A bit of this and a bit of that

*emerges again out of her rabbit hole, cautiously checking for stray missiles* Anybody there still reading this blog? *tiptoes around the landmines carefully* Ding dong? Helloooooo? Ah, there you are. Goodie!

Phew! We’ve had a controversial and busy few days, haven’t we? I know, I know. This is what happens when we start taking things too seriously. This blog is supposed to be nonsensical. But silly me. I had to go and develop a sense of righteousness and what not. Indignation, that never surfaced when I inflicted Vikram Bhatt movies upon myself, had to suddenly show its ugly face now. Bah! And see what happened? Yeah, much messiness. But not to worry. We are quick to realize the folly of our ways. We have been suitably chastised, written ‘must remain frivolous’ a thousand times on our blackboard, stood and sulked in the corner for a good three hours and now we have returned with a promise to not go on those trips again. Heh. Yeah right. Well, at least not unless we’re really inspired.

So, important things first. Thank you all very much for voting for this blog. Twice. Fushtofall, we are glad you liked our design. Secondofall, being placed third in IndiBlog of the Year behind India Uncut and GreatBong is a huge honor and it only gives us more reason to continue the pointless drivel that is traditionally expected of us. Yesh, next time any of you complain about the crap I write, I’m gonna turn around and say it’s all your fault. Yes, you, you and you. (Random person from audience cowers in fright, pitifully howling — Me? What did I do? Not my fault! I didn’t even vote for you! Second random person in audience makes a hurried exit muttering — Oh crap! Who squealed? Damn, it was supposed to be a secret ballot!)

So there. But seriously, regardless of the saas-bahu drama that unfolded, you have my heartfelt gratitude for your vote of confidence. And my promise of not generating Balakrishna look-alike kids holds too.

Moving on to more entertaining things. A conversation with a friend led to some .. um .. let’s call it .. creativity for now. And, as is the case with all things bright and beautiful, I naturally had to share. Of course, said friend has chosen to remain anonymous so as to not suffer the consequences of such brilliance being associated with him. But he is very much amongst us. So beware!

He: <something silly>
Me: You’re nuts. Completely paagal!
Me: <as an afterthought> You know, the dad of a seagull family?
He: Hm?
Me: He’d be paagal too! Pa-gull that is.
He: LOL! Ugh. That was just sad.
Me: Hah! You’re just jealous cos you couldn’t come up with something like that.
He: Oh yeah? What would you call a royal seagull?
Me: King-fisher? (Which I thought was a good one! Seagulls eat fish, no?)
He: No. Regal!
Me: Gah. What would you call a seagull that stars in a mega-fantasy trilogy?
He: Huh?
Me: Smeagol!
He: Heh. And what would you call a miserly seagull?
Me: Um ..
He: Frugal!
Me: Uff. What do you call a geriatric seagull?
He: Uh?
Me: Hangal !
He: Ouch! And what profession would a Chinese seagull choose?
Me: Er ..
He: Legal!
Me: Ooh I like! What would a Punjabi seagull say to another?
He: Eh?
Me: Sea-gull hai? Koi nahin!

The conversation then led to the country with the most seagulls being Portugal, and artsy movie maker seagull from Bollywood being Shyam Benegal, amongst other inanities. Yes, much pain. See, aren’t you glad we are back with regular programming? Heh heh. That’s what I thought.

47 thoughts on “A bit of this and a bit of that

  1. witnwisdumb

    Ah! I truly cannot believe I am leaving two comments in a row, right at 1 and 2!!! On this Award Winning Blog. No wait, make that Multi Award Winning Blog. Now the usual stuff: great post. ROFLOL. Especially at the ‘Hangal’ gag (‘Hangal gag’ compressible to ‘hag’?). And the mandatory felicitations.

    No, seriously, great job! Congratulations! :)

  2. aNTi

    [Megha] So….., what happened to that Adrien Brody thing? Any luck? ;)
    Anyways, high time you got back to regular programming. People have been sending your fan mail my way. Shall re-direct them to you sometime :)
    And why do you keep issuing veiled threats of “Balakrishna look-alikes” (i think it’s been windy windy three times already!)? :O
    My theory, ooops, hypothesis (as Sepia Mutiny informs us) is this. I think, under the garb of being a “Mega Star” fan, you also nurse a secret crush on Nandamuri Jr. So suddenly one day they (the Balakrishna look-alike kids) will appear, seemingly out of nowhere and you will conveniently point to our most recent digressions. Nah Nah. We won’t fall for that one, lady!

  3. Suyog

    Me: Uff. What do you call a geriatric seagull?
    He: Uh?
    Me: Hangal !

    – ROFL!! This was too good – I am impressed with your friend’s creativity LOL – terrific answers here!

    Where do seagulls hang out?
    Warangal.

    Great post.

    Suyog

    PS: Boo Hoo Hoo… Pats lost! Football sucks from this point on!

  4. Megha Post author

    [witnwidumb] Thankoo. And hush, don’t be taking sidey digs. And I cannot believe that you actually decided to leave a comment here. So there’s plenty of disbelief going around, it seems. So there :)

    [aNTi] Nahin na, yahi to rona hai. He got busy with King Kong I suppose. Hmpfh. Men these days – all the wrong priorities. And excuse me, that BK-lookalike thing was our campaign promise so we were just telling folks that we were gonna stick to it. That makes it windy windy two times only, thankyouverrymuch. And pliss to not be questioning our Chiru loyalties. There’s been only one moustached Southie hero in our life and no Narasimha Naidu-types is going to change that, samjhe? :)

    [D] *groan* Why was I expecting something this bad from you? You never disappoint.

  5. Megha Post author

    [Suyog] Thankoo. Am sure the source of all this trouble is lurking around somewhere so he’ll see your compliments. Ouch about the Warangal :) And I am still in denial about the Pats. There is no football. There are no teams. It is all an illusion. Sigh.

    [TerritorialMale] Yesh :)

    [Decamisado] Ah, we wondered if someone would think of Google. Most pleased :)

  6. gvenum

    I had to go and develop a sense of righteousness and what not. Indignation, that never surfaced when I inflicted Vikram Bhatt movies upon myself, had to suddenly show its ugly face now.

    I gather from above the trip to the “Dark world” was quite painful. Glad to see you back to our regular principled idealogy (silliness & shallowness that is) which is delightfully “Fun-gal”. ugh!

  7. Arun Verma

    What does a procrastinating seagull say?
    Yeh kaam gull karengae!

    How does a seagull ask for forgiveness?
    Maaf kar do, gull-ti ho gayee.

    What do you call seagull washrooms?
    Gulls and Buoys.

    How does one seagull murder another one?
    By stangling it (Gull-a ghot ke)

    LMAO! Gullate post Megha!

  8. anshul

    Good Fun, all the gullism.
    As a tribute to the wise anon and you, here’s my contribution:
    What festival did the gulls might have recenlty celebrated ?
    Pongal.

  9. aNTi

    Okie.. I HAD to jump in…
    1. Where did loverboy Sea Gull take lovergal Sea Gull on their first date?
    A. To a midnight screening of “Gull Ho Na Ho”!

    2. If they ever get a nation of their own, who would the sea gulls commision to write their new national anthem?
    A. Baba SeaGull!

    And since cricket is the flavor of the season….
    3. From where would the PSCB (Pakistan Sea Gulls Cricket Board) pick its players?
    Ans: From gulli cricket, naturally! It’s Pakistan, man!

  10. iyer education

    great post… and a nice dash of vikram bhatt movies added as garnishing… i like it :D

    oh by the way… BELATED HAPPY PONGULL ;)

    chalo now to be giving party… what you say… party nahi milega… chalo koi GULL nahi ;)

  11. Fleiger

    Congrats on both the honours!!!

    Yes, it’s better to be back to “Ramayan” and “Mahabharat” after the little episode of “Basket-weaver’s of Kumaon – Ladakh Doordarshan ki bhent” :)

    But then, DD is DD because of the primetime as well as documentaries, so keep it up.

  12. Falstaff

    Sigh. And to think I’m actually gull-ible enough to contribute to the madness. Think the gull motif is getting zara stale, so shall skip the Swift repartee about Gull-iver’s travels, bravely resist the temptation to make jokes about the African country that watches the most movies (it’s Sene-gal, btw), and avoid a whole host of DD1 level puns about jun-gal and man-gal and up the stakes a bit by introducing a motif straight out of Coleridge. Here goes: (gull-p!)

    Q. Which of the actors in the TV series Friends are good-looking?
    A. All but Ross.

  13. Hemlyn

    OMG, your friends are as corny as yourself? It must be so much of fun to hang out with you! :)

    And congratumatation! Does this mean you’ll be posting more frequently? We can’t get enough of you, you see.

  14. Prashanth

    That was a fantastic post.

    What is a singing gull called? Madrigal.

    Megha, I guess my browser (Firefox 1.5) is a bit angry with your code. When I move the pointer over the icons which classify the post, the tooltip sometimes appears twice.

    Also, to be a bit finicky, I would say there should be one more period in your title. The continuity of the walk seems to end without it ;)

  15. Australopithecus

    And you can tell Gulls anything and they will belive you..they are pretty ‘Gull’ible.
    now its a tern for the really bad ones…about water birds having a lot of gull friends
    ..If a seabird misunderstands something will he be ‘Gull’atfemi ka shikar (to be hunted down by misunderstanding)

  16. Hariprasad

    Excellent Post Megha..
    Came to this blog thru the link provided by greatbong and I am already impressed…
    Will promise to browse thru ur archives soon!!!

    Congrats on the award!!!!

    Cheers,
    HP

  17. Ideasmith

    Oh my gaaaaad lady, you made me laugh right out in the middle of a quiet office. I chanced upon the indibloggies late but I’d have voted for you anyway!

  18. choc_ice

    congrats on winning. i did’nt know about this blog till i saw the results. wondering how i missed it this long. witty and hilarious and a fellow Chiru fan too!!!

  19. Gaurav

    meri gull bhi to suno..

    a gull who uses signs to communicate
    sign-gull

    three gulls
    trian-gull

    a captured gull./ an ordinary gull
    gull-aam

    a gull who loves flowers
    gull-aab

    a gull hanging from upside down
    dan-gull(dangle)

    choking a gull
    stran-gull(strangle)

    the internet loving gull
    e-gullI(eagle)

    a gull who stares…
    oogle

    a gull born on a tuesday
    man-gull

    a meeting of gulls
    min-gull(mingle)

    a confused gull
    tan-gull(tangle)

    [my favourite]
    name of DISCOVERY show on gulls
    gull,gull-shan, gull-faam

    and finally…..a gull from hybd..
    gull-tee

  20. :-)

    What a come back from those christmas posts. :-) Absolutely positively sweet and hilarious post. Hey congrats on being number three, girl.

  21. Megha Post author

    [gvenum] Ugh. Now my writing is like mold? I knew you hated my PJs, but this much hatred? Tsk tsk :)

    [Arun] Argh! I guess I brought this one upon myself, didn’t I? Some choice additions to the list. My personal favorite thought is ‘gulls and buoys’ :)

    [anshul] :) Ah yes. Thankoo. Groan.

    [aNTi] Mummy bachao! And also, I am thinking of Baba Seagull as the spiritual leader of the seagulls types. An ex-rapper seagull who has found spirituality now and tries to better the bird-world with it, all Ajmeri Baba types. Not that Ajmeri Baba was ever a rapper or anything. At least not that we know of. (I should remember to ask him next time I meet him though)

    [Rumpy] Thankoo. Glad you likes and glad to be back to normal nonsense! Happy Pongal to you too! And party? What party? You talkin to me? ;)

    [Fleiger] Ah yes indeed. I have the fondest memories of Krishi Darshan and the time when they taught us how to make jaggery. Boy, gud times those were. Glad you are a willing reader of both types of posts. And being a first-time commenter and all, welcome! :)

    [Falstaff] Ahem. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. The madness has just been bestowed with some newfound respectability. Undeserving, but respectability nonetheless. That was delicious. Ouch, but delicious.

    [Hemlyn] Aw, you are too sweet to me :) Thankoo! Coming from a kook like you that is a huge compliment! Sadly, I am an ingrate who doesn’t intend to write any more frequently than she has done so far. But pliss to adjust and not hold that against us? As for my friends, um .. yesh. They manage to make me look sane. Yes yes, I know. Hard to believe, but true.

    [Prashanth] Um? Madri and singing? Beg pardon my dense-ness and please explain? I am thinking of some Mahabharata type jokes involving Kunti, Madri and Madri-gull, but they are so bad that I shall not even elaborate upon them. I worry that public lynching as a form of punishment might suddenly make an appearance in the blog world. And I’ll look into the Firefox tooltip duplication, although I am not very sure why. Oh and welcome to the land of the two-dot ellipsis. On closer observation (not that one should waste one’s time observing such things) you will notice that I write all my ellipses with two-dots, including the ones in my posts and post titles. Its just one of those quirks or a my-ism, as I prefer to call it. But please to continue to be finicky and point out such things :) And welcome to a first-time commenter!

    [Dee] Glad you did. Truly inspired bunch of lunatics around here, for sure :)

    [the One] Ah yes yes. We intentionally left out the Steven and Eric portions of this madness cos we hear those characters make an appearance in a fantasy story by an author who also blogs. Yesh, we are talking about Samit Basu here. Haven’t yet laid hands on the book in question though.

    [Australopithecus] To be hunted down by misunderstanding – I likes :)

    [TerritorialMale] Have you checked Goo-gull?

    [Vasu] Just cos we Gultis are silly doesn’t mean we are gullible too, you know? Hmpfh :)

    [Raj] Will try :)

    [Hariprasad] Glad you liked! Thanks for stopping by and thank you GreatBong :) Welcome to the lunacy and see you around!

    [Ideasmith] Ooh goodie. It is the thought that counts, although the election commission will have you believe otherwise. And by the way, that is exactly how we believe this blog is best enjoyed – during office hours, sneaking away from the boss’s prying eye, while a critical deadline hangs over your neck. Glad it worked :)

    [choc_ice] Thank you! And glad to have you stop by! Der aaye durust aaye and all that, after all. Keep visiting :)

    [Gaurav] Oh good grief. I have gone and created a self-feeding monster. Oh the horror. (Although I must admit I have a soft corner for ‘Gull Gull-shan Gull-faam’) I thought of one more, inspired from yours -

    Q: What is a seagull’s favorite snack food?
    A: Prin-gull

  22. Megha Post author

    [Smiley] Thankoo thankoo :) We are glad to be back too! And excooj me? What is wrong with my Christmas posts? Weren’t they absolutely positively sweet and hilarious too? Some people have no appreciation only, I tell you! Hmpfh :)

  23. Gera

    Q: What do you have in the evening when you’re in Hyderabad?
    A: Gull-Tea.

    Q: Which actor dislikes marine birds the most?
    A: Gull-Shun-Kumar.

    Q: What do you call a golf shot gone wrong?
    A: Gull-Tee.

    Q: What do you call a desperate marine bird?
    A: Sin-Gull.
    (This does not refer to what you’re thinking. Touching yourself is *not* a sin.)

    Q: What snack do the birds like?
    A: Prin-Gulls.

  24. loverBoy

    First of all, my congratulations to you on topping the list under the Best Designed IndiBlog category and for being placed at third position under the IndiBlog of the year category. :-)

    I am sorry to say that I was not even aware of this competition nor did I know of IndiBloggies until I read this post of yours. :-(

    Also, was sorry to note that something controversial went on and I was not part of it! ;-)

    Liked this post of seagulls. Yes, indeed I am glad you are back with your regular programming! :-)

  25. aNTi

    [Megha] Wow, after searching for so long for a first line for my forthcoming book, I have hit upon one here today – Who is Ajmeri Baba? Nice, no? I have heard so much about this guy here (found another reference somewhere else last week too) in the midst of the arbit madness here, that I have decided to give him his rightful place in the annals of best selling literature, much like the John Galt!
    And for a minute, I thought the Eric and Steven reference was to Forman and Hyde! Only then did I realise that it was another of those “gull” PJs..
    Oh, btw, Smiley couldn’t have put it better there. So, echoing the same words, Congrats on becoming number three. If it will help, being number three (or number four or number five or number [insert random positive integer greater than two]) is better than being number one or number two.
    (P.S: Pliss excoos me. Too much Austin Powers in the past week!)

  26. Phalgun

    Hi,
    Have been reading your blog for a few weeks now. Was led here by a friend. Heck of a writing style you got there lady! Absolutely Charming Crap.
    Usually I am not the commenting types, but couldnt resist after the *creative* gull conversation. I suppose i have similar humour *tastes*. And a morbid sarcasm for the (majority of) Telugu Movie Industry.

  27. Prashanth

    If you go to Tuscany and sing a pastoral song you would have sung a madrigal.
    By the way, to match your pathetic dissection of the word madrigal, here is mine: Madri is a gal, isn’t it?

    As Einstein said “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one” (I copied it from the top), if you keep those two dot ellipses persistent, they might become real. Also, it reminds me of Kant’s philosophy that representation of an object defines the object rather than the object defining its representation.

  28. Helmi

    Excellent post – you and many of the comments made me smile today. Just what I needed today. Here ‘s a quote on sea gulls:

    “Seagulls: Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

    Nigel: Oh would you just shut up? You’re rats with wings.”

    ~Finding Nemo

    Congrats on winning third place.

  29. Pushuka

    Hey.. congrats on the award!! The recognition is richly deserved. It’s been a while since I last visited, but it’s good to see that you still retain your excellent taste in PJ’s… btw. here’s one I heard recently…

    Q: What would you call a movie starring Chunkey Pandey and AK Hangal?
    A: Hangal Pandey!!

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a bath… :-)

    cheers,
    -Pushuka

  30. Sriram

    Ok, time for me to snap out of my “What the f**k? How in f**king hell did Brady and the Pats lose?” mood. Yesh, that may be GULL-ible for all those non-Pats fans but I’m sure someone out there would understand my pain. In any case, what’s with the gulls? Is that a new way of saying “gal”? :D..

    Time for me to go bash up some denver fans. *promptly proceeds to get a 2 x 4 and starts whacking a horse and suddenly realises a policeman’s sitting on it.*

  31. Bad Hair Day

    And I had just commented on how cool a design you have! Congrats on the award! :)
    The rest of the puns of the post I can’t really understand, so will refrain from commenting.

    I am just very curious as to why South Indian women will have perfectly normal and nice sounding names like Megha, but the men have to be Balakrishna like! :D

  32. twinkletoes

    back for the fix, i ish…tried to stay away from your blog, but inspite of the handcuffs..i couldnt..
    congratulations and all that jazz ( brings “thali” filled with “bantis” and “chamantis” to shower upon the winner )
    :o), especially since i rooted and voted(heh heh)
    its like an avian flu here…why’re we all so gullible?personally, i think gulls rock, especially after reading”jonathan livingston seagull”…
    ps:my byte in this mad(e)ness:
    what do you call a gulty sailor?
    seagull (you can please stop gagging)

  33. Shashank

    Happen to stumble on your site through prem’s blog where the awards for all blogs were listed. The number of hits are going to definately increase now. I came for the look of the blog and was instantly hooked, the blog on Shoban was really hilarious did you know that he almost always had two ladki’s in his movies, my sis was a big fan of this stud and I cannot leave without saying will you make friendship..pleaz pleaz do reply ..no pun intended.. my productivity in my job has gone down today due to the halt at your online home…

  34. Gi

    from one ‘mania’ c to another..

    U missed the most obvious one… :-)
    Who is the most famous Actor amongst them..

    ‘Steven ‘Seagall’… :-D

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