Friday, February 15, 2008
Whine, Valentine and poetry
Three cups of coffee and almost no sleep. We are not responsible for anything that follows.
So the Lou-puddle has tagged us. It seems we have to go through our archives, find five recycle-worthy posts, and link to them. Yesh. You can barely contain your excitement, we can tell. As though once is not enough, we now have to pull wool over your eyes twice. Not that we mind fooling our readers again and again. All these past promises of posting regularly and then disappearing promptly should assure you that our intentions are always strictly dishonorable. But Puddle has declared my anniversary post a cop out! Sacré bleu! * The nerve! The cheek! The rest-of-human-body! His lame-ass recycling-old-posts idea is not a cop out. Naah. But my bootiful, 100% original, no-additives-added anniversary post, with a four-candle cake even. THAT is a cop out. Hah!
* Notice how we have taken to nonchalantly throwing in French phrases to show off our Paris-returned-ness? Very blasé and subtil subtil we are. Oui oui.
Anyway, Puddle’s hypocrisy reminded us of this famous speech —
Yes, like that only.
By the way, did we ever mention on this blog that we have a niece? Anyway, we do. She’s all of eight and a riot, a party and a hurricane all rolled into one. And naturally, she is the apple of our eye and the mango of our heart and what not. (I’ll pick whatever fruit and bodypart I want. My niece, my wish.) And she talks at the speed of two-hundred-thirty-four words a minute, give or take fifty. So yesterday, she calls. (Note: pinni is Telugu for mom’s younger sister.)
She: Happy Valentine’s Day, pinni!
Me: Thankoo, chutku!
She: Has anyone given you flowers yet?
Me: No, not yet.
She: Pah! All the boys you know are completely useless!
Yay. One more member of my family who passes mocking judgement on the men I know. Awesomeness only. Oh and apparently, they were selling flowers at her school, so she bought a rose for her mom and dad. Gave it to them after coming home with the declaration — I only will have to buy you flowers. You anyway don’t buy for each other. Pah. Happy Valentine’s day! Sigh. What a brat. And the family claims that she takes after me in personality. Which is suchhh an unfair thing to say. Nobody seems to value my wholesome tutti-fruiti goodness, these days. Something needs to be done about that.
And oh. We’re not doing the Puddle tag now. This was just a whine. Next post we do tag. Pakka. As some famous person once said —
Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practice to deceive.
But my how we improve the score,
as we practice more and more.
Hee hee. Promises. Hee hee hee!
And the point is … ?
Stop faffing and post. If you still can.
J.A.P.
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 2:38 PM
Oh. Oh. Look she has posted. I swooned. I fell of my chair. Much to the joy of the resident bad breath - who was all eager to kiss me awake!
Sigh. You should really not post that infrequently. The things I get into..tee hee.
And what is this I hear about you knowing useless men?? What?? You know plural? Then why , oh why, my JB am I singel steeel?
No - not the burtan wala. We are all empty and all that. But we no noise make, no?
And thees is what happens to us when we drink coffeee… wheeeeeee.
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 2:40 PM
My post? Lame ass? Pfft! You know I don’t do tags normally. You know by now that I am too lazy for those.
One has to resort to such things to get traffic, not that it puts money in the bank, but to boost one’s own ego. So I killed two birds in one stone - told people I am an old man as far as blogs are concerned and also gained a few new hits (hopefully).
Also notice that i cheated. Not only did I quadruple the no. of re-cycled links (as a dutiful reader informed me), but I made sure that category fit was rather vague.
So lameass? Pfft again! My post was there for some clever purposes (now I am not going to tell you that here!) and some more. Can the same be said of yours? Hmmpf!
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 2:52 PM
And what is this I hear about you knowing useless men?? What?? You know plural? Then why , oh why, my JB am I singel steeel?
[JB-II] Darling, how is a gal as cute as thou, single? Pray tell, only!
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 3:49 PM
[Lou Boy] As even a 8 year old girl knows, all men are essentially useless. May be you want to try and be the exception? ;)
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 3:59 PM
Good. You are back to your PJ ways, albeit parceled with some apparently intellectual poetry, but still good.
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 6:41 PM
Thats what a dictionary and a bottle of shiraz do to you after reading such a post.
Have a lovely long weekend,
-Paddy
Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 8:56 PM
phunny phunny post. As India needs Bangladesh to bring out their best in cricket, we need the puddle (devoid of any lou these days) from time to time to get these gems out of you.
Really? its not ? and he calls this killing 2 birds with one stone. Dude, you don’t need a stone. Did you really check, may be the birds might have killed them selves from boredom on reading your recycle bin post.
The only difference between your pakka and a blatant lie is the italicization.
Saturday, February 16, 2008 @ 1:43 AM
baalavaakku brahmavaakku. Your niece got it right, bangaaram; men these days are useless, and clueless. I wish I could share the laurels, roses, compliments and Valentines that came one’s way. Once one is safely in the ‘elderly’ category, one gets quite a few valentines. Brilliant ones, poignant ones, ah okay, irritatingly snarky ones, but one gets valentines, tee hee.
Saturday, February 16, 2008 @ 12:36 PM
We did notice that the answer to the relevant question was “No, not yet”. So are we to assume that since the question was posed and now there has been a status change. And if so does it absolve members of my sex from belonging to the “completely useless” tag.
And in all the excitement of reading a new post we missed the first h in the title of your post and were expecting poetry that would have been much more shall we say c(g)lassy. (Written by a Paris returned lass. I think we should stop now before our incipient poetry starts to take over.)
To top it all we were in the promised land during Valentines day all alone eating Greek Salad since the waitress got tired of me eating sandwiches and sipping iced teas. (And before you wonder not the ones that share their name with a region of south eastern New York.)
P.S : On the other hand I am wondering what one of my great ex-wing mates would have called the title of this post : “Bhine Bhalentine and Poetry”. (In which case our missing the h would not have made any difference)
Saturday, February 16, 2008 @ 1:59 PM
Two posts in so short a time? Maybe one of you has really become responsible adult after all ;)
I have a theory that (especially) nieces imprint on their uncles/aunts. Your niece also confirms the theory ;)
Saturday, February 16, 2008 @ 5:24 PM
[JB] Even I am exception and expectation and exasperation. Not only the Anantha baai.
Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 12:39 AM
Wooot! Welcome back. And thank you muchly for the heads-up on the posts. And you really got no flowers on Valentine’s Day?! Hard to believe, but here’s a belated one, then: @}-,-`-
PS: I can’t believe I actually used one of those ASCII things, finally!
Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 4:53 AM
Beware of black crow.
Fake whines. @no flarz.
Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 9:43 AM
[JB] I came. I saw. And I almost went - Ugh! Woman, post already!!! [1] And then, I realized that if I am expecting you to sit over a long weekend writing post(s), then we be JBs no more!! Weekends should see asses plunked elsewhere. So this time wonly, we don’t leave taana.
[1] Inspired by your Caesar quote, of course!
[Lou Boy] You no want to be the exception?? Waah.. Tuute hue dil ne..
[Ravages] *Perks up* All that and even called Lou boy - baai.. hehehhee.
baai in Marathi means woman. Tee hee. Now I have visions of Lou boy in drag.
Oh! Honey, you made my day. Here’s to you being the exceptional man and matching one’s expectation while rest watch in exasperation..
Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 2:06 PM
[JB] Who said I no want to be expectation?
[CC] Machi, kuzhiya thondi enna thallitiye adhula! It is “baaiy” and “baai” :P
Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 4:57 PM
[JB] Unintentional typo-led humour only. But Anantha in drag, would he be Ananthi?
[Anantha] Errr…sorry. My bad, or should I say, my baay?
Monday, February 18, 2008 @ 1:23 AM
Well, here’s to your wholesome tutti-fruity goodness…
Sacre bleu indeed.
:)
Monday, February 18, 2008 @ 6:57 AM
[Lou Boy] You just vanished!!! I thought you would be here, dripping and puddle forming. But naah! You just went and sulked coz she whined about your tag. Pah! Men I say..
[Ravages] Hehehhehee. Yes, Ananthi baai only :)
Monday, February 18, 2008 @ 11:31 AM
[JB-II] True to my name, I am omnipresent. I am not sulking. But I don’t form puddles in public either.
Monday, February 18, 2008 @ 3:22 PM
[JB]
Lou-Puddle has become “bit her”-Puddle these days incapable of any lou, filled with J (rather than JB) and display his ever fragile ego, just like Rajni was in his earlier roles as a villain.
I guess he is doing the same at his blog, hopefully reflecting on what he writes/posts these days and the monster he has become.
Monday, February 18, 2008 @ 6:02 PM
[JAP uncle] Pfft. I can expect such puerile behavior from a newbie. But you? If-I-had-any-hair-on-my-head-it-would’ve-been-white JAP uncle, you? You are a long-time reader of this blog. And YOU are looking for a point to my posts? This is depressing. Pathetique, I say.
[JB] C’mon. If you know men (plural) then you will obviously know useless men. (plural again) It is the first law of probability, they say. Well, I say. As for why you are Salem steel, that is a very good question. While I have some theories about that (most of which revolve around men who cannot understand your true worth and other such depressing lines of thought) I think the likes of Lou Boy and Ravages Boy are better equipped to tell you why you shouldn’t be single, and THAT is a much better thing to focus on. What say?
And yes, gorgeous long weekends with 60F temperatures aren’t meant to be spent planning new blog posts or writing comments on old ones. For that we have the entire work week anyway, na? Thus, first thing Tuesday morning, we write replies :)
[anantha] Precisely my point. You do lame-ass tags that involve making people re-read your posts. (A tag that I will still do, no matter how many times I diss it.) I on the other hand, put my blog in hibernation, forget all about traffic and then come back with an original post. I am true to my art and not selling my soul or conscience. Hah. Now who’s the cop out? Huh huh? Total ‘Hello kettle, you are black’ moment, this is. And you had a clever purpose for doing the tag aa? Knowing you, that has to be about one of three things only - a) Thalaivaar b) a chance to become a guest writer at some fancypants blog c) a chance to impress some girl. Since a paploo recycle post isn’t gonna get you a) or b), I’m assuming this has to be c). Now why would any girl be impressed by your recycled posts tag, you ask? She won’t. But that doesn’t stop you from trying. So there.
[ArSENik] Objection milord. I am only responsible for the PJ part. The intellectual poetry is not my own. Please to not credit us with things we are incapable of doing. Our feelings will be hurt. Sniff.
[Paddy] Ammo. Waito waito. Are you complimenting me or giving gaalis? With you, one needs a dictionary for both, so it is best to ask. We thoroughly approve of the shiraz though. Long weekend was most awesome! Hope yours was good too?
[gvenum]
You see, it is very simple. One just needs a punching bag. Sometimes it is Cushion Kumar. Sometimes it is Altaf Raja. And yet sometimes it is Lou Puddle. We are not picky. We work with whatever we get. Adjusting, we are.
Hmpfh. You just wait and see. I’ll do that tag next and prove all my detractors wrong. Mwahahaha!
[Lalita] Sigh. You, milady, come in that special category of women who shall be romanced and serenaded to, even when they are getting their dentures made. You cannot assume that the rest of the world works in the same glorious way. But tell us? Why don’t we get to see any of these brilliant, poignant and snarky valentines on your blog? Isn’t that the first rule of interesting valentines? That you share them with the world?
[Nightwatchmen] Ahoy! Long time, no ocean! To answer your question - pliss to notice that, according to Chutku, only the men *I* know are completely useless, not men in general. So as long as you don’t know me, you (and the other members of your sex) have some usefulness left in you. Such a gladdening thought that is, innit?
And nah, writing a classy, wine + flowers + poetry post on Valentine’s day would have been a bit much, even for the Paris-returned, fancypants us. You were there recently, you say? Yay for being there, with or without company. But eating sandwiches and drinking iced teas you say? Whyever so? Why not eclairs and croissants? Why not crepes in a rum sauce? You need a good talking to, methinks. (We are not big on LI-iced teas though, so we won’t hold that one against you.)
ps .. If your wingmate is anything like some of the folks I know, the title should have been Bhine, Bhalentine and Pho-tree, no? Oh and since you mention wingmates - would this be a certain well-known institute of technology in Forgotten Land, Eastern India, by any chance? Just curiously wondering.
[Fleiger] Yes yes. One of us became a responsible adult and the other sixteen have punched her senseless, so all is good in our world once again. Pliss to share this theory now?
[witnwisdumb] Paah. When did I say I no get flowers at all? Even with an eight-year-old, I chose my words carefully. But thankoo! ASCII roses warm the cockles of my geek heart. Now I can say I have seen everything :)
[Aghast in Anakapalle] Oye, lie-speak-crow-bite ki aulaad. I said not yet. At this rate I will go to my python (my-kaa, that is) and you will be left watching. Hee haw!
[Hammy] Thankoo :) At least someone has acknowledged that it exists. My WTF-goodness, that is. Wholesome Tutti-Fruity goodness, I mean, of course.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 @ 9:59 AM
I am true to my art and not selling my soul or conscience.
Pfft! You are not the wonly one, btw. Who said doing that tag was against my conscience? It’s perfect for my ego and my ego is the purpose of my blog. As for your assumptions, I get invited to write for fancy type blogs practically everyday. And impressing girls? Frankly, I don’t even have to try these days. My inherent grace, charm and style are enough.
As the saying goes, when you assume, you only make an ASS out of U & Me. Now I am already an ass. But are you one? More than that, are you comfortable being one? That’s the pertinent question.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 @ 11:15 AM
Arrey! Good to know. I was vowing not to visit again, not being able to handle the poetry and all.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 @ 7:28 PM
Dear Lady,
I am loth to disturb thee, but I find mineself in great need of thy skill and talent. I place myself before thee and beseech thee to pass over blogchaat’s sores thy gifted hands. Kindle the flame of life that yet flickers deep within her, restore her to her rightful place in the blogdom. Prithee Great Lady, doth it not pain you to behold thine creation in so grievous a state? Lo, can you not hear the keening of the masses? Doth not our lamenting move thy heart? The Queen B. was well beloved by all her humble subjects, take pity on us. I implore thee Great Lady, for tis you and you alone who can resurrect her to the glorious and resplendent site she was in the days of yore.
Thine eternally,
Princess Stefania
Wednesday, February 20, 2008 @ 6:20 AM
Told you the theory: nieces often follow their aunts/uncles, in mannerisms and hobbies. Dunno why, but this is at least third time I read about it this month.
As for the mature “you”, so sorry to hear that. Though it’s good to hear all is well in Meghaland ;)
BTW, did you know Govinda’s Superman dance made its debut on Colbert Report last week?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008 @ 9:30 AM
> Are you complimenting me or giving gaalis?
If you have to ask then it is whatever you choose :) Or if you prefer the carollian way
Very much so! Cooked Chicken Chettinad, Chepala Pulusu and Avial for my guests to give them a flaaver of south india and watched jodhaa askbar with a bunch of friends and partied hard.What more one can ask for on a long weekend.
Thursday, February 21, 2008 @ 10:09 PM
You have an awesome writing style! Totally lovable kinda stuff. :)
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 @ 6:06 AM
Jodha Akbar ? Salman Rushdie says she is not even a real person…..
Wednesday, July 9, 2008 @ 2:28 PM