Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Waaaa! I didn’t win!
· 
What? Don’t look at me like that with those accusatory, how-could-you-let-us-down eyes! It’s all your fault! Yes, you, you and especially you, hiding in the corner! You had a hundred new Gmail account invites available. Not one, not two. A hundred! But did you use them? Noooo. Who were you saving them for? Your grandmother? Even her dog has a Gmail account now. woofwoof@gmail.com. So there.
You could have hired some heavies to beat up innocent voters, no? No. Too much hard work, it seems. Did you at least try to surreptitiously hack into the poll and delete votes to tilt the result in my favor? Of course not. You had to go develop ethics and and a sense of propriety and wotnot. You big saint-with-halo-around-head, you. So then? I didn’t win. Are you proud of yourself now? Are ya? Are ya?
I had a good mind to classify you all into three flattering groups —
- Lazy bums. Cannot bring themselves to vote.
- Traitors. You know who you are and I don’t want to know who you are.
- Clueless. Cannot retrieve poll link from their spam folder in Gmail.
But my faith in you may be stirred, but is not shaken. You see, I came in second and third! Which, as any patriotic Indian watching the Olympics will tell you, counts. By golly, it does. My optimism (and not my denial, I’ll have you know) tells me, that the votes probably got split because people were overwhelmed by the blinding brilliance of the two designs but couldn’t pick both.
Plus, as I always say — true genius is often underappreciated, so my not being valued is simply an indication of my profound genius. And thus with a heavy heart I humbly accept the burden. Now I just need to find some bubbly to drown myself in.
Regular programming returns soon. Oh shuttup. Don’t snigger.
Heh. Snigger. Also, yay, i’m first!
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 12:24 AM
I was not even nominated. I AM A genius.
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 12:39 AM
Dang it Megha! How did you know I had a hundred gmail invites in my inbox?! Brr…I am verry scarred! ( and a leetil scared too!)
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 1:51 AM
“true genius is often underappreciated” - very true, very true. But you know why you didn’t win? You didn’t win because you did not recognize genius, not only after seeing it, but also after having created it yourself! You design blogchaat, and not realizing what magnificence you have achieved, go and ask people to vote for A walk in the clouds! If you’d only asked them to vote for blogchaat, you would have won! I mean, combining forces: me with you, you, and you, we’d surely be a formidable enough voting-machine, and you could have won! But you never listen to me…
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 2:29 AM
I told you I wont vote again lest this should happen.I asked for recounting and they deducted 30 other votes from your bucket and hence I didnt ask for more recounting a la Florida.
Anyways formally there was a support group for protesting the result that was formed and I made my humble contribution to that. Apart from that I shall come to cambridge to rally the troops in the area for a one-day hunger strike against such injustice.
Failing all which, we have a couple of people lined up who would burn themselves a la mandal style.Lets see after all this, if they still stick to their guns (in which case Molotov Coctails shall be exploding on their heads as opposed to in their heads)
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 2:54 AM
Doan blame me. It said click to vote and I clicked away with both hands like blind beggar with two flat pieces of stone on a Mumbai local. Till they came and threw me out of the netcafe sayin they couldna stand the noise.
I tell ya, fingers still aching from all the clicking. I don’t see how the gremlins inside the machine could fail to register my votes.
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 4:17 AM
Except for greatbong, mera ek bhi ghoda nahi jeeta… What can one man do in this country of billions? :(
That said, it’s the number of medals that counts. So you win anyways :D
*Regular programming returns soon.*
Another election promise after the elections?
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 9:04 AM
Now is the time to say ‘Who cares about Indibloggies, anyway? (shrug)’ and hope people will forget all about it in about 365 days’ time.
More importantly, how about including the ‘RPRS’ tag to the one-liners display below the blog’s name? (it is currently displaying ‘may contain traces of peanuts’) ;)
I don’t know if we are still allowed to say snigger in New York, so until that clears up, I’m not writing snigger. Heh!
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 11:40 AM
Heh, the long comments are baaaaaack! Hee haw!
[heh heh] Well well well, look what the cat dragged in! Long time no see and all that :)
[Ravages] Wait, weren’t you on the Indibloggies jury or something? Doesn’t that make you an Indi-genius or some such hoo-haa? In any case, I declared you to be a Shilpa Shetty a long long time ago, and you still had doubts about your genius till today? Tchah. Nobody values the titles I confer on people anymore :(
[shub] Arrey baba, the entire purpose of starting this blog is world domination. If I am trying to achieve mind-control, I should at the very least have mailbox-control no? Maybe now people will start taking my mission statement more seriously.
[witnwisdumb] See, that wouldn’t have made any sense. If I was asking my readers to vote for a blog other than mine then at least I should show a semblance of grace and ask them to vote for someone else’s design. Asking them to vote for blogchaat would have been like the proverbial dhobi ka kutta (not woofwoof@gmail.com, that is Grandma’s not the dhobi’s) - neither here, nor there.
[Paddy] Ufff! I knew it had to be your fault somehow. You are not supposed to ask for recounts! Has history taught you nothing? Plus that’s all too Americanized anyway. Stick to your desi roots and go the Laloo way. Hire some heavies, steal ballot boxes in the middle of the night, threaten the jury .. c’mon, these are tried and tested techniques and the world’s largest democracy is being run by people elected through these techniques, so it must have some merit, right? Sheesh, the youth of today has no value for one’s own culture, I tell ya.
Thank you for the donation though. Sniff. Your support, even if just pennies, counts.
[FourthEstate] But the burning question of the moment is - did you put on your best Rafi voice and bawl chaahoonga main tujhe saanjh savere along with the clicking? Or better, don a Kumar Sanu voice and sing tuuuuuuuu meri zindagiiiii hai? Lame Bollywood songs bring this blog a lot of luck, if that wasn’t already apparent. Else your clicking is like a naya paisa at the bottom of a old coconut shell - cool in theory, but of no value whatsoever in reality. So there.
[Fleiger]
That is precisely why Dilip Kumar sang inspiringly in Naya Daur, while a coy Vyjayanthimala made big-big-eyes at him for his virile studliness -
ek akelaa thak jaayegaa, mil kar bojh uthaanaa
saathii haath badhaanaa
Anyway, you do realize that since you people did not make me win, I don’t need to stick to *any* of my election promises, right? Still, I am nothing if not nice, so I shall try. Sniffle.
[Vasu] Yes, awards-shawards are for the common people, I am above all this, I only care about being able to make my readers smile and nothing else .. have dutifully recited them all, and am hoping you are gullible enough to buy them :) And awesome idea! Have promptly added ‘RPRS’ to the rotating taglines, so pliss to see! (You can click on the tagline text to see the full list, by the way.) And feel free to suggest more :)
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 1:40 PM
>:) Bigger booooooooooooooooooooo………..
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 1:43 PM
[Manoj] Uff. *shakes head* My readers make me feel so grown-up and mature :)
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 1:57 PM
This post reminded me of this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YbuW0qgLKk
you are not a genius nor a celebrity, you are a lezend (which is not a compliment in the telugu movie circles btw)
Bonus material - Megha shtar’s kharismatic, pawarphul response - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vm9LzIPtGE
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 2:30 PM
I have been reading some of ur blogs lately .. i have to say.. i find ur posts absolutely hilarious .. and this last post of urs takes the cake .. ur blogs are really a welcome break from work .. unfortunately i did not read ur indibloggies post, otherwise u wud have definitely got my vote, don’t know if it wud have helped though! and yes, you ARE a genius!
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 6:39 PM
If it means anything, we still think you’re the bestest.
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 7:29 PM
[deitaDi] Thankoo so very much! Your personal potshots at my legendary status notwithstanding, this link will finally give me a chance to make all the people who cribbed about my Gult Attractiveness Quotient post, eat dirt. Avar film industry is not for onebody, it is for everybody, he says. I am going to make sure I remember and reuse those words in a future post. And boy, is it hard to not be swept away by the sTHaar sTHatHus and khhharisma of Chiru, or what?
[Vikram]
Shut up, Kitty :)
Sorry sorry, I just couldn’t help myself with the Karamchand reference! Thank you and welcome aboard! Very happy to know that you would have voted for this madhouse and that it brings a smile :) Hope to see you around here more often, commenting and joining in on the fun!
[Zz] It does. It would have meant a lot more if you had bothered to translate the thought into a deluge of votes, but still, it does. Sniffle.
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 10:07 PM
Now that’s why we love (the politician in) you… you can find new reasons of not keeping your promises ;)
Thursday, March 1, 2007 @ 11:06 PM
You got so many votes , the counter overflowed and reset , and started again!
Friday, March 2, 2007 @ 2:19 AM
Hey Megha,
long time reader, first time commentator.. (or is it commenter, whatever..)
They say that a book should not be judged by it’s cover and a blog by it’s design.. (ok, I made that up…) But your blog first catches attention by it’s design and then your writing makes one come back again and again and again.. Your writing is like the opiate for the masses.. (masses like me and your regular readers and many more future readers..) Loved every post here.. So what if they didn’t give you an award.. We know you are the best! Keep inking and entertaining us..
And ya, resume regular programming soon.. We like debugging your posts a lot.. :D
Regards,
Gangadhar
Friday, March 2, 2007 @ 4:35 AM
Er um…here’s what happened. You see, heavies were hired, and mustachioed, lungi-clad, Mallu ones at that. However, the note we sent them the instructions on was typed out on an old, dusty typewriter that didn’t round out its P’s. As a result, while voting went on uninterrupted, there was some seemingly inexplicable roughing up of unsuspecting tourists at the Niagara Falls.
The embarrassment of this aluminum-foiled plot, not the fear of law mind you, prevents me from identifying myself.
Friday, March 2, 2007 @ 1:03 PM
As far as this reader is concerned, you will always be numero uno! Looking forward to you writing more frequently.
Friday, March 2, 2007 @ 1:06 PM
Prithee Kind Lady, I humbly begg forgiveness.
Thy blog, in all its glory, has captured mine guilty heart.
But I am promised to another. Tis the reason why Blogchaat held my vote.
Would thou see fit to pardon my trespasses, in the light that Blogchaat too was the result of thy exquisite craftwomanship?
Saturday, March 3, 2007 @ 1:57 AM
With my long and glorious record behind me, I had planned on getting together my band of heavies and capturing some poll booths. I knew that would do the trick. But when I got my goondas together, I found out there were no booths to capture. It was all done online. So I ended up with a lot of muscle power and nothing to do. AND I had to give them chai-paani.
BTW all that money I bet on your winning was a total loss. So next time, we will hijack a mail server instead. That should ensure your win!
Saturday, March 3, 2007 @ 9:53 AM
[Megha] I am not on the jury anymore. They threw me out because I was way too clever than the others.
Yes, yes, You did confer the title of Shilpa Shetty on me, but I thought I settled for Trisha, on the condition Kiruba doesn’t blog about me anymore. ;)
Monday, March 5, 2007 @ 10:50 AM
woof! Is grandma’s doggie a girl! can you hook me up with her! if it’s a boy my sista “dixie” might be interested. Her mail id is dixie_woof@yahoo.com and she is usually online on the messenger during afternoons! (and here’s a secret, she has a webcam too….) woooooof!
Monday, March 5, 2007 @ 12:38 PM
[fleiger] Heh heh. Warms the cockles of my conniving, scheming heart ;)
[serendipity] Aww. So sweet! Trust you to find a positive way to look at things. Thankoo :)
[Gangadhar] Aw, thank you! If my cribbing and lamenting about my loss of faith in my readers is what it takes to get readers like you out of the woodwork and comment, then I should do it more often :) Thank you muchly for your kind words. Very happy to have a long-time reader in you! I hope to continue the nonsense here for a while to come, and hope that you will, in turn, be a more regular commenter (or a commentator, if you prefer), now that you have broken the maun-vrat :)
[Anon] Ooh. Heh Heh. Very nice. I have this image of a pistachioed .. um, I mean mustachioed, lungi-clad, Mallu heavy, shimmering with gogonut oyl, doing kalaripayattu, mid-air over the Niagara, all very Crouching Mallu, Hidden Voter like. Oh by the way, you should try turning it into a hat. Will get you excellent reception for the TV inside your head. The aluminium foil, I mean.
[Andy E.] Aww, I feel very Amitabh Bachchan like right now. Sniffle. Thangoo.
[Princess Stefania] Sigh. Of course I forgive. And after all this, blogchaat couldn’t even come in first. Bah. But we is glad. At least, thanks to our whine, you decided to comment here :) Welcome aboard and all that. Now come back soon, will ya?
[Amol] Aha! There you go! That’s the spirit! Now we’re talking! (Well actually *you* are talking, but you get the drift.)
[Ravages] C’mon now. After the whole Big Brother hoopla, you still would rather be Trisha? Tsk tsk.
[Pixie] Have you considered introducing your sister to Snoop Dogg?
Monday, March 5, 2007 @ 11:45 PM
[Megha] ‘Have you considered introducing your sister to Snoop Dogg?’ - Howlarious, lady. :) Priceless!
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 11:20 AM
It didn’t work out! Dixie has never been a big fan of Hip Hop/Rap and the whole idea of humans impersonating canines is a turn off for her! The reverse evolution theory (humans referring each other as dogs) bothers her. She is more like a “the dog next door” kinds!
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 2:33 PM
[Vasu] Thankee :)
[Pixie] Oh right. She’s a chick named Dixie so she probably prefers a country bumpkin. Dog next door, hm? One just hopes, for her sake, that your neighbor is not a dhobi.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 3:05 PM
Aaah.. I thought i commented on Friday. Maybe i did not. Hmmm..
Anyways, why are you still even accepting these trophies? The only award you even need now would be a lifetime achievement for services rendered to the field of web design in the Indian blogosphere. And like I am fond of saying, you need to be OLD to get one of those. So are any of your numerous alter-egos (I am talking about you, you and you - you crazed bunnies running about here, as if you are high on speed or something) old enough? Tell me..hmmm hmmm?
I don’t think so. You are after all only three, even younger than me for that matter (I turned four a few weeks ago, btw). So after someone gives me a lifetime achievement award, I shall recommend you for the same the following year. And if you want to know what I have done to achieve the award, all I can say is that - sometimes the best design features are the features that are not there at all.
And if at all you get one before me, it means that the people who give it to you are actually trying to bump you off the picture like the crazed orchestra conductor at the Oscars (how impolite is that?)! So take my advice and refuse any more awards and nominations. When you refuse, you will automatically be elevated to super-diva status, from the chottu diva status that you already boast of!
And btw, your grandma is a dhobi? No no, don’t hit me. You mentioned “dhobi ka kutta” and people are talking about your grandma’s dog. Just wondered. Please excuse!
[Pixie]: Oh! Ailaa! I just reported “dixie_woof” as a spammer last weekend. What to do? I got a message inviting me to view her webcam and I thought Dixie was just like that “debbie_zxsfghert@yahoo.com” who demanded that I pay her using my Mastercard after I viewed just 2 minutes! The tease!
How was I to know that poor dixie was your sistah. Now I am starting to think all that poor Dixie wanted to show me was how she could touch her nose with her own tail!
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 3:23 PM
Brilliant suggestion! It worked out even better than expected. Turns out all the SRK movies one has watched have turned the TV into a Ham radio, and the foil put me on the same frequency as Johnny Sokko’s watch. So, come next election, we’ll be using one stylistically-challenged Giant Robot to do the crouching (well, to whatever extent he can crouch).
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 5:28 PM
[Megha]
I can’t stand this! Stop it, stop referring us to humans. Treat me as a dog , A DOG not humans I say!
[Anantha]
Here I am looking for serious relationship and you make fun of my tail and nose. Go to Brittany Spears or Paris Hilton blog for entertainment, not here. Now go back to spam folder and undo your “doings”, you bad boy!
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 6:26 PM
So, please to add fourth category to the list… the ones who voted and lost their bets placed on your win ;)
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 @ 10:36 PM
Oopsss!!
Moi didn’t vote for you this time. I thought the usual suspects will ensure your win :D
Anyways, Welcome Back and all that..
Hope to see more updates!
Cheers,
HP
Friday, March 9, 2007 @ 2:41 AM
you mean, irregular programming right?
I seem to lead the pack in your categories, although that part of the anatomy is more sore than lazy.
Friday, March 9, 2007 @ 2:56 PM
If this was my zimble Kerala, we couldve had a hartal to protest against the evil Capitalistic MNC s who were involved in the conspiracy to deny u the award. Dunno what we can do in the internet but mebbe shut down blogger, gmail, yahoo etc and all the other MNC sites from 12 am to 6pm. Wedding sites and Medicine sites can be excluded from the hartal but will be binding for all else.
Else we could question the accuracy of Electronic voting and get SUpreme court to overturn the verdict - can then ask all the voters to physicall record their votes at the indieblogger voting booths only.
Neway, tough luck this time. Better luck next time -Till then be regular at blogging plzzz..
Saturday, March 10, 2007 @ 12:25 PM
Hi!
I know u don’t remember me so I am not even going to attempt asking you that!
In fact even I had forgotten the way to your blog, the way I once walked upon almost regularly as a silent reader.
Today I was just reading blogs and found this place after following links.
Once I was here I felt I know this place, it seems familiar :)
Bookmarked u now!
GBU
Arti
Saturday, March 10, 2007 @ 4:05 PM
Can we please get back to regular programming?? wot crap are these awards; like Aamir Khar I don’t believe in any award shawards ;) :D
Monday, March 12, 2007 @ 12:14 AM
wanted to say Hi…
jam & toast with butter .
cheap noisy mutter.
thus spoke once the great Baba Sehgal…..
saunters away…….singing main bhi madonna aha aha…main madonnnaa
Monday, March 12, 2007 @ 11:34 PM
regular programming, please?
Wednesday, March 14, 2007 @ 2:17 AM
You ever met ‘nyone who don’ have ‘pinions? Me hasn’t. Gaga over writing style notwithstanding.
Thursday, March 15, 2007 @ 2:54 AM
*Looks guilty*
Thursday, March 15, 2007 @ 1:35 PM
Confucius say “Blog diva who does not blog is simply diva but blog diva who promise to blog and *then* does not blog is neither blog nor diva”
Let’s see that post on PF sex face. Plisssssss to write it.
Friday, March 16, 2007 @ 9:44 AM
Okie, delayed reply, but at least i’m writing one. And I posted. Hah!
[Anantha] My grandma’s dog, I said in post. In comment somewhere about dhobi ka kutta, in parentheses I even clarified that dhobi ka kutta is different from grandma’s kutta. So exactly how did grandma become dhobi? Mysterious ways your mind works. When it does, that is.
[Anon] Ooooh! Does your foil that play the ‘too too to too too too, too too to too, to to too to too too’ tune when you say ‘cmon Giant Robot’ to it? If so, SRK be damned, I want that hat. So so bad. Can I have?
[Dixie] Fine. Go find love in Lassie. Bah.
[fleiger] Oh they exist, eh? Gratifying, to say the least :)
[HP] *clasps hand to mouth in shock* How do you not vote for me and then come and rub it in with so much glee? No shame only. Bah!
[munimma] Um, I had nothing to do with that last part. Really. Honest.
[flaashgordon] Thankoo for being willing to try, that too in authentic Kerala style. It is the thought that counts 1-2-3, after all. Will try to write more often.
[Arti] Welcome back! Hope to see you around more often :)
[Moonie] Yesh. Will try to drown my woes in more writing :)
[sanky-isla bonita] Well well well, if it isn’t our favorite Tidda-ji! You still exist and all? Yay! And hello :)
[heh heh] Jo hukum, mere aaka!
[AmiLean Questions] Um? Yesh, I know some. But what exactly be asking?
[theDev] *sad dejected sigh*
[Revealed] Diva no makes promises anymore. Diva looks sheepish while people heckle. Diva hopes readers have short attention spans. And you want me to write a post about PF? Not about someone like .. say .. snide-remark-making, whistling-boys? Oh wait, he is probably around somewhere reading this. Might want to be careful.
Friday, March 16, 2007 @ 6:35 PM
i heard that
Monday, March 19, 2007 @ 1:43 PM
Oooooh. I’m all for the snide-remark-making, whistling-boys post. Let’s see it then! *taps foot impatiently*
Monday, March 19, 2007 @ 5:49 PM
[heh heh] What? Where? Who? *looks aroud innocently*
[Revealed] I suggest that we co-author a paper on this one. And shh. As you can see .. people are .. loitering. Let’s move this discussion to the new post, pliss?
Monday, March 19, 2007 @ 6:05 PM
Interesting, thought provoking, funny etc.. etc.. blog site. Today is my first day here. When I was first told about you, I categorised you as a gal with ADD but reading some of your material I am slowly getting convinced otherwise (might need some more convincing). I am surprised nobody titled you yet as “BLOGMATA” :-)
Have fun
AH
Saturday, July 28, 2007 @ 7:53 PM