Friday, October 19, 2007
Gone baby gone
· 
Every once in a while I like to remind my readers about my Gult conscience. First there was the childhood memory of Sobhan Babu. Then it was my conjecturing about why Gult porn doesn’t exist. But today, we come back to my first love — Chiru.
So the news around town, in an ironic instance of life imitating art, is that Chiru’s nineteen-year old daughter eloped and got married to her boyfriend of four years. Now, please note. Nineteen. Four years. Sigh. I feel like a grandmother. So anyhoo, this news should be of no consequence to anyone except the elopees and their distraught maa-baaps. But this is Chiru. In Andhra. So let us take a deep breath, let out an even deeper sigh, stick on a big honking red nose and jump right into the media circus that has ensued.
So the plan, apparently, went something like this (Do not try this at home without parental supervision) —
- Tell folks at home that one is visiting some aunt/grandma types.
- Meet up boyfriend at friendly neighborhood Arya Samaj mandir.
- Marry. Take pheraas at breakneck speed like tail was on fire.
- Take stock photos and videos with standard-issue pimply engineering college buddies in background.
- Give TV interview telling the parents to shove it.
Simple really. And now Chiru fans around the world are irate at the girl and her naya-navela dulha for besmirching (I love that word) the fair name of their beloved star. Never mind that this is a family matter. The whole world and their neighbor has jumped in anyway and chosen to be angry about it. The boy’s Orkut profile has scraps threatening him and his friends (in exhaustingly bad language), his parents have gone into hiding and the girl has requested police protection for her hubby. Exciting stuff indeed.
Now, admittedly Chiru is a bit of a God for his fans. But the whole ‘how can you do this to your own parents?’ seems rich, no? It could just as easily apply the other way around. Is it really that ridiculous for a kid to revolt against her dad, especially if he had her pulled out of college and placed under house arrest? All this cos the guy was of a different caste? The only part of this whole thing that bothers me is her age. Nineteen (while legal) is admittedly a bit wet behind the ears. But that one issue apart, I don’t get what the big hoo-haa is.
The official comment from the family is that the Megastar is too distraught to comment. But they add that he has brought his dotty up with utmost freedom (must have been before the house arrest?) and some bad boy has led her astray. Total WTF stuff wonly.
Of course, what is truly ridiculous, is the haircut she’s sporting at her own wedding. But nobody wants to talk about that. Tsk.
ps .. Happy Durgashtami to all! (Happy Megha’s tummy to all too. But you don’t really care, do you now?)
Long live Mandira Bedi.
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 11:18 AM
oooh.. you forgot one point. The groom is a history sheeter apparently. 5 years ago, when he was 17 he was charged with kidnapping and let off because he was underage.
Like I told you earlier, this could be the funniest thing I have heard, if not for the fact that it is so sad.
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 11:45 AM
I am guessing that the newly-weds have taken off to a place as far away from South India as possible.
But can’t they just tell people they got her father’s blessings? From what I heard, there are a lot of Chiranjeevi temples in Andhra ;)
[KG]: I maybe missing something here, but err… Mandira Bedi?
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 11:53 AM
I have a Gult conscience too! Which works well, because I don’t understand much of what it says.
As for the matter itself, one would think we have better things to worry about.
PS: Happy Durgashtami and Megha’s tummy to you too!
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 12:43 PM
Jeez - what is with peple idolizing actors? Chiru on screen great. Chiru elsewhere - why would I care?
@Lou Boy - It is not sad. It is pathetic. On part of both the girl and parents. And more so on the idolizing public.
@JB- I would have postponed marrying if I sported such a hairdo (and was quickly told that explains why I am still single.. friends I tell ya).
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 12:50 PM
Why is it sad?
Boy runs away girl. Happens all the time. If it works out well, so good. If it doesn’t she will suffer. WTF should we care?
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 12:51 PM
KG : Brill, if it is what I think it is @ Mandir-a
But I agree, hideous is a kind word for that haircut.
Durgas to me, meghas to me : total harem wonly, looking forward to.
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 12:56 PM
Megha, you should put in bold Chiru is god to everyone in AP, now there is another twist that you missed,apparently the dulha raja has a criminal past of kidnap, imagine now he puts on his black glasses and the circles flash and tadah !! he is the bad guy from 5 years old flashback , man this looks like straight of some weird gult movie :)
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 1:17 PM
Confused: No, what is sad is the trouble people have to go through when they accept “make fraandship” requests on Orkut. Reading the scraps that people have left to these “fraands” of the abbaay, the half telugu that I know is enough to make me cringe.
JB sahiba: Aap jo kahenge wohi sahi hoga. Pathetic only. Aap kaise ho?
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 1:45 PM
oh boy, this post is so much more
betterfun than the one I drafted!neways, thank you so much for talking about her haircut. I was wondering why it hasnt beeen raised yet…
Poor Chiru, I mean, what a spiteful lil princess she turned out to be.
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 2:18 PM
Sigh. I feel like a grandmother.
I have the perfect antidote to your depression. Why don’t you get married too? I think it’s high time actually. Mebbe that will stop you from holding fort with such PJ’s that you force us to read! :P
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 2:23 PM
Three posts in fifteen days? Yay. She is back. Touchwood…
Hey whats all this complains about. We are Indians. We love and care (read poke our noses) about our neighbours, our friends, neighbour’s friends and friend’s neighbours. You need to be re-trained in Indian values. Sing with me:
Saturday, October 20, 2007 @ 3:57 PM
good observation on the haircut….I knew there was something wrong in the video….
Sunday, October 21, 2007 @ 12:21 PM
Seriously..What yamazing news this is..I am happy..you know why? I was cussing out the entire family after being “ripped off” for his sons’ movie “Chirutha” and was wondering what kind of idiots’ are these fellas and swoop! this news…Sometimes life can be gratifying than movies.
Sunday, October 21, 2007 @ 5:06 PM
Kudos on the “refreshing” taglines :)
Sunday, October 21, 2007 @ 5:08 PM
This news is definitely much better than some stupid “Rani had fish on the sets of LCMD!” “Amitabh sneezed twice during a function” “Akshay stayed in a hotel for 3 days”!!! and the likes!!!
This is atleast something spicy ;-) eloping and all… major drama and time pass for us!
but seriously pity these super stars. They simply cannot do anything just on their own.. everything is governed by their screen image!
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 2:28 AM
Nice to have you writing frequently again. Dunno if you follow Passion for Cinema, but someone recently posted quite well about the music of Aandhi and Mausam - thought you would enjoy it…..
Oh, and c’mon - you can’t hold the hairstyle against the child….. she grew up in a household with a South Indian male movie star… ridiculous hairstyles even on the MEN is her heritage. Surely a weird fringe or whatchamacallit is not the end of the world. What she should’ve done is give the same interviews to the press, claiming that she was waiting for her hair to grow into something more salvageable, before she ran away from her house-arresting father to marry the acne-scarred scrawny engineer of her choice….now THAT would’ve made for more hysterical viewing…..:)
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 9:08 AM
[KG] Yay Parmeet Sethi!
[anantha] Yes, colorful character only. Of course, if Chiranjeevi was playing his son-in-law in a movie, he would have had a noble reason for kidnapping the girl five years ago. Probably to save her from an oppressive father or something. Whatever it is, the plot surely chickens.
[Fleiger] Ah, good plan that. But there is a fundamental loophole in it. Given that Chiranjeevi temples (I don’t know if there are actually any) are where the staunchest of devotees congregate, that would probably the one place that these kids are most likely to get slaughtered, no?
[Sudo Nimus] Thankoo. And a happy Dusshera to you! :)
[Sakshi] Hmm. Maybe I read this whole thing completely wrong. Maybe the haircut is precisely why they had her under house-arrest in the first place. Maybe the groom-objection was just daddy pretending, so he could spare the dotty’s feelings.
[confused] Indeed.
[Chiru Navvu] Thankoo. Nobody noticed it only. Serves me right for putting PJs in PSs.
[sreelu] I agree! This could have been a plot of a Chiru movie itself, with some oil-drenched-twisted-moocha thick-accented dude playing the heroine’s father-u. (Satyanarayana, anyone?) Oh and thank you for your annapoorna comment on one of my previous posts. I never had a chance to respond to you on that one, but that comment brought the biggest smile to my face :) Very happy to have a reader in you! Welcome to the blog :)
[rads] Thankoo :) And yes yes, we here on this blog, are all about shining light on matters of national importance. Glad you appreciate :)
[anantha]
First of all, Red or Jaisalmer? Second of all, a black magic experiment must have gone terribly wrong somewhere cos my mom seems to have cloned herself and entered your body. I must investigate. Thirdly, the only person who used phrases like ‘holding forth’ was my grandfather (may his soul rest in peace), so now you are two members of my family, not just one. And lastly and most importantly, dear naive bhola-bhala Anantha, you really really didn’t think that marriage will take the PJs out of me, did you now? :)
[Richa] Yesh yesh. You didn’t believe me when I said I was back, so I decided to prove it :) And now, the image of Manoj Kumar, pouting as he sings, with a golden-haired Saira Banu looking on, is firmly imprinted on my mind, thanks to you. Bah.
[Vinay] The haircut and the speed of the pheras. Both of those are most disturbing.
[Paddy] Tsk tsk. Who asked you to watch movies like that? But sure, whatever makes you happy. And thank you and welcome to the blog! Thought that was in order since those taglines have been ‘refreshing’ for more than a year now :)
[shark] True :) I just would have preferred that the headline said - ‘Chiru’s daughter elopes and gets married and doesn’t even find time for a haircut!’. I don’t mind that this pointless news is making headlines. I just think it should make the headlines for the right reasons :)
[Nandu] Thank you. I am intending to keep up the frequency this time around :) And ayyo no. I haven’t caught up on PFC in a long time. I shall head over and read soon. Thank you for telling me!
And heh, yes. You make an excellent point. With a role model like that at home, one can hardly blame the kid. (My mind is swimming with the possibilities of some ‘heir apparent’ and ‘hair apparent’ puns, but I am trying to behave.) As I said earlier too, I am starting to wonder if maybe her hair was the reason she was placed under house arrest. Her going out looking that *that* cannot be good for daddy’s image no? Maybe he pretended to have issues with her boyfriend just to spare her feelings. Nice daddy.
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 3:45 PM
And lastly, dear naive bhola-bhala Anantha, you really really didn’t think that marriage will take the PJs out of me, did you now? :)
What to do? My Sherlock-ian instincts told me that the process of finding a cure for your affliction starts upon the supposition that when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. And that is how I determined that marriage could just be what could cure you.
It may well be that several explanations remain, in which case one tries test after test (e.g. tasering you, doing my best Kumar Sanu impression on every Hindi and Tam song I know, pay Himesh to take of his hat, greet you with only the words that could irritate you, which you most unfortunately divulged to me earlier, increasing salt content in your food till you puke etc.) until one or other of them has a convincing amount of support.
I just applied that principle to the case in point and realized that with the relative lack of proximity, I can’t subject you to the aforementioned shock and awe methods to cure you. Hence the need to get you married off to a chappie who has infinite capacity to withstand your taarture. That will be the supreme sacrifice he makes for the brotherhood/ sisterhood/ unclehood/ auntyhood etc. And then the world will hope that you get bored of yourself.
And just because you asked, Red, since I can’t associate myself with anything even remotely related to Bobby Deol. dhankyouberrymujh!
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 5:22 PM
Aah, I was going by the standard of the normal temples which are only crowded on special occasions and in movie songs ;)
But now that he has forgiven the “kids”, the whole thing is just theoretical ;)
BTW, I agree with whoever said that give the kid a break. She has been in house arrest since her b’day. The fringe which once was a fashion statement is now… How and where can she get a haircut?
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 7:54 PM
You are welcome! BTW, I like the photo of the day. Nice touch of Sepia, pretty unusual though. People usually like colors for the picture of flower. Is this why that bee so unhappy? It does bring out the dew on the flower though.
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 8:34 PM
But but.. he forgave her and now theyr back as one happy family, no? Just like one of those happy movie endings.Heroine runs off with hero of lower cast fighting against powerfull dad blah blha blah de blah. Boy was gossiping ever so much fun!!! btw, im new to ur blog here and boyoboy have u got a sense of humour!!!!
Cheers!!
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 11:01 PM
Dotty ran away and
Father popped a vein
People thought this all to be a pain,
but not to let anTi’s question go in vain -
pliss to tell you are going to
be which lucky princes’ dame?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007 @ 1:40 AM
Oh! But you didn’t see the follow up, Pavan Kalyan going and surrendering his revolver in some police station…and making speeches that they weren’t goondas…snigger yeah right. That one line kept all the 15353252354235 Telugu news channels occupied for 3 days.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 @ 9:10 AM
LOL…That list was too funny, but I always found Rajni >>> Chiru (and I am supposedly neutral here - neither Gult nor Tambi). So, I am glad. I am sure Rajni’s kid would never do that to him!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 @ 7:03 PM
Wish Abhishek had run away too and married someone else..poor guy..he now stuck with Doting, plasticined, chloroform or bhang giggly, ironed hair irony called Aishwarya…also he stuck with 6′4″ towering papa…who chooses to paw nubile young things from the 70s till today..yucks..imagine pawing lacquer coated Urmila in RGVKA!!!!…But who would Abhishek marry…Lol..Lol…mEGHA..WHY AM i THINKING ABOUT U…???
Thursday, October 25, 2007 @ 5:32 AM
LOL, yes! So much fuss about “ingrate daughter” blah blah blah, and not one person to so much as click their tongues disapprovingly at the bride’s rogue bangs. Ah but people are notorious for having fucked up priorities.
On an aside, I LOU your blog to like the deepest depths of my being and all that. Only I’ve been too shy to speak up here. Also I think I might have breached blogger etiquette when I simply linked you on my blog without even asking you. So I ask now. Can I? Pleeease :) !
Saturday, October 27, 2007 @ 4:57 AM
Gah! Those bangs, yukkk..
Thursday, November 1, 2007 @ 2:04 PM
well, one thing’s for sure… chiru is royally screwed :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 @ 7:18 PM