Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Vishesh Tippani
· 
Someone remarked recently about a dearth of Pancham related writing on my blog. For someone whose music I obsess about, I don’t seem to write enough dedicated posts gushing praise about him, pledging to name my first-born after him and such. The latter though, is an issue, not for a lack of love for Pancham but because a name has already been picked for the purpose. Yesh, like all girls, I too, have gazed wistfully ahead and picked a name for the futuristic apple of its maa ki aankh. Or rather, maa ki aaaunkkk if you are a Rajnikanth in Chaalbaaz (1989) fan.
So I’m thinking, that the kid should be called — ta-da! — Vishesh Tippani. Yesh. Mera naam Vishesh. Baap ka naam Tippani. That way, everytime people ask for my opinion, I have something to offer.
Person: Can I have your vishesh tippani (expert opinion) on this matter?
Me: *promptly deposit wailing baby in bewildered person’s lap*
Nice, no? We can call it Vishy for short or VT. (No, not Victoria Terminus — the Bombay station that sounds like a disease that killed the queen.) C’mon now, it’s not that bad. Just to put things in perspective for you, prior to the Vishy idea, we were considering naming them Kid1, Kid2 and so on. Or if we’re being gender-specific maybe, Dude1, Dudette2. So Vishy is pretty much an upgrade, we think.
Seeing as this kid will obviously grow up with matricidal tendencies, some of you readers are probably concerned about my future well-being. Not to fikar. It is inevitable that the kid is going to hate its mother for a zillion other things, so a couple of things here and there won’t matter. Really. And if you are feeling particularly sympathetic towards the kid, console yourself with Shakespeare’s ‘What’s in a name?’ Then again, with a name like Will Shakespeare, he probably stood in the schoolyard as a teenager, with a bullseye painted on him, so it is only understandable that he had a somewhat unemotional view of things.
Coming back to the person we are not naming our kid after — this post has gotten long enough already, so we’ll return in a few days with more gushing about his music. No no, we promise it won’t be weeks. The thumbtack of your waiting has started to prick at our balloon of conscience plenty, so we’ll be back much sooner. Really. Vishy ki kasam!
ps .. No, Vishy is NOT on his way. Don’t even THINK of asking, else heads will roll. Thankoo very much.
we do feel sorry for the kid…being teased by all kids in school and all…but that aside..your time starts now….lets see if its days..weeks or months :)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 5:27 PM
Did someone call me?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 7:23 PM
What Megha forgets to mention is that her Vishy is going to be in love with Ati Uttam. (My progeny)
As a result, the child of these two children (We are also convinced that this will be a gay couple. We wish nothing but happiness and gayness for our children as good parents.) will as a result be called Bilkul. Full name Bilkul Ati Uttam Vishesh Tippani. Megha and I are particularly excited that our children may meet in the neighbouring Akhada.
Please welcome Megha’s future Son-in-Law. (SIL). As Megha and I were discussing, the song they sing when they first meet each other will be Yaara SILly SILly. After their wedding night - they may even hum SILi hawa choo gayi. (It could also be after the first fart actually.)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 7:42 PM
[Megha], [Neha]
I can already imagine a Bollywood song picturized on VT and AU. They will be prancing around trees going, “Dekha ek khwaab to yeh SILSILe hue”
But alas, no love story is complete without some drama. VT will see AU hug Pankajavelli Ramadesigan, daater of Mr. S. Ramadesigan, Railway Officer (Retd.), Railway Colony, Madurai. (She’s “just friends” with him, in truth), and will start suspecting that he has switched sides.
He’ll go around breaking daaru ki bottles on sidewalks singing, “Accha SILa diya tuney mere pyaar ka”.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 7:59 PM
[Shiva] Just you wait, ‘enry ‘iggins! We’ll prove it to you by posting in less than a week this time. (Saying which she hurriedly sets back the atomic clock by a week.)
[Tarun] Er? Who be you?
[neha] Ayyo raama! Ouch! We did not forget about Ati. After he is our gonna-be son-in-law and we always intended to make that rishta happen. So what if I am a mother-in-law. Saasu bhi maa samaan hoti hai. (Sauce is also like mommy’s baggage.) And how could you not mention about Ati and Vishesh’s daughter and Bilkul’s sister. A fine lady to be named Kintu. Full name - Haalan Ki Lekin Magar Kintu Parantu. Magar, her life, is an altogether different story.
[heh heh] Ouch! That be priceless! Trust Panky to show up and become the bone in meat. And when Vishesh breaks bottles and sings achha SILa diya tune mere pyaar ka in Devdas style, Ati will respond with - SILSILa ye chaahat ka na maine bujhne diya. The doggy will go bow-wow and happiness will return once again.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 8:22 PM
[Megha]
My only hope is that our grandchildren go to very good schools and learn within their first 12 years to write their names without parental guidance. (Tall order!)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 8:27 PM
[neha] Or they could acronymize, I suppose? BAUVT and HKLMKP. Hmm. Its got to be better than that. You know speaking of sending our kids and grandkids to school is putting a rhyme in my head about Bilkul going to a Gurukul .. Build upon it please?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 8:33 PM
[Megha] You mean like BAUVT shukriya, Badi Meherbaani. Meri zindagi mein HKLMKP aaye? I suppose that might make love letter writing a bit easier. Bilkul in Gurukul sounds like the start of a very shady Malayalee movie no?
Should we (on that note curiously) tell the world about the Mega and Nega show?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 8:35 PM
[neha] Oh my goodness! You, my dear, outdo yourself! Yes, I think it is time to announce to the world about our plans for world domination through a podcast. The theme song of our soon-to-start show goes something like -
Megaaaaaaaaaa and Nega Nega Nega Nega Nega .. (echo effect)
The audience must remember that both names are pronounced with thick Southie accents (picked up from Pankajavelli Ramadesigan of course.) Also, Mega is pronounced with emphasis on the first half - Meeeeeeeega (like a goat) and Nega is pronounced as - Negaaaaaaaaa (more like a cow.) Quite the animal farm we’ll be. The Akhara will fit right into the picture, bootyfully so.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 8:42 PM
[Megha] My dear, people around here are going to suspect that we are *cough* much more than prospective in-laws. I am saying no more!
Mega and Nega present some tutti frutti broken idly piddly goodness to yuvar ears.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 8:45 PM
Hmm.. idhu seri ye illa.. Narayana Narayana! Anyhoo.. Mega and Nega….Kangarooolations for both of you.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 9:55 PM
If you really want a son with matricidal tendencies name him Norman Bates. That way you can say ‘My son Master…..’. And then, duck!!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 @ 10:58 PM
Not to be the Mazhai AKA rain in your Kaadu aka forest, but “Yaara SILly SILly” , “achha SILa diya tune mere pyaar ka” and “Dekha ek khwaab to yeh SILSILe hue†(see i copy pasted em all) are all copyright TIPS mujik, aka Taurani industries private something, hence Vishesh Tippani is to be renamed Taurani under baap ka naam division or be faced with prosecution from R.I.A.A, indian paternity act and sweaty sindhi lawyers in polyester coats. For some reason makes me wanna shout Zara si saavdhaani, zindagi bharr Tippani, but then thats jus me.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 1:03 AM
I am shuddering to think of whats gonna happen to VTs sister(dudette2) since I have decided to call my son Bulla (my homage to the greatest villain ever conjured up in Prabhujis movies)……….coming to think of it Prabhujis parents get killed as well so Megha dont tell me I didnt warn you!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 1:21 AM
Eesh and sheesh kabab, there ought to be a search button for this site, what if we wanted to search Bhuvan and well hung blankets for eg., would it bring aamir in lagaan with blanket on. Hmm
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 1:34 AM
Hey! I thought you called yourselves a programmer geek! For shame! All numbering should start at 0!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 2:07 AM
V-the-husband wanted to name our kids what would be roughly translated as Samosa and Chaat. So then, at mealtimes he’d get to hear, “Come and have your dinner, Samosa and Chaat!” It doesn’t translate so brilliantly into English, but you get the idea.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 4:53 AM
Very funny post. I am happy that soon you will be writing about Pancham. Waiting waiting …
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 6:48 AM
Baap ka naam Tippani.
Sigh. How soon we forget.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 7:51 AM
[megha]
wo my god…
vy, o vy do you have to make us loff and sputter ower chai (haat, we might add) yettanudder time…
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 10:40 AM
Megha: Have you considered calling the brat Bathwater? That way you could just throw the baby out and never have to worry about it again.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 12:25 PM
Q: Why was the Vishesh Tippani’s offspring regularly slapped by passing girls ?
A: Cos he will always be “Vishy-ling” for them
har har har har
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 1:06 PM
After reading about the Mega-Nega show, must say, hillllarious! BAUVT shukriya!!!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 2:34 PM
Vishy is NOT on his way
Not on his way where?
:D
Hilarious post!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 3:51 PM
[RJA] We verbalized the same question yesterday in a different manner and got an - Are you blind and illiterate? question back at us. Which, btw, was totally uncalled for since we had typed that question in English, no less!
We are waiting to see what you will get, by way of response. Given that line from you, we would want to bet on a Oh, RJA, you funny, funny, you! type of response.
[VC] Please decide if you are vc or VC. We would gladly advise you on due process to set one of those up for good.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 4:10 PM
[neha] Er .. um .. now that you put it like that .. *gulp* .. okie, me shall shuttup and start work on our pilot script. Now we just have to find a gullible audience .. *looks around innocently*
[anantha] What is not at all right? Our starting podcast show? Our wanting our kids to be happy? Our thinking up names for them? What part? :) And thankoo. Don’t get too happy or we might have you sing us windy windy and use it as a background track for the theme song or something.
[VC] Sigh. Groan. You know, it is humor like *this* that makes me feel better about my own. Heh heh.
[Saprem namaskar vinanti vishesh A.K.A Sa.Na.Vi.Vi] Ooooh! Heavy-duty name and all! Been ages since we were instructed to write a letter in Hindi. Brought back memories of matronly Gupta-ma’am and her inspired recitations of khoob ladi mardaani vo to jhaansi waali raani thhi. Subhadra Kumari Chauhan. Not that you needed to know that, but anyhoo. So where were we? Ah yes. At the risk of eliciting the ire of polyster-clad Sindhi lawyers wearing bindis, I believe none of these songs are actually from TIPS. (achha sila diya tune - T-Series, dekha ek khwaab - HMV, seeli hawaa choo gayi - Venus. Yes, we are a freak for remembering these things.) Although I’m sure there’s a Tippani somewhere out there who’s pretty pissed off that HE had first dibs on the name ‘TIPS’ and the Tauranis should have called their company ‘TaursRUs’ or something. But pissed-off Sindhis are probably a topic for a whole another day.
Zara si savdhaani, zindagi bhar aasani - a part of childhood that I had carefully suppressed and tucked away in some dark corner of my mind. Why O why did you have to bring it back, you evil Ludhiana boy with ‘black pulsar bike with aloy wheels’, you? (Priceless comment, by the way.) And K-bob, the search does exist. Not sure if the results are well-hung enough, but exist it does. Bottom of left panel.
[nightwatchmen] Yes, duly shivering in fright. I thought *I* was an evil person for wanting to name my kid VT. But having your kid walk in the footsteps of Mukesh Rishi?! Shudder. Sigh.
[Anon] You see, we didn’t want the kid to turn into Anil Kapoor aka Lakhan and start singing - Main hoon vo zero, haan haan haan zero! There are a lot of things we can forgive in our child, but an affinity for Subhash Ghai movies is not one of them.
[Sue] I think that’s an awesome idea! Here’s a little rhyme for you to use, if you’d like -
Come and have your dinner,
Samosa and Chaat,
Daddy made it just for you,
Get it while it’s hot!
We thought you’d appreciate how we subtlely dumped that task on V-the-husband.
[Raju] Yesh, I will. Got a little .. um .. sidetracked :)
[Tarun] Er? Oh? Oh! You mean there’s gonna be a papa-Tippani in the picture? Eeeks!
[Twinky] Here we are talking about tender mushy things like our maternal instincts and you loff at us, aa? Sniffle. There is no place in this world for genuine sentiment, I tell you. Glad it worked :)
[Falstaff] Hmm, now that is indeed a thought. Oddly, it reminds me of
Miss Mary had a baby, she named him Tim,
She put him in the bathtub, to see if he could swim,
He drank up all the (bath)water, he ate up all the soap,
He tried to eat the bathtub, it wouldn’t go down his throat.
Brat? Why would you EVER think that a kid of mine could be a brat? Tsk tsk.
[Brat] The mention of you, and there you are :) And sheeesh! Couldn’t you have just stuck with the whole SILly theme? Sigh.
[VC] Aww thankoo! Be careful though. By feeding the wild monkeys, you are encouraging them to continue the act!
[Rajesh]
To Chinchpokli, that’s where. There you go. Always happy to educate.
[Anantha] Oh yeah? We didn’t ask you yesterday if you were blind and illiterate. We asked you if you wanted to die. Quite a difference in the two questions, we think. And since you so proudly mention it, I’d like you to show us evidence that suggests that RJA repeatedly gets a ‘Oh, RJA, you funny, funny, you!’ response from us. What’s even scarier is the style of that sentence almost suggest a fluttering of our 2-inch eyelashes, and as you are aware, glueing them on takes considerable time, so we need to know.
Also, since you’re taking VC’s case, please to also decide if you are going to be ‘anantha’ or ‘Anantha’. Am sure VC will be happy to help with the transition from aNTi to anantha to Anantha to Climax. Yes we are still partial to our own creation, what to do.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 4:50 PM
[Megha]
— haha, that is funny. Not that your posts aren’t of quality, but I’d rather wait for the usual post than read one of your hurried ones because of commenter-pressure … if that’s even a word.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 5:20 PM
[Anti] Give me time….until one of my personalities kills the other.
[Megha] Whaattodoo! My sense of humor are there for one purpose only. To make others feel good about theirs. And pliss to continue the show with Nega.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 @ 7:56 PM
I just sent the husband the link to your post. I guess he might as well chuckle over it now instead of waiting for me to get home this evening and tell him about it.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 @ 1:41 AM
Flashback:
Meri baaye aankh phad phadaa rahi hai.Mera naam kisine liya!!! Mujhe koi pukaar raha hai….hanh…main aa raha haoon…aa raha hoon main….Swoosh.
And then the “Vishy-ling” happened.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 @ 8:33 AM
Praying for your child!! :-)
Cheers,
HP
Thursday, May 18, 2006 @ 12:21 PM
So, the kid will be found one day telling an attractive gult (;)) some day, “My name is Tippani, Vishesh Tippani”. Bravo for not picking up a vishy-vawshy common name for the kid.
Ma ki ankh? Sounds suspiciouly like pnaaaaaaa. (Sorry, that’s sensoring for you)
Thursday, May 18, 2006 @ 2:09 PM
Your haanar, the counsel concedes that no evidence can be found that would indicate that your haanar is guilty of favoring favorable comments. Counsel requests motion to be dismissed due to lack of supporting evidence and prays that your haanar would not pull us up for contempt of court. However, counsel declares that according to knowledgable sources, 2 inch eyelashes are detrimental to the mental well being of our society. Accordingly, counsel wishes to table a motion requesting your haanar to cease wearing false eyelashes for the greater common good of society.
As for the name, counsel declares that he has never ever stood for anti climax and wishes to convey to all concerned that as far as he is concerned, satisfaction for one and all is guaranteed. In fact he wishes to add satisfaction to the list of rights guaranteed by the constitution of India to all its citizens.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 @ 4:06 PM
Rajnikant’s “maa ki aankh” was priceless! I thought he was absolutely hilarious in that movie, though it’s hard to tell how much of it was intentional.
Vishesh Tippani, huh? Well, considering he’ll be the only Telugu-Sindhi kid in the country, he’s going to be ‘vishesh’ in any case. Imagine going “Vadi Sai, Jhulelal” in a Telugu accent. (Now I’m wondering why one never sees any Telugu-Sindhi couples. Maybe it’s because of that Telugu sex-appeal that you so skillfully de-constructed).
Doesn’t look like too many people got the Will Shakespeare bit. But then again, that’s probably because not many people think like immature 13-year old boys with very little on their minds. I’m surprised you thought of it.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 @ 8:07 PM
Stands up jaldi se (stands corrected), didnt know ud sneakily verify the antedescants of every mujik company out there to take away the TIPS taurani angle, tsk tsk.
Btw in a telugu sindhi combo, would gongurra chutney win over sai bhaji? (incidentally sai bhaji involves green leafy thingies too n equally yumm)
Would vishesh want a hybrid gongsai chutney?
Is pappu n avakkai better than papad n achaar ?
How would vishesh stand up to a deadly combo of interfering telugu mamas on one side and suspicious sindhi aunties on other?
What if bachelor Kuppalli Venkatappa Puttappa mama and slinky chiffon pammi aunty from the other side of the divide meet n decide to elope, would Vishesh be blamed. Even worse, would he have to play with thier progeny if any .
Would saying “ekkada ra, randi” to sindhi aunties make em run away hands flailing , shrieks in air (hehe, couldnt resist that one).
Would vishesh take to wearing ulhasnagar made blue checkered lungis with silver lining for jhag mag effect?
Would he burst into sudden shouts of ‘Ayyoyyo Jebulo Dabbulu Poyena” or “Ayoyo Jhulele, ayo ayo jhulele”?
Would he emulate Govinda (sindhi)(yeps hes an ahuja) or Chiranjeevi ? (Either way he would wear yellow pants and blue shirts)
hehe and last but not the least, “Aapko mere saamanya gyaan par koi vishesh tippani karni hai ?” Amitabh To Ranjeet in Namak Halal. (BTW do a google search on vishesh tippani, you megha are ze famous!)
Friday, May 19, 2006 @ 2:10 AM
Q: Why did everyone at school keep away from Vishy’s offsprings?
A: Because they were officially Vish-kanya and Vish-purush
Hee Haw…I kill myself… (just an expression…dont get your hopes too high)
Friday, May 19, 2006 @ 2:16 AM
Hehhe,
I think VT is a fab name megha…on ur blog after a long time and as usual enjoyed reading it!
I remmeber once I was fantasizing abt naming my kids when I was in blore…as da and ra!…or cici and fifi…heheh!:-)
crazy!
Friday, May 19, 2006 @ 5:00 AM
I think you should name your kid Chatur Sampoorna Tippani (CST) just to keep the Shiv Sainiks happy..
Friday, May 19, 2006 @ 10:09 PM
Hi, I reached your blog following a great big universe of links. Anyway, I wanted to say I think its the most unique blog I have read, loved it, will continue to read it and please continue to mock, rant, laugh, quote unquote, unleash sarcasm and bollywood drama inspired posts. The important things which you talk about between the hilarity make your blog a goodie bag worth savoring. Great blog!
Saturday, May 20, 2006 @ 3:42 PM
Wadi sai, my greetings to all my brothers and their sisters.
I am very proud to invite all of you wonderful people to my new diamond jewellery shop at Hyderabad. No, no, this not the Hyderabad in Sindh. Unfortunately our ancestral land in that wonderful city was taken away from our respected grandfathers and grandmothers in 1947, when they were told that our motherland Sindh is no longer part of India, but is part of Pakistan! But our grandfathers and also our grandmothers wanted to have Indian passports and live in India - see, it is closer to Hong Kong na - so they came and settled down in Ulhasnagar, our new motherland. But now people tell me that Ulhasnagar is in USA, so I decided I would open my shop in the other Hyderabad, which is in India in Andhera Pradesh. But the bright, bright diamonds in my diamond shop will make people want to rename it to Batti (light) Pradesh. Afterwards, we will open a second branch in Ulhasnagar also. So what if it is in USA? We will have world-wide branches. Today Hyderabad, tomorrow Ulhasnagar, day after tomorrow Hong Kong!
By the grace of Jhulelal, I am hoping that you my friends will all come and buy big big diamonds from my diamond shop which will open on Cheti Chand day. If you don’t know when Cheti Chand is, shame on you! Look in Sindhi calendar and you will find out.
To make it easier for you all to remember that it is my shop, I am going to name my shop Tippani’s, thereby also giving respect to the name given to me by my dear mother who I love so very much. After all who can make Dal Pakwaan like her? In tribute to her I am also making a movie which I will call Dal Pakwan at Tippani’s starring Aftab Shivdasani, and Sameera Reddy. All of you must come and see this movie.
Okay now I will be going and phoning Runa Laila so that she can come and sing Dumadum mast kalandar for the opening of my shop.
Goodbye to you all, and may Jhulelal’s blessings be with all of you.
Jai Shri Krishna.
Saturday, May 20, 2006 @ 5:03 PM
[(s] Happy to know that there are folks who willingly wait for this nonsense. You have my choicest sympathies :) But I must ask you - what makes you think that any of my posts are written cos of commenter-pressure? It should be pretty apparent that regardless of whether my readers ignore me, or ask me to write, I write pretty much at the same frequency :)
[VC] First you kill your own humor to make ours look good. Then you willingly invite harm on yourself and encourage Mega-Nega. You are too generous and selfless for your own good, I tell you. Total milk of human kindness overflowing and what not :)
[Sue] Ah goodie! Pliss to make sure he reads the Samosa-Chaat poem verse we wrote for you too.
[Brat] Hmm. A behavior that is usually attributed to the Devil, I believe?
[Hariprasad] Thankoo. He/she/it will need it :)
[Fleiger] No no. The kid is not going to be line-maroing some attractive Gult. Vishy’s fate is already linked with Neha’s kid - Ati Uttam. VT and AU even have a name picked out for their offspring - Bilkul Ati Uttam Vishesh Tippani. For more information on highlights of their romance, songs being sung on suhaag raat, names of their siblings et al, please to refer to the first ten comments on this post :)
[Anantha] Phew, thank you. You had me worried for a while, you know. Now, just ‘cos you are so nice, I shall get rid of my two-inch long eyelashes. Do I have to throw out my candy-pink nailpolish too? And my turquoise blue glitter eyeliner? Oh please don’t make me get rid of all those! Its like .. uh .. you know .. so rad and all! *obvious giggle*
[Andy E] The dig at the bard’s name was a pretty common one, I thought? Have known a lot of people who have made references to it. Or maybe the problem is that I know too many immature 13-year olds with very little on their mind. Including myself. Tsk tsk.
And ooh yes, we loooove Chaalbaaz. It remains one of those few movies that we’ve watched enough number of times that we can liberally quote dialogues from. Be it singing and dancing to aaj Sunday hai, aaj Sunday hai .. to din mein daroo peene ka day hai .. or making saucer-eyes and explaining to people - main madira nahin peeti ji, this movie provides us with ample ammo to cause a riot.
[Saprem namaskar vinanti vishesh A.K.A Sa.Na.Vi.Vi] (See, we can also copy-paste.) You insult us greatly by suggesting that we sneakily verified music labels. I thought it was apparent to all by now, that our mind is full of such utterly useless information that we resurrect at key moments for the express purpose of continuing a pointless discussion, just cos it is so much fun. Tsk tsk. As for all your questions ..
Kya Vishesh gongsai chutney ko patent karega? Kya bachelor Venky mama aur kunwaari Pammi aunty ka milan hote hote reh jayega? Kya Govinda aur Chiranjeevi ke tailor masters ek hi hain? - In sansanikhez aur hairat-angez sawaalon ka hal jaan-ne ke liye padhiye - Daaymand Kaamix! *cue song - Chunnu padhta Daaymand Kaamix, Munni padhti Daaymand Kaamix, mazedaar ye - Daaymand Kaamix! Daaymand Kaamix!*
[Brat] *cackles out loud and then goes hunting for her baseball bat*
[ekta] Excellent plan. I quite like Da and Ra, although Cici and Fifi sound a leetle bit like pet Poms, no? Nice to see you back after ages! Drop in more often :)
[Anon] Ooh nice! But considering that this kid is going to be gay, I think that’s a lost cause already :)
[nidhi] Thank you! Glad you like! Welcome to the madhouse that is this blog, and hope to see you around often :)
[Vishesh] Er, where did you show up from, beta-lal? You are supposed to be the futuristic apple of its maa ki aankh, remember? I need to have a talk with this red swing (Jhule-lal) of yours, pronto. And such is the fate of Breakfast at Tiffany’s in a Sindhi’s businessman’s hands, eh?
Sunday, May 21, 2006 @ 5:14 PM
That’s incredible! I swear I was about to mention “aaj Sunday hai” and “main madira nahin peeti ji” and only refrained partly because I wasn’t sure anyone would know what I was talking about and partly because I recalled promising not to make any more movie references after a particularly nasty one involving Revathi. But since I typically tend to not be too good at keeping promises and you seem to be particularly good at remembering crazy parts of inane movies, I wanted to see if you remembered “Gaundhiji ne kaha tha na ji” and a much less obvious one in “No rehearsal, striiite show”. In fact, I remember the latter one only because while watching it, I had no clue what the dude had said. It wasn’t until a Tamil-knowing aunt ‘translated’ for me (between peals of laughter herself), that I figured the word whose pronuniciation had amused everyone was “straight”.
PS: BTW, I hope you weren’t affected in any way by all those floods in the NE area
Sunday, May 21, 2006 @ 6:50 PM
Wunderbar! My prayers have been answered. I was despairing that I will ever have a worthy sidekick. Please ensure that said Tippani-putra grows tres rapidement. I have already ordered purple tights, yellow chaddi and red cape. (p.S the cape shall be flowing with the possibility of turning into a wing a la Batman). The Hero cycle (with stainless steel carrier) will be in soon. I leave the design and colour of the boots to you, the mother. The mask is standard issue.
Once we have gone through the CG Boot Camp he shall be as proficient in playing “goti” as me. Verily he shall cause a tear of pride in your eye.
All that remains is your agreement in this noble cause. Crime (especially jewel heists) has fallen to despicable depths. Crimemaster Gogo needs to rise again for the good of Crime. Please consider.
Sunday, May 21, 2006 @ 7:52 PM
[Andy E] Now now, we kinda regard the Revathy bit as your .. um .. USP. So please to break promises and entertain us with more of the same :) And now that you got us started we have so much more to add! We vividly remember no namoona, striiiite show so very well! Not to mention the raste mein vo khada thha song sequence that follows. But speaking of song sequences, our favorite in the movie remains - na jaane kahaan se aayi hai for the way it is picturized. Sridevi might be on the healthier side in this one, but she was so very in her element! The chhayega baadal zulfon ka to paagal tujhe banaa dega line, where she tries to chaaofy her zulf only to realize that her hair is too short .. or again in the lines aaram se baitho paas mere darne ki koi baat nahin, main tumse pyaar karoon mere aise to bure haalat nahin when she does the bhikhari-baba bit and one of the sideys puts a coin in her hand. Little touches that make it such a joy to watch!
And there are so many more endearing and nonsensical moments in the movie. Like the scene where Sunny Deol and Sridevi are sharing a romantic moment when he pretends to be sick and stays over at the haveli -
*Sunny holds her in his arms*
Sridevi: *coy giggle* chhodo na ..
Sunny: *grin* nahin ..
Sridevi: *coy giggle again* chhodo na ..
Sunny: *lets go of her*
Sridevi: *muttering* dhat teri ki .. chhod diya!
Heh. Of course the song that follows - tera beemar mera dil, mera jeena hua mushkil, karoon kya haaye is special for us cos of its literal English translation (unplugged version) that we like to sing. And since we cannot do justice to it by typing it, we got a little carried away :)
Or that priceless moment when Manju says she will be all-India star and giggles, and Rajni repeats her line and goes - voll eendia starrr .. ee hee hee to imitate her giggle. Howlarious! Or when her karzdaar all come to collect money from her. And the following moment happens:
Sridevi: Vo .. meri maa .. *sniffle*
Karzdaar: Kya hua teri maa ko?
Sridevi: Vahi jo Devdas mein Dilip Kumar ko aur Anand mein Rajesh Khanna ko hua thha ..
Karzdaar: Kya? Superhit?
Sridevi: Na .. cancer .. *sniffle*
Now see what you went and did! :)
Thankoo for asking about the floods. Things were messy rather close to home, with streets closing, cars submerged upto their windshields, roads crumbling apart and all. But we got lucky thanks to living at the top of a hill (which we whine plenty about when ice-storms happen) so we were quite safe from the water. Of course a week of non-stop rain inspired us to think of Vishesh Tippani, but besides that, no other major damage happened.
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 12:26 AM
[Crimemaster Gogo] Ooh, can the cape have an inverted V in metallic gold? I think the inverted V will be thoda hatke and will double up as an indicator of direction, if he were to decide to fly. And of course, you have my immediate agreement in this matter. It is not everyone’s son that CG comes personally to recruit, so we are feeling rather special. Along with the agreement, we’ll throw in our blessings and the five extra packets of Maggi (Masala) that have been languishing in our kitchen. So yes, please to be the Drona to our Arjuna. After all, if you ever need to teach him single-minded focus on his target, you could simply lend him your eye-patch.
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 12:33 AM
Hey, thats a really, really nice name. Tho dude1 etc wasnt too bad.
Wrt matricidal tendencies, that pic of the wailing baby reminds me of Stewie. Btw, is that photo still supposed to represent you or is Vishy going to look exactly like his mom as a child?
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 4:45 AM
[Raj] Thankoo thankoo. Yes, I quite liked the Kid and Dude series, cos they don’t do bhed-bhaav. As for the wailing kid, it represents both me as a kid and my kid. The logic being that (a) my kid won’t have much of a chance to escape my genes and (b) all wailing kids look the same. Oh, by the way, the artist considers it to be a huge compliment that the doodle reminded you of Stewie :)
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 8:10 AM
Lol, if “heart is sick of you” is really your voice, you sound like sridevi! (dunno if that’s a compliment)
Maybe youve “internalised” her voice by the one toooo many chalbaaz repeats watched.
Btw was vishesh born Ala Karna , did u look up at chiranjeevis poster and recite any magical mantras , or was it chiranjeevi n govindas posters together ;-)
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 12:28 PM
[Sa.Na.Vi.Vi] Yes yes, very much. And if you hear me sing aaj Sunday hai to din mein daroo peena ka day hai I will sound like Rajnikanth as well. So there. And what part of futuristic maa ki aaunk are you peoples not getting? Tsk tsk.
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 7:20 PM
and now ladies and gentlemen we have to listen to her songs !! :p good job though :) and by the way, at the end of the song, was it a try on some special effects ;)
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 7:33 PM
[ShivA] Yesh, we figured our words were not effective enough, so we decided to (gently) introduce our unsuspecting audience to sound. And yes, it was my neighbor’s dog looking for water.
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 7:43 PM
Done. I guess the only thing that is left is, how to put it…, create (?) the progeny. Please inform when that is done. Hopefully Crimemaster Gogo wont have to wait too long. Its summer and my outfit is a bit hot you see…
(I can use the Maggi. Danke.)
Monday, May 22, 2006 @ 9:11 PM
There is something fishy abt vishy…
some important questions abt ur expert baby…
1) Will u bring him/her up or will u let him/her be brought up by the experts (God knows who)
2) Will u send him/her to school or will u let him/her be tutored at home by the experts
3) Will u get him/her married to a 3 time divorcee since she/he/he/she will probably be an expert at marriages (probably more so at breaking them)
4) What will he/she be naming his/her kid
Lot more but as of now these are my main concerns :)
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 @ 8:41 AM
Hey I am planning to make a movie on your son by internalising Hugo Weavings last movie. Read more about it here. Amongst other things it will have an item number of yours (of course only if you consent to it). I would have commented but it was getting too long……And of course Neha has a role as well(again cotingent to her agreeing to do it :) )…….
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 @ 10:14 AM
Now, if this post was a few decades old, and your son-to-be wasn’t gay, and he had inherited your sense of humor, I would have begged him to “be my lover, Tippani!”. :) Only IF…
You are too funny! BTW, great voice too - and thanks for reminding me of Chalbaaz, one of my all time favorites!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 @ 9:00 PM
[Crimemaster Gogo] You shall be amongst the first to know. (Said with the same emotion as Jai telling Mausi - khandaan ka pataa chalte hi bataa doonga.) But considering this is a whole lot of future planning, I wouldn’t hold my breath, waiting for Vishy’s arrival, if I were you. Then again, with an outfit like that, holding your breath would probably be a bad idea for a hundred other reasons, as well.
(Din mein jab bhi chahe ji, khaaye mazedaar Maggi, snack banao ya bhojan, bas Maggi Maggi Maggi!)
[Sumod] Okay, here we go -
1) He is an expert opinion himself, so there will be no need for any experts intervening. I shall do the bringing up.
2) Too much expertise isn’t good. A simple paathshaala it shall be.
3) He is marrying Neha’s kid Ati Uttam. Pliss to see first ten comments on this post for details.
4) Vishesh and Ati’s son will be named Bilkul. Bilkul Ati Uttam Vishesh Tippani. They will also have a daughter named Kintu. Not to be confused with Kunti, cos that’s a whole different epic story.
Does that put your concerns to rest? :)
[nightwatchmen] Sigh. All these years I have spent trying to tutor people in Bollywood fundas, and such a big faux pas on my blog itself? Tch tch, ghor anyaay, and all that. Nopes, I cannot do an item number. The very thought is blasphemous. Scandalous! You see, I am the mother. I am Nirupa Roy. I am already setting the stage for Vishy to be able to say the all-too-famous mere paas maa hai. At best, I could be an understanding mom, a la Reema Lagoo. Or I could be haughty, proud, wear a big bindi and lots of makeup and be Smita Jaykar. And trust me, nobody .. and I do mean *nobody* .. wants to see any of these fine ladies do item numbers. If I had to have my way though, I think I’d like to be Nutan in Meri Jung. That way, Vishy could pound on the piano, look up to me and say gaao naa maa, I could have a sudden moment of flashback and burst into zindagi har kadam ik nayi jung hai, and all would be well in the world once again.
[qs.gemini] Aww, thankoo .. *blush blush* By saying such nice things you are encouraging me to post an entire recording of me singing ek chidiya anek chidiya or something extreme like that. So please to be careful :) By the way, your ‘be my lover, Tippani’ reminded me of the lines - ‘feel your bountyyy! touch your bountyy! don’t be shy my hunneeeey! oye feel your bountyyyyy’ in a solid hearty Sardar accent. Please tell me that song rings a bell? Else we’ll be happy to tell you more :)
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 @ 8:42 AM
Hi Megha,
Wonderful blog! Never thought gults could be so cool. Look forward to some Telugu inspired writing. Will keep reading.
Best wishes,
Nandini
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 @ 9:40 AM
The links are fixed. I am probably even lazier, using a Linux machine means copy pasting is much more easier and just did the pasting of the link which I was reading for the comments. By the way my inspiration for the mothers role came from this movie. So you see I am on solid bollywood ground.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 @ 10:07 AM
[Nandini] This blog guarantees you nonsense, although it may not always be Gult-inspired. Glad you dropped in and nice to have a new reader in you :)
[nighwatchmen] Waitaminnit! Mahima has, what in reviewer parlance would be called, the ‘author-backed role’. And you call that an inspiration and yet reduce us to an item number? We intend to steal more screen time, much like your Mitali tries to steal your Raj. Please to add a couple of power-packed dialogues (like the following) to the script, at the very least.
Vish: Mom, I am going to be out hunting black bucks with Salman tonight.
Me: Heh, you wish!
Vish: Yes, I am Vish. But what’s your point, ma?
Damn, I think I am in the wrong profession.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 @ 3:17 PM
[Megha] Ek chidiya would be great!
Please tell me that song rings a bell? Else we’ll be happy to tell you more
Nope, doesn’t ring a bell at all! *embarassed* Please to enlighten!!! Thanks for dropping by my blog!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 @ 8:18 PM
[qs.gemini] Oooh! You don’t know the song I am talking about? Then you will be thanking me for this, I assure you! :D There’s this British chick group called Rouge that has a song called ‘Don’t Be Shy’. The song itself is your usual dance floor number. But the song has a Remix version, done in a hearty Surdy accent that is positively delightful! Sure to cheer up a dull day! Tell if you want and we’ll send :)
Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 8:23 AM
neki aur pooch pooch - please to send! :) Could do with some cheering up today!
Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 10:10 AM
http://www.raaga.com/channels/hindi/artist/Rouge.html
didnt expect raaga to have it lol…..thought will save you some work :p
Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 10:40 AM
did someone say video? http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2921574219105770803&q=russell+peters ;)
Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 10:48 AM
[qs.gemini] The links for the original song (both audio and video) have been provided generously by Shiva. Now to find a way to get the Remix version to you. Oh by the way, to give due credit, I discovered this song thanks to the same person who you’re planning to elope to Vegas with, just to save money ;)
[Shiva] Thankoo thankoo for the link. But I need the Surdy remix version, pliss! Anyone know if there’s a source online?
Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 4:56 PM
[ShivA] thanks for your generosity….!
[Megha] Ooops - now my secret is out! Hai daiyya!!! *blush*
You really thought I will elope? Naaaah - that was my ploy to not get married AND save money. After all finance background hai - all financial analysis was done before putting the offer on the table! :) Man, I’m good, if I say so myself! *graciously bows and leaves*
Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 7:30 PM
Now you tell me..! I just read your response and was holding my breath all this time. People were asking me about my blue complexion. Very well then, the search for CG::sidekick(); will continue. Till then I will revert to my mild mannered public identity. (Also there are no phone booths close by, so it was becoming dashedly difficult to change in an emergency.)
@qs.gemini
I also has phynance bekgrond. You wants to make frendsip with me? We can both of us discuss it things like NPV and opshuns and drevativs.
Saturday, May 27, 2006 @ 1:11 PM
Frankly, its all your doing…so unless you come up with a new post i shall keep vishtfully persevering at cracking vishious PJs. Here the next one…
Q: Why do you think VT (or CST, by running the name change algorithm) owuld make a good news reporter?
A: Cos whatever he covers will be “Vishesh Samachar”
Heee Haaaw.
And one more…
Q:Which game does VT/CST love most?
A:Vish-amdrud (thats “lock and key” for those wih IQ at a slightly lesser advantage than an Oyster)
Sunday, May 28, 2006 @ 5:21 AM
[Crimemaster Gogo] Oh sure! See, I always knew studying finance will come in handy! I LURVE talking about opshuns and drevativs. In fact I recently finished my thesis on Call and Put options in Relationships, the preview of which was posted on my blog. I plan to present the paper at the World Phynance Meet to be held behind the local paan ki dukaan! You are welcome. :)
Sidenote: Are you related to Goga Kapoor of the dramatic desi villain fame? :p
Sunday, May 28, 2006 @ 8:15 AM
@qs.gemini: We have paan ki dukaan in US of A? Where? I have been dying to have a “Chutki”. Its been many a year since I gazed at the fotu of the chick on the blue packet.
We will be interested in your theories. I didnt know one had options in relationships!
@Cloud: I am being confused with Goga Kapoor. Shakti Kapoor must be rolling in his grave. Wait…he is not dead yet is he? See, this is why I need to revamp my image and arise with sidekick in tow. I request you to expedite this Tippani putra matter and put it in “vishesh” category.
Sunday, May 28, 2006 @ 11:54 AM
Vishesh Tippani: Time for a new post! :-)
Monday, May 29, 2006 @ 2:07 AM