FA-Q

Brevity has never been the soul of our wit. Yes, soul-less wit, that’s us. Not to be confused with a wit-less soul. Okay, token silly wordplay over. So yes, this post is just a wee bit long. But, the time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things, and so it will have to be done. Oh and by the way — this is not for the weak-hearted, impressionable-of-age and bearing-of-child. Heh heh.

You’d think it is a foregone conclusion that the people who read this blog actually want to read this blog? Amazingly enough, no. Apparently, a lot of people who find me annoyingly cute and find my writing suicide-inspiring also read this blog. Yippee-de-doo! And no no. Not just read it and go back to infest the dungeons they inhabit. Nosiree. Instead they visit an ungodly twenty-three times a day, post comments full of pimply angst and dutifully check back every few minutes to see if I’ve kicked their asses nine ways to Nairobi. And you know how we hate to disappoint.

So yes, excruciating love and affection of certain peoples has been compelling them to pepper the blogosphere with sweet nothings about me and my blog, since a while now. My non-controversial, couldn’t hurt a fly if it tried blog. Damn, I can’t even say that with a straight face. Ah well. Some nasties are in posts written about me, some in comments on other people’s blogs and some via email. And of course, how can I leave out my most favorite kind? My dah’lings — my anonymous commenters. Yeah, wayyy too much loving, I tell you! So here you go. All the things you wanted to know but were afraid to ask. At least in public.

Me

  • Q: Are you real or imaginary?
    A: I am complex.

  • Q: Is Megha your real name?
    A: No. I am Pentakumari Pamulaparthi. I realized Megha was cooler, so I went with that instead. And before you ask, no I am not related to P V Narasimha Rao. Yep, that’s what the P in his name stands for.

  • Q: Are you single?
    A: Viktorrr .. hunny bunny! This one’s for you!

  • Q: Do you have a life other than your blog?
    A: Yes, multiples ones, in fact. A convenient side-effect of having multiple personalities.

  • Q: Why are you so full of yourself?
    A: Aren’t you? How sad. I for one, find it a wonderful way to ignore everyone else who is full of themselves. In any case, would you rather be full of me, instead?

My writing

  • Q: This blog is so annoyingly silly and pointless.
    A: Yeah, it is. So? Why does it bug you if I am frivolous? No seriously, please to tell me why, so I can hone my skills and annoy you some more. And more importantly, why is being frivolous such a bad thing? If you’ve never been frivolous, you should seriously consider trying it some time. Immensely therapeutic. And while you’re at it, you might want to remove that stick out of your ass too. Ah there. Much better, ain’t it? Pat pat. Nah, it was no big deal. Always willing to help.

    I think some people take themselves way too seriously. I, on the other hand, revel in my shallowness. I don’t claim to be profound. If you have those pretensions, pliss to write deep posts of your own and then drown yourself in them. Blub blub. But why do you expect them from me and then throw hissy fits when you don’t get them? If you’re in the mood for Chinese, why order a Gujarati thali, I say?

    Which comes to my other issue — who said writing pointless and silly posts was a trivial matter? Every one of the cretins who crib and whine about my writing — I’d like to see YOU write something that is silly, pointless and make at least one person in the world smile or laugh. No, seriously. Why is humor/wit/satire (yes we shall be so pompous as to believe we do some of that) given the red-headed step-sisterly treatment in general? Why is serious writing lauded and silly writing, considered less-than-equal? And who decided what was blog-worthy, in the first place? Who says Asha Parekh’s posterior or a cow’s dialect are not serious enough issues? Oh hush, you skeptics. I have a letter here from a very distraught Mr Asha Parekh, that will change your mind.

    I think it is tougher to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. Tugging at your heartstrings is much easier than tickling your funny-bone. But no, I am not so full of myself as to believe that I always make you laugh. But I love to write the nonsense that I do and if in doing so, I manage to bring a smile on your face every once in a while, I cannot really ask for much more, can I?

  • Q: Why do you refer to yourself as ‘we’?
    A: There are a whole bunch of us. Seventeen at last count. Good one, Evil two, Psycho three, Sentimental four, Kooky five .. and so on. And all of us write this blog. Hence the we. Plus, we suffer from delusions of grandeur. We think we are royalty. We write our blog sitting on a velvet recliner, with grapes being dangled over our mouth. A delectable stud, wearing a strategically placed fig-leaf, fans us, while another of his hubba-hubba ilk, draws us a bath of goat’s milk and rose petals. In the background, our pet white tiger with a diamond-studded collar, yawns disinterestedly, while perched on his silk pillow. Is that enough of a visual for you? Now shoo.

  • Q: Your blog is emetogenic. It makes me want to throw up. What should I do?
    A: Don’t visit it so often. And if you must, the brown paper bags are near the exit.

My commenters

  • Q: I can’t believe you deleted the obnoxious comment I posted last week! What the heck?
    A: Really? After fifty-three deletions you still have trouble believing it? My my, quite the optimist, aren’t we? Gee, what can I possibly do to convince you, I wonder? Maybe this and this will help?

  • Q: Why don’t I see any female commenters?
    A: You don’t? Hmm, it must be ‘cos all my female readers are higher beings so they have powers of invisibility that are beyond your comprehension. I alone can read their comments. Yep, that’s got to be it.

  • Q: Why are your commenters only men?
    A: Aww, you have a problem with that? Why, I have just the solution for you! Here is how you can help change that. Aw, no biggie. You can thank me later by stopping by and commenting. Post-op of course.

My beguiling charms

  • Q: People read your blog only because you are female.
    A: Oooh, thank you for your faith in the allure of my gender. As it turns out, my being a female precludes me from being capable of writing anything readable. People read my blog only for my feminine wiles and charms, *coy blush* and not for what I have to say. And sadly, silly me didn’t get the memo explaining these fine intricacies of the blogging world. Tch tch. What a waste. Apparently I could have written about how my dog ate pickled prunes and pooped and all of you would have come along and lapped it up willingly. Ugh.

    While that speaks very highly of my aforementioned wiles, *obvious eyelash flutter-flutter*, it is so deliciously insulting on so many levels, innit? One, it suggests that I am not capable of writing something that people actually want to read. Two, it suggests that my typical reader, as a habit, leaves their brain on the local train before visiting my blog. Three, it implies that all my readers read my blog only in the hope of getting into my pants. Aww, li’l old me? Really? *giggle giggle* Now I am as delusional as the next person, but not even I, with all my megalomania (and a homonymous website to boot), think that is possible.

    But let us for a moment, for entertainment sake, assume that to be true. So who do you think would have a problem with my commenters’ nefarious agendas, my insidious intentions and the coy song-and-dance routine we are jointly indulging in? Someone who has made it his or her life’s goal to be one of the aforementioned get-into-my-pants-ers, that’s who. Now for that kind person, I have a few words of wisdom — please do unto yourself what others would not do unto you. Enough said.

  • Q: How many men do you flirt with simultaneously?
    A: I’ve never been much about numbers. It’s all about quality, not quantity.

  • Q: Why not me? I am a man too, you know?
    A: Ah, you are? Your mama must be so proud!

  • Q: Will you have a blog fling with me?
    A: Can I fling you from my blog?

  • Q: Do you secretly hope to get sexual gratification from your blog?
    A: Wouldn’t be much of a secret if I told you, would it?

Ah, all done. See, I didn’t want to get diabetic all by myself, so this was just a way of returning some of the suggah. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I am so nice that I make myself nauseous too. But niceties apart, they say you haven’t really arrived until you’ve got someone thoroughly hot and bothered by your very existence. If I’ve managed to make people launch into random vitriolic bombast about a person they know nothing of and care even lesser about, then I MUST be doing something right, no? So yay for me!

Oh, and by the way — don’t forget to pick up that stick on your way out. Thanks much.

148 thoughts on “FA-Q

  1. iyer education

    i agree, you have to be talented to write silly articles… but you have to be talentedest to come up with such an FAQ list and come up with funnier… er… actually hilarious answers for them…

    keep on it… ignore the fockers… they all come under one family you see…

    asha parekh’s posterior reminds me of udita goswami’s spinal cord… oooh… can we have something on that… and pliss for dogs sake (not the one that poos and makes a post out of it), do not publish this question (arey spinal cord wala) on your sequel to FAQ (if any)… my question will feel very sorry to have appeared there ;)

  2. kallu mama

    Megha ji ….koi jastee awaj kiya to khopdee pe ek ghoda rakh ke satka dalne ka………kya…commenter log bole to welle rehte….jastee insult kiya to bolne ka “hatta…sawan ki ghata”….dhicchkeeaaaaoon

  3. karan

    whooaa…here u go again talking to *those* villianous ppl arnd here! somehow, i haven’t ran into any of them…u seem to b doing a great job of clean-up ops! :) OR cud it be a case of schizophrenia…see ur local doctor today :D

  4. Anurag

    Nobody asks me all these intelligent questions. :( Must be either because I am a man, or because my name is not Megha.

    Why did you exclude the important question that I once asked you: Do you hand out free marijuana on your blog to attact so many comments? Or is it only marginally sibsidized?

    Cheers.

  5. Taz Snow

    **Much Deep Bowing in Awe**

    Men will NEVER learn not to be obnoxious to a woman…they just don’t get the million-and-one ways in which we can scratch their silly little eyes out (and we, being women, can ofcourse only use our long, painter nails…verbal debate is WAY beyond us!). So, I expect you shall continue to get much vituperation in the form of comments, and many more questions of questionable nature.

    Two words for you, amiga…Go Megha!

  6. Raj

    For a moment , I thought you were talking abt me. I mean, I did threaten to commit suicide once on this blog n I do come back quiet a few times to see if u had replied to my comment :)

    I didnt know people were bad mouthing you and your blog.

    They are the ones who need to get a life!

    And yes, I have never read an angry comment here so u do a good job of deleting them.

  7. Andy E.

    That’s quite a wide audience you’re targeting there. Good luck reaching them! As they say, “you can fool some people all the time, but then the others would feel left out”. Okay, they don’t really say that, but they should.

    Question for you – if brevity is not the soul of your wit, is revathy?

    Okay, enough with the poor attempts at being funny. Feel free to use this as an example when explaining the difficulty of writing satire.

    And while you’re at it, say ‘hi’ to Flippant Fifteen for me, and make sure Psycho Three doesn’t find out.

  8. Senthil

    You had me at “I am complex.” Hilarious!

    Egad. No, I meant the pun, not the idea of your being complex, which is not. Hilarious. On second thoughts…

    *exit ducking*

  9. dxb prasad

    Q1 : which of ur personas is as stupid as u sound?
    Q2 : what all in-born complexes u have? (e.g. but not restricted to : pseudoism, boodoism, lewdoism, nothing-else-doism, etc)
    Q3 : when will u mature as a woman (ie, if u r not a BOT) n stop calling urself a gender (female)?

    but let me confess, have met more inane women b4 u .. read my latest post.

  10. sri

    oh… my gawd…. i see … a bizarre coincidence..
    all your posts .. has a posting time of 12.00 am …

    so u spend ur cold nights with ur lapTop ???
    .. he he he he..

    So Miss. Pentakumari Pamulaparthi gaaru , what kind of dreemz… u get ???
    that too … after thinking so much … to write .. so much … to describe so much … to explain so much… to paint so much… to captivate ur audience with your coolest flow of words ..

    hats off … yar..

    keep writing pentamma… ( in short.. :-) ) ha ha ha ha…

  11. Falstaff

    Megha: Brilliant. I put feet. All I can say is: Wait. You’re a woman??!!

    Have you read Sterne, btw? Here he is in Tristram Shandy on gravity:

    “Sometimes, in his wild way of talking, he would say, That gravity was an errant scoundrel ; and he would add, — of the most dangerous kind too, —- because a sly one ; and that, he verily believed,
    more honest, well-meaning people were bubbled out of their goods and money by it in one twelve-month, than by pocket-picking and shop-lifting in seven. In the naked temper which a merry heart discovered, he would say, There was no danger, — but to itself : — whereas the very
    essence of gravity was design, and consequently deceit ; — ’twas a taught trick to gain credit of the world for more sense and knowledge than a man was worth ; and that, with all its pretensions, — it was no better, but often worse, than what a French wit had long ago defined it, — viz.
    A mysterious carriage of the body to cover the defects of the mind ; — which definition
    of gravity, Yorick, with great imprudence, would say, deserved to be wrote in letters of gold.”

    See. All that wisdom and the words ‘naked’ and ‘French’ in there somewhere to keep your drooling male readers subliminally happy.

  12. Jay

    Hello, after a long time! Another question to add to your list of FAQs: Propagandizing a blog (through pingbacks and other services like technorati) leads to a bigger and more diverse audience. Isn’t that one of many reasons why your blog has received both desired and undesired responses? I doubt that there are people who visit 30 times a day and spend valuable time commenting just to annoy you … but hey, I may be wrong. I live (and write) in a small world where there’s only a select audience, and they’re usually happy just reading — so I don’t have to worry about undesired comments :-).

  13. Sriram

    [Pentakumari Pamulaparthi] Now this FAQ is all fine, but how do expect *me/us* to read this one –
    “Q: Will you have a blog fling with me?
    A: Can I fling you from my blog?” and not fall from the chair on our butts and roll along the carpet floor laughing? My alter-ego(s) and I shall refrain from making a mockery out of morons who can’t read something without thinking of “oooo… me likey… this blog written by fee-male and so me shall reed anything written, even if it koshteens my manhood” or ” ooo.. this one gets sexual gratification from blogging”. (seriously though, I would looooove to know how to obtain sexual gratification thro a blog. I’m sure i’d love to do it!!There!! my quota of daily nonsense :D.. will be back for more later.

  14. Hemlyn

    “Oh, and by the way — don’t forget to pick up that stick on your way out. Thanks much.”

    Buahahahahahahahahahahaha! You’re amazing! I wub you.

    - Invisible female

  15. witnwisdumb

    Whoa… People actually ask you such questions?! Jeez… … … words fail me. Quite stupid, I must say. And you even tolerate those people. FIFTY THREE DELETIONS?! Ah, the price of fame.

  16. Pingback: DesiPundit » FAQ For The Troubled Mind

  17. viktor

    [XXX prasad] I do not ordinearily komment on this blog, but yourr ass desearrrves to be kicked. you arre the pearrfect exampell of the kind of verm that should stay under your slimy rock instead of crrapping ovearr the kommentspace heer. (faux Russian accent ends)

    First you come here, compliment the lady on her blog, and get pained when she doesn’t comment on your blog (heck, she was even polite enough to not be uncharitable about your decidedly mediocre writing). Do you realise that your stuff is so boring it could be used as an anesthetic?

    You calling her stupid is like a heap of dung accusing a perfumerie of stinking – so pathetic that it is entertaining.
    As far as complexes go, it is you, the slimeball, that suffers from bigger complexes (including, but not limited to, an oedipus complex, a small-d*** complex, and a ‘i want to screw my friend who is someone else’s wife’ complex). What is annoying about hypocrites like you is that you will be preachy and use religious metaphors (what was that, partha and panchali, wtf?), but your brain is as polluted as a bombay sewer.

    Aside from the fact that your last question doesn’t make any sense, let me tell you that she can call herself whatever she chooses – woman, female, girl anything, and you have no business questioning it.
    As far as that little bit at the end of your comment is concerned, i’m not surprised that you have met only inane women, if at all (and i am sure they do not have fond memories of the interaction with you, either). You are probably frustrated because of your inadequacies. My advice to you would be to stay in your hole lest your sorry butt gets kicked.

    I’m not going to waste any shotgun bullets on you. Scram.

  18. twinkletoes

    heh heh heh…
    this post does kick ass, girl :o)
    as for mr “dxb prasad”, i wasa wondering why you didnt delete his comment, but i now realize the immense potential he provides us to whoop his sexist-male-chauvanist-pig ass!
    i actually went and read his post. apart from the atrocious syntax and soporific writing style, the content itself was the garbled output of an intellectually challenged, ranting, raving, Y-chromosome-stimulated-testosterone-induced mind, (provided we assume that is the organ that does the thinking for him).
    i loved the answer you gave to the rectally stuck up questioner….i do hope they picked up the stick on their way out..
    i can keep goin about all those questions, but that would take too long… :o)i’m sure you get my point…
    as for the one about you flirting simultaneously with several men, it reminds me of the noodle, remember? ;o)
    anywhat, thankoo berry mush faar this break-i neede to whoop some ass baaaaaaaad…
    much love

  19. twinkletoes

    i had to come back and say this: :o)
    i totally agree that makin people laugh is harder than makin them bawl and sniff (and create snot)
    and i really admire you for having the sense of humor that you have…
    no female commenters? (kajal-lineed eyes become bigger) who said there’s no “female commenters” here?
    a funny person is a funny person, it is not a sex-linked trait like some people are compelled to believe..
    anywhat, no use tryin to change the way neanderthals think, is there?

  20. Siriramoo

    Dear [Pentakumari (hic) Pamulaparthi (hic)],
    I yam nau fullllly drunk on lafter. I find peepul who try to find meening in every line ever written by tom,dick, harry, reddy, iyer and any assorted person verrrrry amoosing. Why? becaas they think they are intellectuvals, while in reality, they are totally dumb and they can’t ensaai the ishmaller things in life, like some good old-u fashioned humor (hic). Tsk tsk… maybe vee (and by that, i talk to Sriram and other alter-egos that inhabit my mind) should have some fun and write things like ” life is like a layer of onions. you keep peeling away and find nothing – and once you’ve found out that you shouldn’t be peeling *all* the layers of the onion and instead be cutting it to make some wunderfool dish using it, you shall realise that you are an idiot who is a result of God’s mischief when He was a kid. (Yesh, God got naughty and created folks like these.)

    and the (hic)’s are my hiccups from over-consumption of illicit arrack, mixed wtih some tequila.

  21. Anu

    Wonderful post Megha. You rock!
    As for the Dxb Prasads of this world, better stay in your creepy little hole and hibernate forever, unless you want your sorry little rear to be kicked to posterity!!

  22. Suyog

    NIce :). Whatever others say about your pointless posts and existance, I think you should do just this – Afterall, there ARE people like me who think Asha Parekh’s posterior IS a serious issue and needs to be debated, with as much interest as Tushar Kapoor’s acting Skills or Ketka Kapoor’s dress sense. And its a wonderful world that there is a company hehehehe :)

    “Complex” – that had me in splits!

    Suyog

  23. Nandu

    Ooh, that hyphen in the title was VERY subtle……:). My sympathies for having to deal with losers. But frankly, I HONESTLY wonder, how do these ‘get-into-pants’ers believe that commenting on a particular blog is going to get them somewhere. One of the pleasures of reading a blog is that you have no idea whether the person at the computer next to you posted it just a few minutes before you logged in! And besides, VERY few bloggers I read disclose personal details regarding their lives on their blogs – which is fine by most of us – we read cause we like – not cause we’re hoping to sack with…..

    One final point – have you ever smelt/tasted goat’s milk? Apologies for quibbling, but IMHO, it stinketh to the high heavens. A bath in the stuff may improve complexion, but anyone attracted to you would need to be downwind…..:)

  24. aNTi

    What is it about a gal that makes some guys go ballistic?
    *start obligatory Hindi line to make psycho-schizo-lady here see red*

    Aakir ladki log bhi insaan hain?

    *End obligatory Hindi line*

    Now for the actually comments.

    Boys who comment here and have negative things to say about this blog just cos its a woman who’s writing here should really take a time-out and evaluate their life. I don’t think such people live a full life. Such people, once an urge to leave such comments arises, do the football count (i.e., say 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi and so on) or much better, start typing the same. If the urge still persists, do what the Famishius Vulgaris Ingeniusi rather unwittingly inflicts upon itself, i.e. shoot yourself, possibly on an extremity that should not see the rays of the sun in a crowded street.

    Dubai: You are outdoing yourself. Really. And make sure your wife reads what you write. And before you show your wife your blog, make sure your couch is soft enough to rest your butt and mebbe your other extremeties as well.

  25. qs.gemini

    Wow…it sure is getting hot in here!
    Megha, as usual a hilarious post – I am almost contemplating shutting down my blog, due to its sheer mediocrity – naaaah, maybe not…! :)
    A co-worker visiting from DC recently commented that Bostonians don’t have a sense of humor due to the frigid cold winters – I will direct her to your blog…!
    ….oh and btw, women (yes, straight women) also understand and appreciate good writing, and that is why some of us leave comments on your blog!cheers…and keep writing!

  26. Megha Post author

    [Rumpy] Na na, not my talent. The cretins who asked these questions are my true inspiration. Sniffle. So my emotional and snot-filled thanks goes out to them. And please please let me keep the Udita Goswami one for my FAQ – Part Two post? Pretty please? Of course I say that with such confidence cos I don’t have any doubts that writing this post is only gonna bring more losers out of the woodwork, so there WILL surely be a Part Two. Oh wait, looks like I spoke too soon about losers! :)

    [kallu mama] Are sahi! Well, since we don’t posess your street-style, we had to make do with this post instead ;) And welcome!

    [karan] Ah yes, the joys of comment moderation! Although I think, if my detractors were all just a figment of my imagination, that would be so much fun :) That way, I could make them perform voodoo tricks on themselves rather than my having to do it for them. Ooh, I likey!

    [Anurag] Oh, I didn’t answer that one? In that case, so glad you asked again. See, I’ve always believed that it is the way I flutter my two-inch long fake eyelashes, that does the trick. But someone once explained on their blog somewhere that it is actually cos I trade sexual favors for comments. Which is rather unfortunate, since Maybelline has been paying me good money all these days, for nothing! Poo pah. Oh well. they’ll adjust, I suppose.

    [Taz Snow] Aww thankee! :)

    So, I expect you shall continue to get much vituperation in the form of comments, and many more questions of questionable nature.

    Ooh yes, thank you thank you. Please hope that I do. That way, I can feed off them and continue to write more such posts!

    [Raj] Aww, c’mon now, do I seem so nasty to you that I’d do that? No wait, don’t answer that :) But yeah, comment moderation is a wonderful little joy in life!

    [Prerona] Thankoo :)

    [Andy E.]

    “you can fool some people all the time, but then the others would feel left out.”

    Ooh I likey! :) Well, it seems that all the people I targeted have one thing in common – they all LOVE to visit this blog, no matter how much they hate it. So I think this post will achieve its purpose quite well. (Which is not to quell the detractors, but to whup their ass, in case you wondered.) Flippant Fifteen says yello back, but sadly, Psycho Three has overheard. So if random bad things start happening to you, you know why. By the way, that Revathy one – Ugh. Didn’t I make it clear that only *I* am allowed to come up with drivel like that on this blog? Tsk tsk.

    [Senthil]

    *reaches out to picks up stick to throw at him and recoils hastily realizing the places that stick has been*

    Yes yes, we’ve never been in the habit of doing the conventional ‘hello’, what to do.

    [dxb prasad] Heh heh. I love it when someone puts a stick in my hand and bends over, showing me the ‘please kick me’ banner pinned to his ass. The simple joys of life, I tell you. Lets see – this post was written for losers like you, and you’ve managed to come here, leave an obnoxious comment on it, and establish to the whole world that you are indeed one. Nicely done. And and the end of it all, you are still such an optimist. ‘Read my latest post’, you say. Awww.

    - The chamiya/babe/chick/takaatak raapchick maal/female/gal/fembot who writes this blog

    [Raj] :) Thankoo!

    [sri] Yes, main aur mera laptop aksar ye baatein kartein hain. That and the fact that WordPress lets you date and time a post ahead of time to go live whenever you choose. And if you read my archives, you’ll know what kind of dreams I get. So there you go :)

    [Claytonia] Yes, Sobhana’s Pentamma was an inspiration behind the name :) Glad you caught it!

    [Falstaff] Was that an insult? Was that a compliment? Nah, an insult? No, a compliment? Damn, the daisies must hate you! Nah, have not read. Nice!

    [ideasgalore] Thankoo :)

    [Jay] Having a Technorati profile is not something only popular bloggers do. Technorati rankings run into six and seven digit numbers. And how popular a blog gets is not really in the blogger’s hands, else we’d all be Boing Boing. Also, a blog doesn’t get nasty comments only cos the blogger propagandizes their blog. It has a lot to do with the style of writing as well. Yes admittedly the more visibility you get, the more detractors you find, simply ‘cos people find your blog more easily. But your comment seems to have a tone of ‘by putting yourself on Technorati and being linked up in various places, you asked for it, so you cannot complain’. That I think is rather extreme.

    [Sriram] Arrey, when someone asked if I secretly get sexual gratification from my blog, my first response was – Really? You can do that? How come nobody told me! Damn! I seem to miss out on all the fun. Tchah!

    [viktor] Honey, didn’t I tell you not to drink and drive? And you’re gonna hurt someone with that gun, one of these days. Uff, boys and their toys, I tell you. *walks away shaking her head*

    [Hemlyn] Aww, I wub you doo! :)

    [witnwisdumb] Yes yes, it is much fun to be living our life, trust me :)

    [twinky]

    i actually went and read his post. apart from the atrocious syntax and soporific writing style, the content itself was the garbled output of an intellectually challenged, ranting, raving, Y-chromosome-stimulated-testosterone-induced mind, (provided we assume that is the organ that does the thinking for him).

    Provided we assume that there is an organ in the first place. Its ability for thought is .. well .. an afterthought.

    Yes, we thought you’d find a bright and shining example of the noodle, right here. Glad you made the connection! And thankoo much :)

    [Siriramoo] I don’t know about life and all but *I* describe myself as an onion often. Have multiple layers, peeling them leaves you in the end with nothing, and the entire process will make you cry. Enough to scare most people off.

    [Anu] Thankoo! :) Hope he gets the point!

    [Andy E.] Viktor came up with that one, actually. He may look all brawn with his shotgun and brusque talk, smells like hell thanks to the company he keeps, but underneath those frozen sardines, lies a smart mind.

    [Suyog] Ah, I feel much better knowing I’m not the only one who worries about these things :)

    [Nandu] Thankoo. Please to not be asking why the demented souls of the world believe what they believe. And you had to go spoil my royal fantasy for me, eh? Nah, never smelt goat’s milk. Just figured it would work better than a cow or a buffalo’s :)

    [Patrix] Thank you! Will do :)

    [aNTi] Aur kya psycho-schizo ladies insaan nahin hote? Huh huh?

  27. aNTi

    [Meg(h)aji]: Aap insaan nahi, maaha-insaan hain. Chamiya hain, raapchik maal bhi hain! :D
    Hum us comment (jo hum pehle chodey the) ke vaaste ek samjadhari ki baath samaj paayein hain. Woh kya hai ki, jab bhi hum yahaan aake, aapke likey huye post-on ko padna hai, thab uske pehle pet-puja karni hai. Dekho, aaj hum abhi abhi ghar vaapas aaye. Bina kaaye huye, is post ko pade, aur aapko psycho bole. Kyonki woh sahi baath hai, par public mein kehne waali baath thodi hai. Tho is liye hum sabko ek soochna baathana chaahthe hein. Yeh blog pan jaisi hai. Bina kaye, isko padein tho, aapko acidity hogi aur aap gaaliyan dene lagenge. Par pet puja hone ke baadh isko padenge, tho aapke pet mein digestion theek thaak hogi. Shukriya.

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  30. twinkletoes

    :o) thankooo berry mush..
    even in my twinklynailpolish-sniffing induced stupor, i can see mr dxb’s sexist, muchopathetico
    backside just begging for more…

  31. viktor

    wipes fish grime from his face [looking rather like hagrid in the harry potter movies].
    awww, grunt. you know how it is vith me and vodka. And you try driving around a truck full of frozen fish on a frozen road with the freezing vind bloving past your ears vithout varming yourself up vith a bit of vodka every now and then. as for the gun, i have already shovn how peaceful i am by sparing XXX’s ass.

  32. Megha Post author

    [qs.gemini] Nah, pliss to not shut down blog and all. One of these days, we’re still intending to take up that tag you sent our way. If we are bribed suitably, that is :) Glad to have you as a reader, and thank you for thinking so highly of our humor, despite our being a female and all ;) Now if only the triple-x Prasads of the world understood that.

    [aNTi] Wow! WOW! WoW! wOw! (It is no longer amazement, now i’m just trying combinations of letters, to see what it looks like.) Very very impressive! :) And now I can go around claiming to be the ‘Pan Parag in the meal of your life.’ Thankoo much :)

    [twinky] And if that is indeed so, we are not ones to disappoint, are we now? :)

  33. Ravages

    me no come hindi. me stick english only.
    me like post. me liked (some) comments better. me advice megha – more posts such like thees. me and me and me and other mes go bye bye now.

  34. Megha Post author

    [viktor] What is this, sweets? The one time I expect you to do some serious damage, you decide to be kind and all. Else your usual handiwork with that gun could put a certain big-shot vice-president to shame. Guess we really ought to sit down and have a talk about this matter. And another one about deodorants too, maybe? Sigh.

  35. kallu mama

    #Scene: chowpatty, Bombay….my (day job) pav bhaji stall

    –I walk out of my jhopdee in yellow shirt and a checked lungi….take out a service revolver…..bust a cap into dxb prasads left gluteus maximus…..he runs about in circles crying “aiiiiiaiii” in agony… I walk back with a smoking revolver..singing “Nayak naheeee Khalnayak hoon main..” ……..

    villain today hero tomorrow…:)

  36. viktor

    vat’s wrong vith the deodorant i bought in murmansk? (i forget the name – ‘stale scales’, vas it?)

  37. Megha Post author

    [Ravages] Arrey! Looky who’s here on our humble blog and all. We shall try, milord :)

    [kallu mama] And since this is the chamiya blog, you will have a bevy of babes going ooh-aah at your muskull-wuskull and ready to burst into dance at your mere nod. This is perfect :)

    [viktor] I knew there was something fishy about it! And here were trying to make a man out of you! BAH!

  38. viktor

    Awww, grunt. And I always thought you liked fish! (picks ear, finds a sardine head in it, and flicks it away). if you dont like it i vill change it. How about that other one – ‘spice of lice’?

  39. Megha Post author

    [viktor] You’d give up ‘stale scales’ for me, schnuckums? Really, poodles? Awww, I always knew you were a keeper! My cuddly-poo. Sighhh.

  40. viktor

    Somewhere in minsk, a supply truck driver throws up and chokes on his chunder. Tiny capillaries that supply blood to his brain explode, leading to severe haemorrhaging. Viktor dies a slow, painful death.

  41. Megha Post author

    Poor Viktor, may his soul rest in pieces. A little ditty to conclude this sad saga -

    Oh how the mighty rise, and how the mighty fall
    But let this be a lesson, learnt by one and all -
    Be sweet to us, and over you we will gush.
    Gross us out, and we will kill you with mush.

    *dusts her hands and walks away contentedly*

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