz in general. Will be beaten to death in the DVD commentary)
It all comes together in the climax when Laloo is arrested in a sting operation involving Raju dancing to “Dilwalon ke Dil ka Karaar Lootne…”
Preeti and Shilpa shoot each other over Raju.
Raju lands a multi-million dollar book deal and is currently negotiating movie rights with Johnny Depp.
All story lines will have different tinted lenses to suit their respective atmospheres.
The movie will have extensive use of jump cuts. The interval between each cut will be in sync with a Rob Zombie track.
Also mandatory is the extensive use of hand-held shaky cam work and Sync Sound.
Sleeper hit. 150 mill worldwide, 150 more in sales and show me the Oscars Baby!!!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 4:24 PM
Keeping in view that “amchi mumbai” is the only place this can happen, lets throw in few other things for SARF(Save Raju……)
Thingy-1)”baarish shoes”,
Thingy-2) Chadi’s for mumbai rain.
Thingy-3)”6:47am fast local” train passes.
Thingy-4) A photocopy of Shakti kapoor’s fav wishlist and his daily planner.
Will post again, if I can think of more.
Jokes apart, though the post’s hilarious comparision of one’s reasons of blogging to Shetty babe’s navel baring might take little bit of the shine of the point you tried to make, it’s quite true.
Even though we may not had the same view when westarted off, I think most of us write blogs to be read. I have seen blogs where they viciously claim to be writing for themselves and what not. If that’s the case, I don’t see a reason enabling the comments section and “Web hit counters”. And above all, its quite funny to see them commenting/complaning about bloggers blogging for comments.
In my case, I like to write and I like people to read and give comments. As your post points out, blogs are like celebrities. One day you may be “apna raju” , the other day you may be like “shilpa shetty”(not literally though:))
and if you are not responsible you will be like “Shakti kapoor”.(assuming he made a mistake in the whole casting-couch drama)
Long comment khatham!!! oimaa!! its quite contagious.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 4:53 PM
*Holding little golden man at awards ceremony*
First of all, I would like to thank my father and mother for supporting me in my decision to make a career out of dabba-delivery. Without them I would never have been here. I must not forget pillu and billa the street-dog and street-cat that followed me on my rounds. They were my only real friends that early in my career.
I must make special mention of three important people in my life.
[Megha], for helping me get a second job as a cross-dressing Shilpa Shetty wanna-be. Before I got that job, I’d write my stories in the sand on chowpatty beach. God kept erasing them with the waves, so I had gathered that He must think I was not very good. As a cross-dresser though, I could afford to buy pencils and paper. She also gave me dreams of being a movie star. Or at least a writer whose stories would one day be stolen by Bollywood producers.
[aNTi], for telling me that my life was meant for more than just cross-dressing, and for reading some of my stories.
[DevDutt], my wonderful director for giving me such a wonderful role in his movie. And also for introducing me to Shilpa Shetty, my role model.
Let me not forget all you movie-goers out there who watched my movie. One of you must come and visit me sometime and tell me the story. With all the book contracts and talk-show interviews, I haven’t had time to watch it myself.
Thank You.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 4:57 PM
This must be the most hilarious comment section ever!
[Rja]: Seriously, more than reading your stories, i have fwded it to a zillion gals i know ;)
[Megha]: First, BAT for BAT and now SARF! You must have a organizational streak in you! But I take umbrage at the use of the phrase “artsy-fartsy”! It reeks!
[Gvenum]: Entraaa, Chiru anna degara nundi horoscope/contacts ochhinadha? ;).. ROTFL!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 6:08 PM
wasn’t that a description of the song “chali champuthunna…” from Kshna Kshnam? It made a good read.
The best part, i say, is the last paragraph. That holds good, i think, not just for blogs but for various other aspects in life.
Yeah… i guess you have moved from the side dancer role on to the centerstage, for i got this link as a forward saying that it would make a good read.
Congratulations.
Pip Pip,
Arvind
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 1:00 AM
tsk tsk. Totally mad girl! :p
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 1:23 AM
Megha, I beg to differ.
To me, a blog is a place where you can put in your most personal thoughts which the whole world can see and comment but at the same time remain totally anonymous. If I remember my Blog 101 correctly, a blogger should remain as anonymous as possible. I have never prepared a blog before publishing it. Simply log on and start typing. Maybe that is why I don’t attract many visitors or their comments!!
Yes, for people like you and Rajesh who are sort of a celebrity amongst us, blog is a forum to exhibit your creativity. We all love it and throng your sites in thousands! In fact, the first thing I do as soon as I log onto the net is to browse yours and Rajesh’s blog. Thanks for entertaining and keep those blogs comming! :)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 2:06 AM
*realising that the comments section is veering towards serious discussion of what a blog should be and feeling the need to take action*
[Megha & Rajesh]C’mon people. When you make an artsy-fartsy movie titled “RBGSS”, it should have absolutely, repeat, absolutely no mention of SS anywhere in the movie. SS is supposed to be a metaphor. People should die wondering what the SS metaphor stands for. Every pseud-critic worth his salt will praise the movie to the high heavens. Might even win the National Award or two.
Unlessssss……u want to sell out and make a crass commercial movie and rake in the crores and then complain about how you were forced to compromise on your artistic sensibilities…………..
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 12:17 PM
[Devdutt] That was a stroke of pure genius, I say! Total classic! I now know the movie is in very safe hands. No compromises on artistic integrity, and yet we will have a movie that will be seen by the world. Raju has hope still! *wipes a tear of happiness* Seriously, that was much fantastic! :)
[gvenum] Ah yes, I thought of the Shilpa Shettys and the extras, but I forgot the Shakti Kapoor angle completely. Lately I hear he’s been quoting Chaalbaaz’s gadbad ho gayi, seeti baj gayi a lot more. Hmm, I wonder why?
As for people who say they don’t write for the sake of comments, I think there are lots of bloggers like that, and I don’t think they are necessarily lying. There’s a difference between being interested in what people have to say in your commentspace and writing ONLY for comments sake. In both cases you keep your audience in mind, but in the latter, you pander to them, in my opinion.
ps .. What help would a chadi be in Mumbai rain? Were you by any chance, thinking of a chhaataa? :)
[Rajesh] *wipes another tear from eye* I’ve never seen an Oscar speech move me to tears before. But then again, nobody’s thanked poor ol’ me in a speech before, so perhaps that has something to do with it. But you are too kind. You deserve all the glory and accolades you get. And I look forward to seeing Apna Raju Tiffin Dabbas Inc.announce IPO in the news one day. *smiles a contented mentor-for-protege khush raho bachche types smile*
[aNTi] This comment section is seriously too cool no?! Creativity at its peak from peoples, and me is having a glorious time soaking it all in! Thank you to you all for that!
And yes, I am quite the organizational freak not to mention, I acronymize EVERYTHING. I have been known to annoy people by acronymizing single words even, so I do take things to extremes (as if that was not already apparent :) ) And hey, as most of these phrases I come up with go, they may be subtle or not-so-subtle, but they are very very intentional! ;)
[Arvind] Yes yes, very heavily inspired by Kshana Kshanam. I referred to that in the commentspace as well. But that was only the Sridevi, hibiscus and jumbaye part. The boil in oil, hang upside down from a tree was all original, thank you very much :) And yes, very well said. A lot of things that can be said about blogging extend to other aspects of life as well. This post link as a forward? Oh my! This is major! I wonder who the culprit might be? Do tell :)
[Anonymous] Thank you! You are very generous with your compliments ;)
[loverBoy] Hmm, I agree that blogging with an assumed name allows you more anonymity any day. But don’t you think, even there, once you know more people are reading what you write, your audience will affect your writing? I think it would. It is rather hard to completely eliminate external influences in one’s life, blogging-wise or other-wise, in my opinion. Somewhere, the perceptions people have of you do start to affect you. The key is to not compromise on who you are and what you write, and in theory - one shouldn’t be affected by what people say or think about you. But in reality, it isn’t so easy to separate the black from the white. Of course, that shouldn’t stop one from trying.
And thank you! That is a high compliment and I hope to continue writing and be deserving of it!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 12:53 PM
[VC] This comment should truly be directed at director-saab (who drives a Saab?) - [Devdutt]. You make an excellent point about Shilpa Shetty not being in the movie itself though. After all, where was Madhuri Dixit in MMDBCH? It is all about the unattainable dream and stuff like that. The monstrous glitter of the big city and film world gobbling up the small dreams of a small boy. A theme that has been flogged to death, yet it never fails.
But on the other side - when you have Shilpa Shetty dancing to ‘Dilwalon ke dil ka karaar lootne, main aayi hoon artistic sensibilities lootne‘ you really can’t say no, can you? ;)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 1:04 PM
[Megha, VC : ]
*Has the look of a man who wants to totally let loose at someone, but can’t, ‘coz that someone is paying for his movie. Finally settles for a Buddha on weed expression and shakes his head*
You said it - The monstrous glitter of the big city and film world gobbling up the small dreams of a small boy thingy is a theme that has been flogged to death .
Casting Shilpa (we’re on first name terms now), and making her fall in love with a male version of herself, allows the story to explore the self-adulatory and narcissistic tendencies that ail the showbiz stars of today. Our very own expose of sorts - a shot for the little man on the street if you will.
BTW, I drive a Honda Accord - Desi Software Engineer Edition, and I can’t believe, I am actually defending this movie…
…even after the Oscar nod :D
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 2:52 PM
[Devdutt] *innocent expression on face with angelic halo to boot* Who IS paying for this movie, I wonder? These producer folks can be the cause of much blood pressure rising no? My sympathies. And empathies. And telepathies. And Dalapathies too. Ah, that brings Rajni back into the discussion. I just love when all the dots connect. By the way, can we have him in the movie somewhere? Just asking, don’t go muttering curses pliss. Despite all your Honda affiliations, you remain our favorite director-Saab, so permissions need to be asked.
First name basis eh? Methinks the wife needs to have a dekho into the commentspace of this blog pronto. But yes, finding one’s aks (and axe) in one’s cross-dressing twin .. the face behind the facepaint .. I see where you are going with this, and this is definitely a less-flogged topic. Since I haven’t used this keyword yet, I shall use it now - total hatke :)
And in defense of your defense - it is apalling, but so soooo entertaining! Wouldn’t have it any other way :) Since when have Oscar nods been the true test of good moviemaking anyway?
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 3:26 PM
speaking of Rajini & Dalapathi - he DOES wear his shirt (at least in the Raakkammaa song) tied in a way conducive to navel-baring.
Dem dots are definitely connecting demselves here!!!!
Hey! Maybe we can have multiple metaphors for Shilpa Shetty. And title the movie ShilpaShetty ShilpaShetty ki ShilpaShetty banna chahti hai. Oh, sorry! Since [Devdutt] is directing, it shall be Shilpa Shilpa ki Shilpa banna chahti hai.
OK!! I promise. That is the last metaphor related comment from me….
And [Devdutt], in response to your I can’t believe, I am actually defending this movie - Seeeeee. This is what happens when you sell out and compromise on your AS (that’s Artistic Sensibilities)..
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 4:42 PM
Ya thats true. Its ur writing that attracts people. But i have been commenting on ur blog (though not bombarded) but u never visited :P
Do i write so bad (another emotionally blackmailing trick ;)).
And if u will not visit it even after this than may be i will give u : “DESH KI DUHAI”.
Whatever, i guess u can visit it once.
Thursday, June 30, 2005 @ 5:23 AM
jus hopping in to say hey!
Thursday, June 30, 2005 @ 5:13 PM
I can’t agree more. If someone truly wants to keep their thoughts private, a blog would pretty much be the last place to put them at. Consciously, sub-consciously or unconsciously every one that posts to a blog writes for an audience. The “My-blog-is-not-intended-for-an-audience” argument is a load of baloney….
And the analogy to navel-baring… very novel, very appropriate… and very disconcerting. I will never be able to look at a blog the same way again… :)
Thursday, June 30, 2005 @ 11:39 PM
well …well..
must say ‘first things first’ - am soooooooooo proud that u r from ‘my’ city :)))
n girl u do have a way with words.
the next thing is to let the cat out of the bag -I’d fwded ur blog to Arvind.
which brings me to the last point -the analogy to Miss.Shetty’s crowd pulling tactics is a gud one.
Thursday, June 30, 2005 @ 11:54 PM
interesting post…and wow…here’s a houseful of navel gazers in the comments!
[rajesh] the dabba-wala angle was hilarious!
Friday, July 1, 2005 @ 1:25 AM
How does it feel to be at the top?
Friday, July 1, 2005 @ 4:33 AM
aww… Swathi told you off is it? Smiles.
Arvind
Friday, July 1, 2005 @ 7:28 AM
So, are Blogs peep into a woman’s soul? Does Shilpa Shetty have a soul?
Friday, July 1, 2005 @ 11:27 PM
i’ve been bloggin for abt a yr n a half now and have had abt 6 blogs in all. each of which had a distinctive personality. and each time i felt i was being caged by the “person” on the blog, i started another one. n u know i think the trick is to never get to really know the ppl who visit u. when fellow bloggers assume real shapes, real names….thats when the trouble really begins if u ask me.also, i spose the idea is to have a coupla identities. one, where u can be nice to people (cos after all blog is ’society’ too) n another where u can indulge ur anti-social side n be as much a “blogsnob” as u choose to be.
oh btw, fellow gemini n all! belated happy budday:p
Saturday, July 2, 2005 @ 12:28 AM
[VC] :)
[Anuj] But ye point note kiya jaaye milord - just cos I haven’t commented doesn’t mean I haven’t visited your blog :)
[A. Diddy] Yello! How goes? :)
[Pushuka] Ah, good to know you agree. And just like you cannot look at a blog the same way, i’m guessing you won’t be able to look at navel-baring the same way either. Just imagine - you sit down to watch a nice Hindi item number. And when the sizzling starlet on screen does the standard navel routine, a fluorescent sign in your mind flashes ‘blog blog’ in neon pink. A perfectly good moment ruined eh? :) My apologies in advance! :)
[Swathi] Ah! A fellow Hyderabadi? How cool! :) And thank you much for the compliment! And for solving the mystery about the forward :)
[karan] Oh yes, and most of these navel-gazers are navel-barers too, lets not forget that :)
[Anonymous] Your question made me think of the TV ad in India for Melody Chocolates, where the adult asks - ‘Melody itnii chocolate-y kaise banii‘ and the pigtailed kid grins cheekily, pops a Melody chocolate in her mouth and replies - ‘Melody khaao, khud jaan jaao!‘ :)
[Arvind] My curiosity didn’t allow the mystery to linger too soon, I suppose :)
[Putative Insanity] I think they’re a peep into anybody’s soul, not just women’s. But only as much a peep as one chooses it to be. The baring or hiding happens by choice. Reminds me of a line from the Billy Joel number Always a woman - .. she only reveals what she wants you to see .. The lines are about a woman, of course, but the essence of it is true of people in general, I think.
Thanks for dropping in!
[liquid sunshine] That was very nicely put and I couldn’t agree with you more. The more ‘real’ your readers become to you, the less you can detach yourself from them. And without the detachment, their influence on your writing is inevitable. And I must say - all this talk of multiple blog identities, one social, one anti-social - spoken like a true Gemini! Happy belated birthday to you as well :) Good to see you around!
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 12:25 AM
The so called Shilpa Shettys have a limited life in the film world (3 - 5 years), after which they start acting as sisters and mothers or simply fade away from the film world.
Hence it better to be a group dancer so that u can have a longer life in the blog world.
came here via Blog Mela
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 2:57 AM
You are so cute!
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 7:17 AM
Ah..I agree. I particularly liked “We write for the audience but we don’t pander to them.” Good thinking…
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 9:24 AM
[Kaps] Interesting theory. I never looked at it like that, but very true! The extras are also more versatile I suppose, since they can morph into pretty much any role that’s thrown their way. So more power to them (and us)! Glad you dropped by :)
[Anonymous] :)
[IdeaSmith] Thank you! Nice to see you drop by :)
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 3:17 PM
It has been discovered that Megha is from the ice age. She is truly a T-rex hiding in a woman’s skin. (Yes, MIB - Part-1 shtyle) All donations to this discovery can be sent to the person who made this incredible break-thro–Me.. all insults and other missiles/objects may be thrown at a mirror. Thankoo one and all ;)
[Megha] - Sorry, had to say something.. was too bored today :D
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 6:24 PM
[Sriram] Damn! A secret that I guarded with my heart and soul is now on display on my blog! I feel worse than Shilpa Shetty. How could you Sriram, how could you!? Sigh ..
ps .. Why so bored? Long weekend no?
Sunday, July 3, 2005 @ 10:35 PM
[Megha] Aaaargh… now I can’t look at an item number the same way again either… Megha, how could you? Now I’ll have to take sanyas, go to the foothills of the Himalayas and meditate until I purge my mind of this unholy link between blogs and item numbers… and by that time I’d probably be too old to enjoy item numbers anyways… :( (tears welling up in eyes) …
Monday, July 4, 2005 @ 12:25 AM
You might want to direct (pun intended)