Gaul stones

*tiptoes into room hoping nobody notices her return only to be greeted by a bunch of angry stares*

Um .. er .. hello. Didn’t see you there. *gulp* Well, we have been a little busy. Yes, fruitful paychecks and such. Sinful stomach asks questions, as you know. What’s that? The blog? No no, it didn’t die. We thought it wrote itself. Clearly we were mistaken. But that would be a pretty neat thing, no? A self-writing blog. No? You don’t find that clever? Fine. Poop on all our ideas.

So in exciting news from the countryside, we will be doing a bit of traveling at the end of August. Where to, you ask? Paris! Yes, Paris, France. La ville lumiére, city of lights and all that exciting hoo-haa. As you can imagine, we are fluttering around like an annoyingly chirpy ballerina whose tutu you want to set on fire. And of course, we are furiously practicing to say oui oui in a way that would make Rajendranath proud, telling everyone the PJ about the Pakistani hooker in Paris called Lahore, practicing to smile like the Mona Lisa and generally figuring out how to stuff an entire city into three days. It seems impossible, but if we manage to do it, we’ll be sure to come back and tell you how. With pictures to boot.

And if that were not enough we are also going to Belgium! Antwerp and Brussels. Hee haw. Yes yes, we will wait while you are done turning an appropriate shade of green. Finished? Good. Now, the only things we associated with Belgium until a month ago were 1) Tintin 2) Hercule Poirot 3) chocolates 4) waffles and 5) diamonds. And while the last few weeks have taught us that there’s more to the country than sharp men with a penchant for cracking mysteries, our desire for items four and more so five, remains. In fact, it seems our folks brought us up on a steady diet of kitschy Hindi movies for this day only. So we have decided to buy ourselves that ugly wide leather belt with a secret zippered pouch and by golly we are going to smuggle them diamonds back in it. So what if we have to wear a golden wig and red-tinted sunglasses and speak like Ajit? Of course, there is the minor detail of how we will come into possession of the said rocks, so if there’s a good heist movie you know, now would be a very good time to make recommendations.

Oh and we forgot to tell — we had a delightful little chat with an entertainingly rude Delta Air Lines customer service representative. After a frustrating half hour of explaining to her that it was the airline’s fault for screwing up the ticket and we shouldn’t be charged the penalty, she chimed back with a — Even if it is Delta’s fault, that is a mute point! We politely told her that if we muted the phone while she was trying to make a point, *that* would be a mute point. In fact, we’d be happy to demonstrate what we mean. Strangely, she didn’t seem to like that. Heh.

Be back with lots of pictures, stories and fun things to tell you. Keep the blog alive until then, will ya?

36 thoughts on “Gaul stones

  1. Sudo Nimus

    It’s wonderful to see a new post. One was all set to start a morcha demanding one (at the risk of seeming presumptuous (a word I always misspell so thanks for the spell-checker (isn’t it strange that a cashier takes cash, a creditor gives credit and a checker has nothing to do with checks whatsoever? (Parentheses-party about to end)))).

    I loved the Rajendranath reference and I do envy you for Paris, but more so for Belgium. It’s a country I’ve always wanted to visit. I rooted for the Red Devils (their soccer team) as a kid, and knew nothing else about the country before I found out about items 1 to 5, which are all extremely cool and sum up my current knowledge of Belgium. Looking forward to your future writing and photographs to learn more about the place.

    As for the heist movie, I would recommend Kaante, but the slow-motion strutting that seems an integral part of the planning stage would probably be too tiresome for you. Snatch perhaps (seeing as they steal diamonds from Antwerp to boot, or in the words of your airline rep, to bute)? As for the cache, the leather belt is an admirable choice. But may I suggest that you also carry a cane a la Amitabh in Shaan, as a backup concealment device?

    Not to break my streak of consecutive sentences that don’t make any sense, but have a wonderful trip and lots of fun!

    (PS: I’m extremely proud that I got through an entire comment without using any of the five French words I know)

  2. Raj

    Hmm, self-writing blogs sound good to me :)

    Good luck for your trip! Paris is amazing! I was able to tour the city in two days but couldn’t visit Versailles or La Défense. You have one more day so it should be easy. Btw, what’s that PJ about Lahore?

    Though I’ve seen almost all episodes of Poirot, I didn’t remember him being Belgian.

    Will wait for the pics!! :D

  3. Altoid

    Paris! Belgium! Bah, a likely story!

    You’re too lazy to write, and you come up with such insipid excuses!

    Did I say Bah yet?

    ;)

  4. Lalita Mukherjea

    You stole my idea, I wanted an invention that wrote as I thought before you did. I will go read Asterix again to console myself now, so there. But have a nice holiday, you.

  5. gvenum

    I suggest showing the rock owners the concept of the now famous “mute point”, like how they should be muted while you make it a point of robbing the rocks. That way you would have the pleasure of “demo”ing the mute point concept that you are so rudely devoided by that pointy Delta PR person and at the same time avoid watching the painful slow motion strutting as suggested by S.Nimus. Oh yeah, you get the rocks too.

    Have a nice trip. So I see you have quite bit of shopping to do to keep up the ” kitschy” part of the trip. ( fundoo description of what makes it kitschy btw..loved it)

  6. witnwisdumb

    It lives! It lives! *mad cackling laughter*

    Well well well! Heading off to France, eh? There’s this line from the animated series of The Mask, that comes to mind…

    I see Paris, I see France
    I see stinky underpants

    I can just picture it, you trying to smuggle diamonds out of Belgium…

    Airline Clerk: Bon soir, mademoiselle. Parlez-vous francais?
    You (wide grin): Oui, oui!
    AC (thinking your face is familiar): Er… Tenez! Tu! La police, ne t’a pas encore trouve?
    You: Oui, oui!
    AC: Est-ce que vous etes ivre?
    You: Oui, oui!

    Heh heh. Expecting much fun from your posts after you return, so make sure you don’t get caught.

  7. witnwisdumb

    PS1: Have a great, fun-filled, fantastic and safe trip!

    PS2: The comments preview feature isn’t working right. It shows line and paragraph breaks incorrectly.

  8. Bhanu

    Hey Megha,

    Happy travelling. I have recently moved to Eindhoven from Nashua. So, if you want to come visit NL and say hello to my 2 year old daughter….please to drop by (Seriously!). The weather here has been unusually rainy/cold but I am sure all the clouds here will give way to the cloud from Amerika.

  9. V

    Lahore, mute… LOL.. as we all know, in yoo-yes-yaa, tutor is tootor, duke is dook, and dude is dood, but i didnt know they also have it the other way round as well .. so some say mute for ‘moot’ – good to know, i’ll watch out for that, esp wiith delta.. wonder what the operator said in response though?

  10. Pavan Ki sore

    Sawan ka mahina, you are all set to soar, eh?
    Megha aise ghoome to hum sab honge bore :(

    Not to worry, you have fun, ma cherie – oui will manez …

    ((Kushal mangal chithi patri likhte rehna))

    (Hope the gal has the gall (not to forget other such bawdy parts) to roll a few non-gaul stones in Gujarock) ;)

    Finishhhing the parent-theses

  11. rads

    Brussels?!
    DON’T miss the Grand place and the sound and light [sonne et lumiere] show in the evenings.. Pick an alley off it and you can either wander into clams, godiva chocolates, moroccan food or cafes. The place just rocks with music, people and all the sights and sounds…. Of course beer is huge.

    Antwerp’s alright – if you are looking for diamonds, can’t beat window shopping on Avenue Louise in Brussels. If you were buying, then that’s a whole new story :) Gaufres/waffles are everywhere!

    Oh i love that place *nostalgic sigh.

    Enjoy!

  12. Anurag

    Hey, Belgium is quite a beautiful place. My client company is in Brussels and I go there often. Do remember to check out the Marcolini chocolates store in Sablon, as well as to have Chimay beer.

    If you can include Brugge in your travel plans, that would be awesome. It’s a lovely place, is Brugge. Also Gent.

    Sigh…

  13. Anonymous

    Your blog is growing on me ..like ( thinkinghard for analogy: a colony of bacteria)

    I have always said to my mom, however hideous a ‘Kaddu ” looks its the presentation and preparation that makes the difference..

    You sure are living example to my philosophy…

    carry on missie..

  14. But still

    Jao tum chaaho jahaan, yaad karoge wahaan …

    : )

    (Was searching for the exact cheapo song, but this will have to do)…

    Take care, have tonsa fun.

  15. Spunky Monkey

    Oh Paris! Let’s see what your take on the Mona Lisa is, as also the Eiffel Tower. Apparently, it is much ado about crap. No, not a case of sour grapes as you might be assuming, but just being khabri. The richer cousins that have traveled the globe told me as much.
    Also, needless to say, you have a really fun blog here. Came here with much too much recommendations. Certainly not disappointed.

  16. Phaedrus

    *I love that ‘Gujarock’ term.
    Anyway, have a nice time there. Check out the Louvre and see if it actually is an ‘inverted pyramid’ hanging inside a pyramid. Miteerand bhai paid a whole lot of money to an amerikan designer to come up with that ..or such.
    Pothe, aa ‘manam’ ani sambhashincheru, adi gourava poorvakam gaana, leka meeru iruvurini sambodhisthoona. Konchem selava ivvandi!!!

    Njoiiii ..

  17. Sudha

    hey! how the hell did I miss this post for so long, really? because i check quite often. and there are always so few new posts anyways. oops! did i just say that? I was only thinking it in my head :P

    bon voyage!

  18. Petite Queen

    > so if there’s a good heist movie you know

    surely, someone as well-seen as you has seen “Snatch”? a generic algorithm for the raiding of diamond cutter establishments in the Low Countries is proposed. said algorithm is implemented in its Hasidic (or is it Sephardic) form, and a diamond the size of a goitre is extracted to England.

    do peruse.

  19. munimma

    Watch out for the dog poo, apparently abundant in la ville lumiere. And that is not envy speak.

    Are there going to be pics a la shammi/sharmi in evening in paris?

    mute is moot?

    So are you going to be eating a lot of sprouts, seeing that you will be visiting Brussels?

  20. Sreelu

    Megha,
    First time at your blog, reading your blog makes me feel like “annapoorna” in telugu movies, with heavy voice I say nuvvu challa ga veyya yellu bratakali :)
    In between amazing truly amazing blog !!!!

  21. IdeaSmith

    Running in here from Kaushik’s place to ask (on his direction) the meaning of ‘FMA’…since our close friend has been described as having one(?) rivalled by none. Pray tell plizzzz…we’s dying of curiosity.

  22. Rohit Tripathi

    I have been going through your blog and find your ideas very interesting and informative.I must say you have a good flair to write and your ideas seem to match my views – at least most of them! Keep writing and I will keep reading. Good Luck!

  23. Bhanu

    Waiting for the pictures and the stories from your trip. Meanwhile, I have been doing some sightseeing myself during the weekend and posted some pictures. You must have been to some of these places during this trip.

  24. Anurag

    Are you back yet? I went to Brussels and came back without anyone noticing. And here you are, with half the world waiting for your return, and you have nothing to say or show for your trip!

  25. Indraneel

    Hi..the heart aches for you..Belgium..Poirots..Godivas..Baubles shalt not know your true worth..we do..come back..do that promised thesis on Bappida..please!!..am already on my knees with folded laptop..nothing to read in the blogosphere..Paris has one quaint lil coffee shop called L’passe or something outside which my dear Daddu used to sit and do portraits for a living..if you are going to stay there for a while..please take up that profession..I am given to understand by my long gone Daddu that it pays!!!!!…or just come back n resume Bappida…??!!!!!

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