Friday, August 26, 2005
My kinda blogging
I don’t do Bridget Jones-y blogging. The ‘woe is me, why are men like domain names — the good ones are all taken‘ kind of stuff is just not me. Nor am I the Sex and the City writing type. The Carrie Bradshaw-esque ‘I am fabulously single living in my Noo Yawk loft, commitment is for losers‘ sorts. The lameness of my examples for both should have told you by now how terrible I am at that sort of stuff. So I leave that to the experts. If I lament, I cry — ‘Why don’t I find men like Chunkey Pandey in my Bawst’n loft‘. Yup, I look to my good ol’ roots when I write. Bollywood and PJs. And sometimes, when we’re feeling extra generous — Bollywood PJs.
So here we go. A Bollywood PJ with pondy undertones. Friday lunchtime excitement at its finest.
Q: A terminally-ill guy visits New York. His one wish in life is to get laid by a hooker. But will he find one in time? If one were to make a Hindi movie on this uncertainty in his life, what would they call it?
A: Kal Ho Na Ho.
Yep, there are days I should not be allowed to blog. And yesh, I was dropped on the head as a kid.
you started this!
what did the schizophrenic cloud sing to the alter ego?
ek doosre se karte hain pyaar yum
what is the bollywood movie on sibling rivalry of the twins?
yum kisise yum nahin!
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 1:42 PM
OMG… now I need to go to a shrink… All I can do now is think about Pj’s!!! See… no Voodoo threats at all…
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 2:09 PM
Aai ga…okay cool down I didn’t read this…nope I didn’t..I’m still sane…I didn’t read this! I’d my eyes shut…TG…IF
btw…if you’d watched Sunny papaji’s last movie Jo Bole So Nihaal ther’s an equally good bad n ugly “joke”…but thats a whore new story..
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 2:15 PM
TG..IF? Thank God I’m Female?
Mustang, no if no but, sirf jatt?
Megha ji, were you dropped just once or more than once? I would say definately more than once? mein theek keh raha hoon na? nai? hello? arrey jawab doh? ;)
extra security to post comments? *raises eyebrow*
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 3:53 PM
Shouldn’t it be ‘Kal Ho Ho Na Ho.
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 4:20 PM
so.. what was this all about? A recurring theme in the past few weeks…love and committment, not to mention birds (and dupattas) flying and what not… anyways have fun :)
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 5:13 PM
I can’t stand the ramblings of both those characters for pretty much the same reasons, though the female on Sex and the City is all the more annoying because it’s on TV all the time and also because I turn it on to watch Kim Catrall and Kristen Davis and end up havgin to listen to dimwit philosophy.
I find you to be far more readable (hopefully that should absolve me of being a misogynist), probably because you don’t write about how your life revolves around finding “true love” or “Mr. Right”. I’m not saying one shouldn’t be looking for true love or Mr./Ms. Right, but there shouldn’t be such a big fuss about it.
Another thing I note is in any literature or movie dealing with the “search for love”, there invariably has to be a long line of prospects that the protagonist encounters. And because the protagonist can’t be a loser, the prospect has to be, and if that happens once too often, the whole thing becomes a farce. This is the case not only with the two cases you mentioned, but also with the more popular Friends and, to a certain extent, Seinfeld (Seinfeld was saved of this problem because it’s not all about finding the right person).
Now I’m talking about something else entirely. Its time I actually started to write in my own blog!
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 6:32 PM
Okay kids, if Santa ain’t comin’ this year, its all Megha’s fault!
Mrs. Claus just read this post and sent Santa to the therapist. Apparently she doesn’t believe in all this Freudian namby pamby. :D
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 6:51 PM
Ouch, ouch….
So when Hindi movies have this magnificent trend of costume changes from para to para in a given song, there was one magnificent exception. Waheeda Rehman in ‘Gaata Rahe Mera Dil’ from Guide…..She stayed in the same costume in the entire song. And would you happen to know why??
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 7:08 PM
nooo yawwk noo yawwwk
if you’re bored of noo yawwk you’re bored of life.
i guess i gotta go lop my head off then.
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 8:32 PM
hmm … If it were Vegas, there wouldn’t be a doubt…
but then, no pj would happen either ;)
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 8:47 PM
Aha! So everyone is out for the blood of Bridget Jones-y Blogger Chicks, it would seem? Though yours is such a gentle put-down! :D
Friday, August 26, 2005 @ 11:11 PM
i always thought being dropped-in-the-head-as-a-kid helps your head grow faster :)
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 12:12 AM
[Dharmendra] Er, when did I open the floodgates for nasty PJs on my name, huh huh? Good ones though, I’ll admit :)
[Sriram] Ah, I shall consider it my good deed for the day then :)
[Mustang] I was gonna ask about the same line that [Priyavadan] did - Are you talking about the no ifs no buts, sirf jatt tagline? Or there’s more hidden treasures in the movie itself? If so, do share. Eager minds wanna know!
[Priyavadan] Well .. er .. um .. *sheepish grin* Now that the secret is out, ab chupaane se kya faayda .. :) And yes, extra security for comments is thanks to being inundated with spam lately. You gots a problem with that? *counter raised eyebrow*
[VC] I like your variation too! But grammatically just one Ho should suffice no? :)
[aNTi] It was the result of a bored moment during lunch, nothing else. Now how did this PJ fit into the theme of love and commitment and birds and dupattas? For that matter what have love and birds got to do with each other? Methinks you are doing pattern recognition where there is none :)
[Alvin Junior] .. there invariably has to be a long line of prospects that the protagonist encounters. And because the protagonist can’t be a loser, the prospect has to be, and if that happens once too often, the whole thing becomes a farce - Hmm, that is definite food for thought. Either a farce or some inevitable finger-pointing at the protagonist. Are they being too picky? Is something wrong with them? And so on.
And thank you. Am glad you enjoy reading the nonsense I write :)
[Devdutt] See, I was saving that version until Christmas, but now you went and put ideas in Mrs Claus’s head too soon :) But just imagine, if someone took a realistic photograph of a Noo Yawk street, and carefully chose the subjects of their photograph, they could actually title it - Ho, Ho, Ho and a bottle of Rum. Nice no? :)
[Nandu] I do know why, I do know why! :) But I won’t tell so as to not spoil it for the rest of the readers. Have you heard the one about the guy who is looking deep into the eyes of his girlfriend when she suddenly vanishes and is replaced by a vast desert instead? ;)
[zaph] Now you’re beginning to sound like Carrie Bradshaw! Oh the horror!
[meditativerose] Hmm, true that :) Speaking of Vegas, hope the subtle *ahem* funda of why the PJ was set in New York was apparent? Or why he was terminally ill, for that matter.
[Stuti] Put-down?! No fair! All I’m saying is that I couldn’t write that stuff even if I tried! A moment of self-realization it was, if anything. Now don’t you go giving me credit of all the wrong kinds thus putting me in the august company of a certain Kanika :) You’ll get me into trouble one day, girl!
[Bonatellis] Aha! Is that so?! That explains why I have all that extra space to store pointless Bollywood trivia and PJ. And why I am so vain! Thankoo. It all makes perfect sense now :)
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 1:09 AM
Jesus! :(
what next? An advertisement for honeymooners by J&K tourism that says “Dilwale Dulhaniya Leh Jaayenge” ?
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 1:55 AM
I am speechless. Really. This has to be one of the most PJish PJs I have ever heard !! EVVVA !!!!!
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 3:37 AM
God bless your blog!
;-)
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 4:09 AM
:)
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 5:00 AM
:-))
LOL!!!
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 5:34 AM
two more for u courtesy the MID-DAY newspaper
Q. What did Sambha tell Gabbar to flatter him?
A. Hum Aapke Hain Pawn
Q. What would be the name of the Ramsay Brothers film starring Abhishek Bachchan?
A. Mumbai se aaya mera ghost
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 8:07 AM
yeah i got problems with that, it makes me spamming you a bit harder but I am sure I will come up with a workaround ;)
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 4:17 PM
Bwahahahahaha! Is it wrong to feel glad that you were dropped on your head? You’re so adorably entertaining!
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 4:52 PM
LOL! ROTFL!
I had promised myself, that I would not spend 50% of my work hours, and 75% of my non-work hours reading your blog, reading the comments on your blog, and trying to come up with words to comment on your blog. I had sworn that I would spend that time, instead, writing on my own blog.
But here I am at a friend’s place, getting ready to go do “vacation” stuff, and what do I find myself doing instead?
*sigh*
Your blog is like cocaine. Once you try it, there’s no going back to your old life…
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 5:06 PM
“Have you heard the one about the guy who is looking deep into the eyes of his girlfriend when she suddenly vanishes and is replaced by a vast desert instead?” Okay, okay, I give up……I have thought of every conceivable pun/song I knew that involved Sahara/Gobi, etc, but now am dying to know….
And BTW, in Khoon Bhari Maang, what does Kabir Bedi sing to Rekha when he pushes her into the water and towards the crocs?
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 6:20 PM
Your fabulous PJ reminded me of one of Ajit’s famous phrases I read recently. Here’s a tinkered version
Chamchae: Boss! Raka ke aadmi isey NY ke roads se utake leh aye! Yeh Mona ka peecha kar raha tha!
Ajit (pointing to the terminally-ill guy) : Ise liquid oxygen mein phenk do..liquid ise jeene nahin dega aur oxygen ise marne nahin dega..
Chamchae: Lekin boss, yeh blog ka topic se match nahi “Ho” raha hai.
Ajit: Smaaart baaye!!! Raabart! Ise Hamlet poison de do, to be se not to be “HO” jaayega!
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 6:55 PM
Hi! Read my Kissay@
http://kissay.rediffblogs.com
Saturday, August 27, 2005 @ 11:01 PM
[Harish] Ooooh I likey your J&K tourism movie special ;) Too much!
[Vignesh] I shall presume that is a compliment and say thankoo, even though I’m pretty sure it isn’t supposed to be one ;)
[.:A:.] Aww, thank you! :) Happy that you read the blog.
[Paddy] :D
[KJ] Glad you like :) And argh, those Mid-Day ones were painful! Which of course, is never a bad thing when it comes to PJs :)
[Priyavadan] I knew it! I wondered why my spam had tripled ever since you started visiting my blog! Tsk tsk. First my doodleboard, now my commentspace. Kis janam ka badla le rahe ho, Thakur? ;)
[hemlyn] Awww .. *blush* .. Thankoo! Am just happy to be the cause of a smile :) But the hospital authorities shall be thanked profusely on your behalf, no worry! :)
[Rajesh] Awww, now that was such a sweet thing to say, that I can’t even think of something wiseass as a response. Just a heartfelt thank you :)
But what is this? I do not want my blog to be responsible for spoiling vacations! So shooo, go have fun! But come back and read my blog on Monday! :)
[Nandu] Hint (this should make it very easy for you): The girlfriend’s name is Gina :)
I dunno the Hair Parting with Blood waala! I thought and thought but no bulb lighting. Please to tell?
[gvenum] Aila! You took my sad PJ and increased its sadness quotient, which I did not think was humanly possible! :) And somewhere out there, Ajit and Raaaberrt must be gunning for your blood while Mona darrrrling, of course, continues to bathe in the bathtub :)
[vaibhav] Will do!
Sunday, August 28, 2005 @ 12:09 AM
Have seen worse PJ than these , but not on a blog :)
Sunday, August 28, 2005 @ 12:32 AM
kisi janam wanam ka badla nahin le raha hoon gabbarni, mein toh aise hi following sholay tradition you see ;)
Sunday, August 28, 2005 @ 3:44 AM
Criminally funny :)
Since I beleive in an eye for an eye (mebbe 2 if U tick me off real bad), here are 2 of the worst ones that I have hrd:
1. Jo Kaun hai?
Kambakht Ishq hai Jo
2. Once Bunty went to a tea shop and was totally zapped when on lifting his pav he found a chit with the words ‘jannat’ written in blood across it. Can you guess the name of Bunty’s teacher/Sir?
Ishq Ki Chaav (Jinke Sir ho Ishq ki Chaav, pav ke neeche jannat hogi)
Also at the risk of sounding like a small kid who runs around showing his new toys to the street Dadas I must invite you to my blog again at whoisane.blogspot.com and seek ur opinion on a new Bollywood related blog.
Sunday, August 28, 2005 @ 11:56 AM
[Nandu] as far as Megha’s riddle is concerned.. ‘aankhon hi aankhon mein ishara ho gaya, baithe baithe JEENEY ka sahara ho gaya’
for the khoon bhari maang thing..’Humey tumse pyaar kitna yeh hum nahin jaante.. MAGAR jee naheen sakte, tumhare bina?’ would be a valid song for the situation, no?
sorry for the spoilers. here’s another sad one:
A warehouse burns down. Investigators are puzzled because there was nothing flamable there. The only thing wrong with the place was a leaky roof. How did it happen?
Sunday, August 28, 2005 @ 9:12 PM
[Invincible] Well the sadder the PJ, the more deserving it is of being on one’s blog, I say! :)
[Priyavadan] Huh? What has Sholay got to do with you spamming me? *raises eyebrow suspiciously*
[Rohan] Eeeesh, those were bad. What’s worse is that I immediately got the second one without having to look at the answer :) But one question - Why does ‘jannat’ have to be written in blood? Just simple sketch pen should do na? Why so morbid and all?
Shall stop by at your blog and do the deed :)
[HWSNBF] Tsk tsk. What is the point in my giving nice hints and all? :) I dunno the warehouse one. Tell tell? Or give hint?
Monday, August 29, 2005 @ 12:01 PM
HWSNBF. Is it tip-tip ?
Monday, August 29, 2005 @ 3:26 PM
@HWSNBF
>>The only thing wrong with the place was a leaky roof. How did it happen?
Could it be leaking flammable material:)
Monday, August 29, 2005 @ 3:45 PM
who said that it has anything to do with me spamming you? assumptions assumptions I tell you!
Monday, August 29, 2005 @ 3:52 PM
[anshul] Damn, why didn’t I think of that! Now that you mention it, of course it has to be tip tip! :) [HWSNBF] will have to give the final verdict though.
[gvenum] :)
[Priyavadan] Arrey, you said so yourself! When asked why you were spamming me you said - mein toh aise hi following sholay tradition you see. So naturally I asked. Tsk tsk. People make confusing statements and then blame others for getting confused. Ghor kalyug aa gaya hai aajkal :)
Monday, August 29, 2005 @ 4:10 PM
Geez u got the second one urself. The ‘in blood’ bit was a late inclusion by urs truly to throw u off (which is no mean feat to achieve as I notice), which does look kinda morbid in retrospect.
Monday, August 29, 2005 @ 7:39 PM
try “La(w)hore” instead of NY
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 2:51 PM
confused, that sums it up. nothing more to say. If I utter anything it will be even more confusing.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 5:18 PM
[Rohan] Ah okie. I was wondering what the Ramsay Brothers type twist was for! :)
[Point 5] Ah nice! :) The New York and terminally-ill guy connection was meant to be a subtle reference to the plot of the original SRK starrer. Your comment reminds me of a PJ from long ago: Q: What do you call a French prostitute in Pakistan? The answer should be apparent, of course! :) Good to have you drop by!
[Priyavadan] In that case, kuchh na kaho, kuchh bhi na kaho :)
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 7:05 PM
ooh u mean to tell me that:
a) you havent seen Jo Bole So Nihaal
b) you have seen the movie but conveniently forgotten the dialog I’m talkin about.
c) you have seen the movie and very well know what I’m talking about…tryin to forget/recover…coz it was a scene difficult to miss.
Anyways…giving you n Priyavadan some benefit of doubt…you better go back n run to the closest Indian video store and rent out the DVD n watch it on nothing less than HDTV with Boss surround sound!!
I meant the scene in which Sunny paaji and Shilpi Mudgal are lost in translation about ***** and body!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 7:49 PM
*ssssh*
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 8:05 PM
Aaj Chunky Kal Monkey. upgrade, megha, upgrade!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 8:22 PM
aiyyo!! well, atlesat ur last line confirmed my fears! :D
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 @ 9:38 PM
[Mustang] Option (a) please :) And do tell us more about this ‘joke’ and fill the gap in our education so we don’t have to force ourselves to watch the movie.
[Priyavadan] :)
[Khakra] I wrote this post a few hours after I had finished watching Khatron Ke Khiladi (1988) so please to excuse. But now that I think about it, there cannot be a better chunk of hunk in fire-engine red jeans chewing gum with his mouth open. Do you have a better upgrade option to suggest?
[shub] Hee hee! The hospital’s mistake is your suffering! :)
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 @ 8:04 AM
too much!!! cant stand it any longer…huhhhh! Must change channel…huhhh!!!! life force drained
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 @ 10:04 AM
“Khatron Ke Khiladi” DHARMENDRA DOES A BLACK SUPERMAN!?! lol that brought a smile to my face.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 @ 11:47 AM
[nithyananda] Aww, was it that bad, really? *innocent look* :)
[Priyavadan] Ah yes, the very same one! Dharminder-paaji in a zorro like outfit and mask, calling himself Teesri Adalat, arriving in a Helicopter and shooting the baddies, Sanjay Dutt wondering what he was smoking when he signed the movie, Madhuri having a perpetual bad hair day and even worse dress-designers, Chunkey being .. well .. Chunkey .. and Neelam as a psychiatrist! (Dr Sunita MD - no last name!) .. this is one of the bestest unintentionally hilarious films i’ve seen in a long time! :D
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 @ 12:27 PM
Nice Phaltoo Joke — wwe need to collect all these treasures
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 @ 12:30 PM
HO HO HO … LMAO
Thursday, September 1, 2005 @ 3:33 AM
[@mit] Thankoo! :) My blog is turning out to be a collection of such banalities, anyway.
[Pallavi] Glad you like :)
Thursday, September 1, 2005 @ 6:13 PM
eee… wasn’t this one a bit feeble? well, lolz… isn’t a PJ supposed to be just that?
Pip Pip,
Arvind
Monday, September 12, 2005 @ 10:47 AM
[Arvind] Didn’t think the ‘ho’ reference made it particularly feeble, but to each their own :) And yes, a PJ is meant to make one groan, so if it did that, it has served its purpose :)
Friday, September 16, 2005 @ 12:48 PM
Now I know what Bertie Wooster meant when he said, “What ho, Jeeves?” … you have opened my eyes for which I shall eternally be in your debt….
Friday, September 23, 2005 @ 10:25 AM